Unwanted Rabbit
by BearHunter
Summary: What would happen if the door bell rang and on the other side stood Usagi biggest secrets? ...The rabbits love child, born unknown to him and unwanted by him. Warning: Please be aware this story contains hints of child abuse and non-con rape. (updating chapters to fix most of the horrid spelling errors - sorry every one)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I feel my spine click as I lace my fingers together above my head to stretched my back out, hearing the office chair creak and groan I let my body relax and push away from my desk. Finally finished the last of my book, not that I'm going to tell Aikawa just yet. I'm sure that woman lived to torture me and who was I to take away her enjoyment (she will be over later today anyway, my deadline is noon).

Last night I slept like the dead and didn't even get as far as touching my Misaki let alone make love to him, my fault I know, at 3am I dragged my tired body to our bedroom, I didn't even get to take more than my tie and my vest off before I fell onto the bed and couldn't get up again.

I did manage to drag my tired ass out of bed at my alarm and get presentable so I could have a Misaki made breakfast. I missed my chance to eat with him only a few times since he moved in and it made the day seem weird and wrong. Like when you have a habit you were trying to break ... Speaking of habits, I search my desk for my smokes to find the packet nearly empty.

I have cut down a lot since Misaki joined me in the condo, I was not as stressed and not as lost anymore. I didn't need the toxins to fill the void and he hated it when I smoked. But honestly, I had cut down for the main reason anyone would, my health. Ok so the main – or the only reason was him, he hasn't asked me to stop but I knew he didn't like it. I screwed the packet up and crushed the last few that were in there and dumped the packet in the waste basket. He didn't ask but I would do this for him anyway.

I head Misaki call from the living room, checked my watch. Crap he has to go to Uni now, I'm going to miss out. I quickly ran down the stairs and caught him as he was delaying (pretending he needed to readjust his bag). Aww, this young man was too cute! Stalling till I got there to say my goodbyes, how could you not want to kiss and hug him!

"Misaki," I said in my bedroom voice, I felt him shiver as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders "I will drive you, stay longer Misaki" I purred in his ear. One day he will not resist, I'm not sure how I feel about that day coming, but one day he will call to me in his bedroom voice and I hope I shiver in anticipation like he does.

Ah! Not today it seems, he pushed my arms away "Usagi, I have to go, I'm meeting Todo-san you can't drive me today" he said , not altogether angry but none too happy with me.

"Come on, let me go now" he squirmed out of my grip as soon as I latched back on to him. I let him push me away again, this time, I just smirked. At least he was only meeting Todo that man I could trust. Not a weird vibe from him at all.

"Ok Misaki, be safe," I said in parting as I tousled his soft brown hair, regretting it as soon as my hand moved away as now I wanted to feel his hair in my naked chest as he rested next to me in our bed. He muttered a goodbye and took off in a rush. I should have taken longer with my book then I wouldn't miss him so much. Now what to do?

I made another coffee and took it to the sun drenched living room, my fingers twitched for a smoke and I hid my hand under my armpit as I crossed it over my chest. I sipped coffee and felt my eyes get heavy in the warmth, just need Misaki and all would be good. I opened my eyes and two little black glass eyes shone back.

Suzuki looks as lonely as me, I grabbed the oversized bear and put him next to me, he will do in place of Misaki for now, I leaned against him a little and basked in the sun. But all too soon this peaceful morning is disrupted by the door bell.

Honestly, why do we even have a doorbell, stupidest invention ever! I ran my hand over my eyes and stood, ok so maybe it was the lack of nicotine, not the doorbell that was at fault but still, it's not even 10am. The bell turned to knocking, as I made my way to the door. Ahh yelling joined the knocking... So she's early then.

I opened the door to see the demon editor muttering to herself and digging in her oversized handbag, honestly why women insist on carrying everything around where ever they go is still a mystery to me! I leaned on the open door and waited for her to notice. Again my smoking hand twitched and I hid it's treachery by putting it in my pocket.

"Ah! Usami-Sensei" she said slightly startled "You're awake, and looking refreshed" her friendly greeting started to turn sour... here it comes the demon from the editing department. "You better be finished and not trying to run off again" she growled as I let her in and shut the door. She stormed into my house like she has thousand of times before, this was kind of comforting in a way.

I wanted to run away now, just to see her reaction. But my small smile gave me away, she clapped her hands together and ran to my office, how did she not break her neck running up the steps in her slippery stockings it's a wonder. I followed slowly behind her, I needed to press print before she could get to work.

Giving her the files just on USB didn't sit right with me, I knew she would hold the digital files safe but I needed to feel the book between my fingers, mark the errors in own hand giving them a physical outlet or I would not be able to remember what I needed to change.

Making her wait for the pages fresh off the warm printer was also amusing (wow I'm in a vindictive mood today, maybe it was a lack of nicotine). She snatched each page as it came out and made herself comfortable on the floor of my office. I passed her a pen from off my desk and went to get us both a cup of coffee. After all, it looked like we were going to do last of the edits right here and now.

Stopping on the way to the kitchen I looked for a nicotine patch in the bathroom. Ahh, here the vile little sticky patches are... a month past due date... better use two. Coffees in hand I went into the office to start with the last edits.

Coffee cold and half drunk, laptop warm and overworked I finally finished with the edits. I was saving the file to USB AND reprinting it, I would be lucky if she let me re-read it one more time but I think it's fine the way it is. Already letting this project slip from my mind and moving to the next plot, time for a BL novel I think. The sunshine and warmth of the living room have given me ideas for saunas and steam rooms.

It was still early afternoon, all in all, a productive day. Misaki had work tonight at his part-time job, but I think I could build the bones of the BL novel before he got home.

The doorbell rang again, sighing heavily I got up and let Aikawa take control of the printer. Who was it this time? Who was left to invade my space, not my bratty cousins again I hopped, we just get got rid of the interlopers last month!

Too early to Takahiro, and he never turned up unannounced. Frustration was eating away at me, smoking hand itching for something to hold. Maybe the good for nothing patches are defective I want a smoke more than ever now!

"Sir, I have a young male visitor requesting entry" the security guards voice came over the voice channel of the intercom as I pressed answer "He's asking to see you, says his name is Arashi Hibiki" he informed. I held the button down but could not for the life of me work out who this kid was.

"James-san, are you sure he was asking for me, I don't know anyone by that name," I said finally, was he one of Misaki's friends, it's a name I don't know. There was a click and light static as the intercom sound cut out to mute, James is most likely checking the details with the young man. I shrugged and started to walk away when the intercom came back to life.

"Sir he asked me to tell you that his mother is Arashi Kira," James said, sounding unconcerned with the outcome of this conversation. "Sir, shall I send him away?" He asked after I was silent too long.

 _Arashi Kira, oh lord! I know that name! No, no, no, not happening._

"Yes send him away I don't know that name, thank you James-san" I lied into the intercom.

Blood was draining out of my face and I was rather sure my left eye had started to twitch. I scratched at the stupid patched under my shirt and backed away from the intercom unit. I just stared at the door like at any moment the women may burst in through and demanded things from me once again. I didn't know Akawai was even standing next to me, she was just suddenly at my arm trying to get my attention.

"Usami-Sensai, I will just take these to the office now, I think we are fine to go into print as it is, once again it's a masterpiece," she said to me, she sounded miles away. Her face came into my direct line if sight, taking away the image of that woman busting through the door.

"Are you ok?" she asked concerned. I nodded and covered my eyes with my non-smoking hand. It was shaking and I couldn't stop it, so I dropped it quickly.

"Tired is all - if you have all you need please leave," I said a little too curtly. She'd nodded and left without another word, I guess I'm like this to her more often than I realized if she didn't make a fuss at my rudeness.

She's is very good at her job and I would never accept another editor, defiantly good women, perverted mind, but good women.

Scratching at the patch again like it was my memory, if only I could get rid of thoughts as easily as I could the damned patch. It made me feel gritty and grimy, I let Misaki believe that the reason I was into men was due to seeing my mother with a man, scaring me away into the hands of a kind teacher. But it's just not true, I let him believe in that pretty lie, my Misaki didn't need to know the truth.

Shower, I need a shower! Memories of her made me want hot water, hot scolding water!

Anger settled in my gut as I took the steps to go to the bathroom, how dear she send someone after me now, all this time and she has known to leave me alone and now out of the blue she sent an errand boy after me! Never again she will never get her talons into my life, never again – it had been years. Why now, was it money – did the fortune my father paid her run out so fast!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Uni was unsettling today, not the classes they were normal and the literature teacher only threw a white board marker at me once! So a good day really, what was upsetting me was that Todo asked me the same question as my brother.

"When would you move out on your own"

I knew it was not coming from a bad place and Todo only meant well and in all honestly a young man of twenty-two should want to be out on his own right... but it just doubled my guilt at telling my brother a lie.

One that I have spun since I was eighteen. How do you stop that kind of lie, the excuses kept tumbling on to each other, I think my sister-in-law may be on to Usagi and me but I can't stop the web of lies.

Then at the flower shop an old woman gave me advice (unsolicited I might add), she was buying flowers for her sister's grave and told me how she never told her sister of how she stole her boyfriend from her on junior high and how the lie still bothered her.

"Never lie to the ones you love the dearest" she said to me as she got money out of her purse to pay, she didn't see the pain and shock in my eyes at her simple unasked for advice I had gathered myself enough by the time she looked up and smiled and bowed to her as she left. Her words kept playing over and over in my head for the rest of the shift.

I have been so afraid of what will reaction Niichan will be towards me, will the four years of lies or the confession hurt him the most.

But the old women made me think, if the worst was to happen to Niichan, and he passed with me never telling him, the guilt would eat me alive, no I have to tell him and I need to do it soon!

Finally, work and Uni was over for the week and finally I get a day off tomorrow, if I was remembering correctly Usagi's book would be done by now. Meaning we could spend time together might be too late for dinner but I will cook a fantastic breakfast for us tomorrow and we can start the day, face Niichan together and own up our lie.

I hope he doesn't hate me after I tell him, I'm almost past the face that I'm gay (almost) but being 'outed' was not really what's held me back from telling him. It's the fear that he will hate me and push me away forever, leaving me with no family in this world.

The condo is quite and dark when I got home, but I can see the light on in the office. I will just pop my head in and tell him I'm back, then take a shower and wait for Usagi.

It's still too hard to be the one to start anything with him, but I know what triggers him now and I know what to do if I need him to notice me, an acknowledgment and the mention of the shower should do the trick.

The office is surprisingly free of smoke as I pop my head in "I'm home Usagi".

He mutters "Welcome back" his hands never stop moving on the keyboard, ah so he's already moved to the next project.

What do I do now, if he wants to work on it tomorrow in place of coming to Niichans I can't ask him to not do his work? I will see how he gets up tomorrow, I can just spend time with them anyway no need to force myself to confess.

"I'm taking a shower," I tell him, watching for a reaction but getting nothing, not even a tiny pause in his typing speed. Hmmm do I ramp it up a bit, I really miss his touch.

"I'm going to use your shower gel, to wash... myself with, mine ran out" I try, nothing.

Oh wait, I saw him have to use backspace I guess I made his mind trip. I left the office door slight ajar and went to the shower to wait.

I hear the bathroom door open, and I pretend not to notice as I keep my back to the door, but my body knows and I'm already starting to react to just his presence. He's slow to undress tonight, I can feel his eyes watching me through the steam and water drops on the shower door. I move my hands from my hair down my body and bite my lip to keep silent as I brush my own semi-hard member. Come on Usagi, just get in the damn shower!

But he makes me wait, I desperately want to turn around so I can see his naked body, he hardly ever lets me see him completely naked. I want him so bad now but can't face him yet, my embarrassment will take over. I'm naked and wet and slick with shower gel and warm water... and he's waiting.

I run my hands down my body, and brush my hardening member again, I didn't bite my lip in time and let out a tiny moan. This gets him moving, the shower door opens and the cooler air rushes in.

He says my name and I want to fall to my knees in need "Misaki" the whisper is too much I turn and face him.

Oh shit! He's totally naked. I knew he would be, and part of me know you have to be to have a shower but he stepped in with me and I can see all of him.

Ok, I totally thought I was ready, but nope I can't do it, I can't start anything.

Embarrassed by my foolishness I push him and start my usual complaint "Baka! Let me shower alone..." I have so much more to say but it's cut off as he moves his head under the spray and captured my lips and invades my mouth with his. He lifted both my hands above my head and pushes me gently to the back wall of the shower. I felt trapped, wanted and safe. I stop resisting and let my body melt into his.

The warm water runs past my closed eyes and I let it caress me as Usagi's body presses hard against mine. Forcing my back to hit the cold shower tiles.

"Misaki" he whispers again as he moves from my lips to my neck, using just enough pressure to pull a whimper out of me but not marking my skin. I wiggle a little, I want a hand free, I want my hand in his silver hair, I want my other hand on his back but he holds me tight.

He leaned to capture my nipple with his mouth and has to let at least one hand go to not hurt himself. I move my freed hand to his hair and push very gently on his head letting him know I want it harder, suck it harder.

He moans around my abused nipple and his breath feels almost cool on my water warned skin. With my other hand now free and I grab his shoulder and feel him start to breathe heavily with his own need. It spurs me on, I can't think, I just want.

"Usagi" I moan and he moves from my nipple and snakes his body lower, where is he going? There is more than one nipple that needs his attention. I don't wonder anymore as he gently licks my hardening member.

I turn bright red, he can't see me but it's embarrassing nether the less. I catch a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and the shock of my face in pure need makes me slip down the shower so I can't see myself. We both end up on the shower floor, I soon forget the mirror as he starts to work my balls into his mouth. His hand slips from my chest and starts to gently rub my throbbing member. I want to touch him as he's pleasuring me, I want more of his skin next to mine, it's so rare to have it all exposed to me. I need to touch it all. I move my hands to his sides and start to trace my way down his ribs. He pulls away in shock. It's the fear I see in his eyes and it hurts a little. The emptiness I feel the loss our closeness is painful.

He captures both of my hands by pulling them off himself and smiles as me "Ahh no, Misaki. You know I'm ticklish there" he says sadly, he's not ticklish there I'm sure of it. It's his scar, I must have touched it. It's something he will not talk about.

Pulling my hands back above my head he leans into kissing my mouth once more "Misaki. I love you" he whispers as he roams my body and lands kissed everywhere. I moan and lift my body upwards till it touches his, I lean into him and press my groin into his body in time with each flick of his tongue over my nipple.

"Usagi" I moan again, stop making me wait.

The water is still warm and it's still beating down on us but I could care less as he meets my body needs to be touched and reaches his hand down to stroke me. Gasping at the pleasure-pain of his grip I give in, I'm totally his again. His other hand releases mine again and I'm free to feel his body, the pressure is building in my groin and I can't hold on longer, I need to touch him too, my hand slips down to the shower floor them over his firm legs and brushes his hard member. I blush again, I want him to feel pleasure and make him forget his name. I wrap my hand gently around it and his eyes snap to mine in surprise. The sheer amount of love in them is startling but I move my hand up and down and his eyes close in pleasure.

"Misaki" rolls from him, and it bounces around the bathroom walls, I plumb harder and get the pleasure of hearing him moan. He matches my pace and for several minutes the only sound is our joined moans vibrating around the shower and the sound of hands moving in the water. Lavender eyes meet mine, and he leans into me for a passionate kiss. I have to break it I'm trying so hard just to breath, I can't considerate on a kiss. The pressure is building so fast now. We touch foreheads and lean against each other as we work each other to the point of no return.

"Misaki" he cried out again and that's enough, I spill all over his hand I cry out loudly "Usagggii" it was louder than I thought but it pushed him over the edge too and he's coming into my hand seconds after me. Oh My God! That was like lightning!

He gently let's go and I do the same, he wraps me in a tight hug "Misaki I love you" he says with so much conviction how can I doubt him?

"Hmm me too" I mutter back, why can't I say it! How cowardly of me. I bury my head in his chest and let the water wash away my fears. All too soon the water starts to feel cool, and the floor starts to feel too hard, time we move.

Usagi gets up first "you finish in here Misaki, I will come to bed shortly," he says as he leaves the shower and me behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Wrapping a towel around my waist and my bathrobe around my shoulders I closed it tight against my body. It was a shock when Misaki touched my long ago broken ribs, the physical pain was gone but he brushed not just the light scar but the memory as well. I took a look over my shoulder at him as I left, he was truly wonderful, full of life, fit my body to perfection and his heart kept me safe. Closing the door I left him to clean himself off.

I went to the downstairs bathroom to get another confounded nicotine patch, I wanted a smoke in my hands I want to feel the comfort of that stupid white filter pressing against my fingertips. I will do this for my Misaki I will quit for him. Taking clean pajama's out if the laundry basket, I threw them over the patch and drew the strings on my pants tight. The shower had only made my body miss him more, we haven't fallen to sleep at the same time for days and it was starting to ache.

I walked past my office, stood undecided at the door for a while just looking at my laptop... Should I carry on?

No, I would be lost in the words for hours if I did that I would miss my Misaki time. As it was he was probably already in my bed shyly awaiting me. Closing the door I left work for tomorrow.

Ahh, there is his head of brown hair, still dam from the shower and cuddled down so far into the blankets I couldn't even see his face properly. I stepped over the train set, noticed that another few toys had been moved and joined the pile Misaki made of the 'bears who now had to face the wall', I should really move them out soon. Guess he didn't like an audience even if it was just soft toys.

I slipped under the covers and turned off the bedside light, he stirred as soon as the lights flicked off. I could feel his body relax as the dark surrounded us. I touched his slender waist and felt him jump, my cold hands still getting a reaction out of him. He went to move away but I didn't let him.

"Misaki, I'm cold" giving him an excuse to get closer to me. He's tense tonight, I stopped moving my hand from rubbing his hip bone. It's my favorite part is Misaki, if I touch an inch lower I get to feel the edge of his pelvis bone and it's a game to see how close to his member I can get before he moves away, I love the chase as much as the prey.

I pull him closer and breathe him in, he fits against my shoulder perfectly, he turns to lay his head in the crook of my arm and cuddled in close. I want to wrap my whole self around him, but settle for pulling my arm over his shoulder holding him tight, his fingers find my other hand and we lace them together on my chest. He still feels tense, something is playing in his mind.

"Misaki, what's the matter" I wait, I always have to wait. I feel his breath hitch and his mouth starts to make the words but it clamps shut again and he burrows himself a little deeper in the blankets.

"Misaki, tell me please" I try again, and wait again. The silence is complete and I feel my eyes get heavy as the days of hardly any sleep start to catch up with me.

I can't stay awake much longer as his warm body is making me feel safe and sleepy. I nearly slip under but I hear his little voice call my name.

"Usagi... We need to tell him" he says, so quietly. Tell him, tell who?

"I can't lie to Niichan anymore" he sounds afraid like I might be the one to say no.

I agree "Yes Misaki, we do. But know this I will do anything and risk anything to keep you" He nods into my shoulder and tightens his grip on my hand.

"Tomorrow..." He says, wow that's soon, ok we can do this tomorrow.

"Yes Misaki, we can tell him tomorrow if you feel ready." I let him know, reassure him. Kiss him on the head and feel him relax finally. "Shall we go visit them then" another nod from him.

"I will bake a cake for Manami and Mihario"

"Nice they will like that, She is so busy now that she's gone back to work, it will be a nice surprise"

"She's such a good mother" he mutters and slips into sleep.

Oh dear lord... I grip is hand tight, then let it go as he squirms in discomfort. I stare at the ceiling in the dark. I remember the rest of the intercom message now, Misaki talking of 'mother' made me realize. I replay the conversation in my head and the one line stuck out... "Sir he asked me to tell you that his mother is Arashi Kira" …

That vile woman was a mother, how was she allowed to breed. It's a lie, a trick, she could love nothing other than herself, her reflection and money. What if... just what if she was a mother, how old would that child be? What a twisted soul would he be? Who would let her father a child with her? My blood ran cold at the thought. I shivered and avoided the fragment of thought that was starting to chase around my mind... what if it's mine... collides against...it's a trick to torture me. The two mindset fight with each other and my guts starts to churn.

I couldn't stay in the dark and let my thoughts spin. I moved Misaki off my body and tucked the warm sheet around him so he would not stir awake. Took my robe and left Misaki to his sleep. Not bothering with lights I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge to get the cold water and took out the white wine instead. It was not a water kind of night.

Taking a glass and the bottle I went to the office. Writing would chase away the confusion. It has before, it can now.

I filled my glass to the nearly top and waited for the laptop to boot up, the blue-ish glow was a comfort to me. Feeling like an old friend who never talked but took all my questions away. I opened the Misaki photo folder first, and I just let photos of Misaki gentle face and emerald eyes fill my screen calming my nerves.

I kept flicking through images, it was like counting down the years we have known each other. Getting to when he was eighteen and the snapshots started to get blurry. I smiled as I remembered how I had to sneak the shots of him in the first few months, my phone camera hidden as I snapped him storming away or turning bright red or candid shots of him cooking totally unaware that I was even in the room with him. Suddenly I was at the point where the images of him were not from when I knew him so well, I stopped at an old one I had scanned from a real photo of me and Takahiro and a very young Misaki (maybe he was only fifteen, three years before I knew him as mine) in the photo he held on to his big brother's arm and looked at him with so much trust and awe it hurt.

I wanted that trust from him, that look to be for me! Was I really jealous of a photo of his brother from years ago?

I went to touch his face on the laptop screen when I stopped and really looked at myself from all those years ago. Shadows were covering my face but I remembered what the shade if the tree hid, a yellow and purple partly healed black eye. My right arm is hidden behind Takahiro's back, as I didn't want to show the bandage in the photo. My face smiled for the camera but my eyes were empty and I was painful to look at. I covered my face on the screen with my hand and looked at the loving brothers. Would it really be ok to tell Takahiro about his younger brother and me?

Would that calm look be taken away, I have worked hard to keep this man's respect and hid nearly everything he would consider unsavory from him for years? Deceiving him about our relationship till the point it now feels natural to lie about it. Like I was writing for one of my books, I have built my livelihood on telling pretty tales and I no longer stopped myself from spinning one for him, one he would be ok with. One that would keep the smile on his face.

He would have to be ok, for Misaki I would make him listen, I would not walk away until the brothers understood each other. Both of them were worth the time and pain it might cost me. Closing the photo folder down, I clicked on the search engine icon, I wanted to search Arashi Kira and see what I could find, but I'm afraid of what I would see. I remember that her face is very pretty but her heart is black and filled with tar I don't want to see her golden eyes mock me!

Before I knew it I had typed her name and hovered over the search button. I gasped and pulled my hand away as if the keys betrayed me. Good lord, she's not here what am I afraid of. I have avoided all social media and had no accounts on any site apart from an official Marukawa Publishing page and that was not managed by me.

Aikawa gave me assignments sometimes for blogs to write for the page but after our first real argument about it, when Isaka had to insist that she drop it or she would no longer be employed, I have never even thought about getting any other social media accounts. True I could not be bothered with them now and I don't understand the obsession of cats who can't spell and pictures of coffee. But the real reason was that women, I didn't want her to find me, and it made me lose interest in the thing. I drained the glass of wine and filled it half way, but still couldn't press search.

I got up and turned the office light on, the lamp and the hallway light! _There you chicken shit! Now click search._

She can't know you looked for her, and maybe she was ugly now... or in prison, or better yet... dead.

 _Dead, she really was dead! Over six months dead!_

Every link I clicked on was about the dear departed Arashi Kira. Some links spewed out nothing but admiration for her, and others put witch burnings to shame, calming everything from a drug overdose to a jaded lover murdering her. She was equally loved and hated by the great beast known as the internet. But she was gone, and that all that really mattered.

I felt the tension leave my chest, and my body relax, she really was gone. Never to get her talons into my life ever again. The young man from this morning was a trick then, he was an errand boy after all. Wonder if he found out about me and the contract father had drawn up and now wanted to make a scene... was it too late to call father?

I didn't bother scrolling to page two of the search results, I had enough of her face (false lashes, false nose, and false smile) to last me till the next meteor shower wiped out all creation. One thing to check before I called father to warn him, typing in the supposed son's name Arashi Hibiki, I hit search.

Not many pages came up for him, one link stood out like a beacon "young master Arashi Hibiki found days after the death of his mother, who died tragically of a drug abuse" _holy shit!_

So he was her son, he's well hidden if the internet hasn't dragged him into the light but as I read the short article I found out that she did indeed waste all the money she had and left this kid with nothing, true Kira style, selfish right to the end. I scrolled down and saw a picture of the kid. Dear god, he looked like her, had her eyes – golden and empty, his light ash blond hair hid part of his face and he had a death grip on a small yellow teddy bear as he stared at the camera. He looks so young in this image, maybe five or younger. No mention of where the kid is now, and no mention of his father. It was frightening to see her eyes looking at me from such a young face. I shut it all down and closed the laptop without even opening the book I had intended to distract myself with.

Too late to call father now, I left all the lights on and walked back to our bedroom. I feel better just knowing she's not in this world anymore. The golden eyed kid bothered me a little.

I don't want to, but I will reach out to father tomorrow and he will fix this blackmailer. It will cost me dearly but I will pay to keep this old part of my life hidden from Misaki.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Ugh.. he's heavy! How can such a slim man be so dam heavy! I pushed him off me, don't really need to be too gentle I could still hear his breathing and it was steady so he was in deep sleep. Time to make breakfast, I wanted to start this day perfectly. If I made everything in my control perfect Niichan will take the news of my lies in a better light.

Breakfast and cake, I started on both. European breakfast today, a treat - Usagi loved bacon but it was expensive and hard to get, toast and sunny side up eggs. Coffee and juice... perfect!

The chocolate cake was in the oven and it must have been what pulled Usagi out of bed, his clothes we on but is hair was messed and he had small Suzuki-san under his arm as he walked down the stairs. I smiled, I could see the new pink ribbons I had brought for both the Suzuki's in his other hand and he put them all down on the seat next to mine. I would change the ribbons as I waited for the toast to finish cooking.

Stretching out the table, he sat, knowing I would chase him out of my kitchen if he tried to help. I put the panda ashtray down next to him, but he had no smoke hanging out of his mouth.. surprising. But I'm not saying anything to remind him – he smokes enough as it is – I wish he would just quit. Breakfast was perfect, the conversation was light and the mood was cheerful. I had text Niichan and he said it was fine to come over whenever we were ready.

The cake had also come out perfect too! So far a good start to the day. Now to let it cool and decorate it, maybe blue and while for little Mihario. And white icing roses for Manami. I set up the mixer for the icing preparations and heard Usagi mutter something about his book as he left the room.

Ok, no time to worry about the perverted things he might put in his BL novels, I'm sure the shower scenes from last night was already in one of his books anyway. How can I tell Niichan, what do I say? I have to tell him today... before I chicken out again.

The door buzzer went off, I went to get it – it's a weekend so the doorman would not be here to announce who it was. I went to answer it before Usagi is distributed.

"Hello" I called and the video switched on, I couldn't really see much, a tuft of ash blonde hair.

"Hello," I called again.

"Umm, Usami Akihiko?" a small child's voice asked, I could nearly see him as he tiptoes up to see the video.

"Umm, no I'm Takahashi Misaki, how can I help you?" I asked

"I have to see Usami Akihiko" he said again.

I heard heavy footsteps come down the stairs. Usagi Idiot.. don't run you will fall. He was suddenly at my back and leaned over to press the end button.

"He's my father" I heard the tiny voice say... what... sorry... what...

"Misaki, hang up" Usagi was nearly yelling at me, we fought over the intercom buttons and I pressed the enter button in error as he leaned against me. Pulling away from me suddenly, I could see the whites of his eyes through his glasses he used when he was typing.

Jeez! Maybe him not smoking this morning was not the best idea, he's grumpier than normal and acting a bit weird.

"Leave Misaki" he said to me in a low voice.

"What baka... no" I rolled my eyes at him and went to the door to let the wayward visitor know he had the wrong apartment... well he had the right one for Usami Akihiko but he was way off the mark if he thought his pervert was his father.

I opened the door as the elevator dinged and out walked a very small child.

"Misaki, get back" Usagi cautioned me, Jeez why was he so freaked out over a lost child. I waited for the kid's mother or father to appear out of the elevator after him but it just closed and sent its self back down to the ground floor.

The kid stood with his back to the closed steel doors, he was a small child, big golden eyes that darted around looking at everything as the rest of his body stayed perfectly still. His hair reminded me of the colour of Usagi's and he carried a small yellow bear that looked a lot like Suzuki. Hmm guess Usagi really did get his Suzuki from a 'commoners store' as he would put it. The kid's eyes stopped moving and grew even wider as he found the man behind me. I could tell he was there, that's the look most kids gave him. The please don't scold me look. Wow, now I just felt sorry for the kid.

I took a step forward but I was halted by Usagi who had grabbed my arm tightly, I pulled to get loose from his grip but he was not budging.. lord you would think that the kid had explosives strapped to his chest the way this idiot was acting.

"Hello, I'm Takahashi Misaki , you were talking to me on the intercom, are you lost?" I asked his eyes snapped to me as I started to talk but they didn't linger long – they found their way back to the idiot behind me. What he hell is going on it's like these two are in a Mexican stand-off.

I finally pulled away from Usagi, and I saw him follow me closely as I stepped towards the frighten kid. This is the penthouse condo so he really must be lost. He tracked my progress with his eyes and his grip on the bare tightened as he shook his head.

"No, you're not lost?" I asked him and pushed Usagi away from me.

He shook his head again "Not lost" he said, his voice was so controlled and didn't sound like it should come from one so young. He looked only about five or maybe six years old.

"Ok," I promoted "You came to see your father, he's not on this floor. Want me to help you find the right apartment?" He shook his head and finally stepped away from the elevator and towards me, he looked so afraid but so determined to meet me half way.

"I had to come, she told me – find Usami Akihiko, he's your father he will look after me" he rushed out the words and they jumped together... but I clearly hear that one word again... mixed in with my Usagi's name...

"Father" I managed to say and angrily shoved the accused man away from me, I threw dagger stares his way, this had better not be true Usagi-san!

The kid nodded and seemed happy that I had finally understood him, but he was so wrong... I understood nothing.

I shook my head, leaned down to meet his golden eyes "He can't be your father little one, you sure that's the name you are looking for?" I asked this kid was so confused. He nodded and went white as a sheet, I could feel Usagi behind me, he was looming over the kid and his bear dropped to the ground seconds before the kid passed out. I rushed to catch him and just got him in time before his head hit the tiled entryway floors. The kid was burning up, he felt like he had a fever and he clearly was not well.

"No Misaki, don't," Usagi said to me as I picked up the boy, he weighed nearly nothing and turned to take him in and his bear inside the condo.

"Usagi, he's lost and confused and we can sort that out when he wakes but now he's running a fever and I am not ok with leaving him in the foyer" he was baring my way into the condo "move! come on, get-out-of-the-way". I put him on the sofa and pushed the big Suzuki to the floor, not that the kid needed the room he looked tiny on our sofa but I knew from personal experience that waking up with a giant bear staring at you was unsettling, to say the least.

"Usagi, can you go get a blanket from my bedroom please," I asked, but he made no movements he just kept staring at the kid who was unconscious on our sofa.

"Come on Usagi, a blanket" still nothing, ok this was not making me feel comfortable.

"Usagi, please" he was acting weird and I didn't feel ok with leaving this young child alone with this man who was freaking out way too much for my likings.. something was wrong.

"Akihiko!" I finally growled, that got his attention he whipped his head to me in surprise and nodded as he rushed upstairs to get a blanket. Wow, I haven't called him that... since well I'm not sure I have ever called him that. I just kind picked up the nickname my brother used from him and it became normal.

I brushed the hair out of the boy's face, it was soft like Usagi's. In sleep, he looked just a little like him too,... ha ha ha... no no no, don't all kids look the same... Usagi came back with the blanket and handed it to me without looking at me, he rushed off to get the first aid kit I kept in the downstairs bathroom.

"Get a cold wet cloth to" I yelled out to the rabbit. Man, I knew he didn't like children - but I didn't know they made him this uncomfortable.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

It all happened too fast, I heard the door buzz and my stomach fell, I argued with Misaki, then the kid was standing in front of me, he fainted, Misaki was not listening and I couldn't stop it from happening. Now the kids on my couch.

"Akihiko" Misaki growled at me, he has been talking to me but I have not really been hearing much since I saw that kid in the hallway!

"Blanket, right" I snapped out of my daze, jumped up and rushed to do Misaki's bidding. I went to his bedroom and hovered my hand over the blanket at the end of his bed. _No, he will not get to touch anything of Misaki's._

I got the spare blanket in the wardrobe and took it back downstairs . I could see the kid from the upper-level balcony. He was very small, even next to my Misaki he was small. He looked very pale, I wondered what caused him to faint.

I couldn't look my love in the eye, this kid, he brings all my shame and fear into our house and Misaki brushes his hair and worries for him? How... How can you do that? Get away from him. I can't stand here next to him, I go to the bathroom I think I'm going to throw up!

"Get a cold cloth to" Misaki calls out and I put my hand against my mouth as I feel my breakfast start to come up. I shut the door and throw up in the sink (it makes less noise than the toilet, another trick that women taught me, don't make a sound.. can't let them hear). I run the cold tap and wash it away as I reach down to get the cloth Misaki is expecting me to bring back. I feel hot and cold and maybe like I will throw up some more but Misaki is waiting.

I hand the wet cloth to him and take a few steps away from the sofa, Misaki put the little bear on the blanket next to the kid and it all looks so normal. He stirs a little as the cloth goes on his forehead and I cross my arms to hold everything in and to stop myself from snatching my loves hands away from the kid's face. He's just comforting a small child who looks like he needs help, but it's clawing me apart.

Misaki looks around the floor by the sofa then back to me, his green honest eyes meet mine and I send a hand back up to my mouth. I felt the need to be sick again. He frowns at me and goes to get up off the ground.

"Usagi, where is the first aid kit?" he asks me.

I walk to the bathroom and go to collect it for him, bring back a small cup of water from the kitchen. And look at the liquid in the glass slosh as I put it on the coffee table next to the kit. My mouth is so dry, I can't talk but I have to explain soon, Misaki not going to let me silent much longer.

"Usagi," he says softly as he gets the thermometer out and places it on the coffee table next to the water. He won't look at me as he talks "what do you think he was talking about?" He asks and waits for me to answer, but I can't.

He finally looks at me, one of my hands back over my mouth and the other is holding my ribs I can feel myself rubbing the scar tissue with my fingertips under my shirt. No tears in Misaki's eyes...yet. He wants an answer, but I can't speak and just shake my head at him and look away. He leans back and sits on his knees with the glass waiting in his hand.

Waiting for the kid to wake, he is starting to stir a little I don't think it will be long till his golden eyes open.

"He said Father Usagi" oh lord I was going to crumble to the floor right here in front of my Misaki, I don't want to hear the next words. I close my eyes for a second. _Please, Misaki_ don't _ask._

"Is it true?" he asks.

"No Misaki" I shake my head to double confirm it, my lover looks up at me and smiles fondly. I manage a weak smile back but can't hold eye contact for more than a second. _Sorry, my love. I don't know if it's true or not._

I see Misaki's shoulders relax and he turned to the boy as his eyes fluttered open. The kid's hands went protectively around his bear and his eyes looked bewildered and confused. Misaki was hiding my view from him as he held the glass to his line of sight and the boy nodded and sat up a bit to take the glass.

"Good, drink all of that if you can. It will make you feel better" Misaki said playing nurse. The boy nodded again and drank it in one go. I dared not move, the kid seemed afraid of me. Well, buddy, the feeling is mutual!

"Can you tell me your name?" the boy nodded again at Misaki's question.

"Hibiki," he said in his tiny clear voice.

"Well Hibiki, you gave me a fright" the kid's eyes started to look past Misaki but he was still blocking the kid's view of me.

"Do you have someone I can call to come collect you?" He shook his head and started to look past Misaki again, but again he was effectively blocked from seeing me. "You said you're looking for your father, what's his name again?"

"Usami Akihiko," he said in a sure voice. Misaki's back tensed up again and I swallowed my fear.

"You sure Hibiki, he has no children, maybe you have the name wrong," he said, his voice was starting to waver a little.

"I'm sure, she told me to find Usami Akihiko - he's my father and he will look after me," he said again his voice getting a little shaky.

 _He means his vile mother! What lies did that woman tell to him!_

Misaki stayed still, I desperately wanted to see his face I must have moved slightly as the kid stiffened and started on his little speech again "She told me... she said... find Usami Akihiko.. she told me" he sounded like he was going to start crying and Misaki finally moved from his view. _That's it, I have had enough of this foolishness! I have to end it now._

I moved so the kid could see me and leaned down to his height, Misaki moved to the arm of the sofa so he could see me or maybe so I wouldn't touch him.

"Look kid" I started, and the boy pushed himself deep into the corner of the sofa, pulling his teddy up to his chest as he started at me with wide frighted eyes.

"Kid. I _did_ know your mother" I heard Misaki take in a sharp breath and the kid lowered his bear... guess neither of them actually thought I would admit to anything like this.

"She was a b..." _bitch_ ".. not very nice to me when I knew her... but" I saw Misaki swipe at his eyes with his sleeve.

"But" I started again "Just because I _knew_ her seven years ago _before_ you were even born, does not mean I'm your father... STOP saying I am" I was trying to keep my voice even but I don't think I succeeded the kid looked even more afraid of me than before. I sighed loudly and leaned back on my knees, I was not getting through to this kid at all.

I looked at Misaki for support but got none... _No Misaki.. wait...you can't believe him... please._

Both of them just looked up at me... green and gold eyes pierced my soul! Both wanting completely different answers from me.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Did Usagi say he knew this kids Mother, the boy didn't even say his last name – how could Usagi know that, let alone know who this kids mothers even was.

I rose from the arm of the couch, something not right. I was convinced that the kid really was just lost, a bit confused and found us at random.

Usagi's name has been in the paper and on the TV lately since he won that award so the kid could have heard it and got it mixed up with what ever his fathers name was... it happens right... its not like Usagi has shown interest in females..

I mean they all want him and I'm sure a few crazy fans would love to be the mother of his children. But he said he loved me …. right?

The kid looked kind of angry now, he was nearly strangling the bear in his grip and looked so much like Usagi when he was in a bad mood. It would have been cute if not for the fact that his very existence is starting to shatter my world.

Seven years ago, if that kid was six, maybe... then the numbers are still not right!

He can't really be his could he?... no no no... Usagi liked men... he loved my bother before he even confessed his love to me... how could he have... s..se.. relations with a female... and enough relations to end up with a kid?

I wanted to run, or scream at him and punch him until he told me it was a stupid joke to make me say that I love him. But I was frozen, waiting for the punch line... waiting for it to make sense.

Usagi's explanation was not sitting well with the kid who was angrier and angrier and he fully scowled as Usagi told him it didn't mean he was his father.

It was quite, we all stayed perfectly still. No one willing to move or be the next one to start taking... but the patience of a child old was very short.

"She's Dead!" he growled at Usagi, like he had something to do with the whole thing.

"She told me to find you and you would look after me... she told me" he started on his speech again "I found you, she said so..." his anger ran out and tears slid down his angry little cheeks.

He pulled the bear up to cover his face and stared to sob into it.

Dead god! I knew that sob, his mother really was dead.. and by the sound of the kids heart ache, not to long dead.

Usagi's hands went to touch the boy, but they stopped short as he just stated at him with wide eyes unable to to understand how to help him.

I growled at Usagi and push his useless hands away – I am in no mood to touch or pamper this grown man.. he's lied to me.. he may not the be father but he knows who this kid is and he's lied.

I took the kid in to my arms, teddy bear and all, and held on to him tight. Letting him sob into my shoulder. I don't know what's going on, but this kid is broken. We will get nothing out of him for now.

He sobbed and hiccuped in to my chest and his small hands tangled them selves in my sweater as he leans into my strength. I remembered this pain, he must have bottled it all up for a while now and as soon as the lid was taken off his control he's feeling it all as raw emotion.

I focused on making little sounds of comfort and started rubbing his back to sooth and calm him. My mind going in as many circles as my hand. I don't want to think he worst, but its hard when its here holding on to your shirt for dear life.

Akihiko finally moved away from this sofa somewhere between the sobbing and the back rubbing. I could feel him watching us from the other side of the room and totally unable to understand how to help.

That's fine by me, I want to ignore him as much as I can now. If I acknowledge him I will start yelling or crying.. or maybe both.

He's clam now, and I loosen my hold a little to see if he's still awake. But I cant move from him just yet, I cant look at Usagi yet either now.

Golden eyes look up at me, he's a beautiful child – hair soft and almost silver like Akihiko. I smile gently at him and pull a face to let him know its ok. He wrinkles up his nose at me but I see the light start to reach his eyes again.

"Hey Hibaki, you want some cake?" I ask and nod towards the kitchen "I just made some" I'm careful to keeping my tone light. He nods and I pull him up out of the nest of sorrow he made in the blanket.

I take his hand and he flinches at the contact, I ignore his reaction, its nothing he can control – he's raw from the emotion he just sobbed and snorted out on my shirt.

"It's chocolate" I prattled on, filling our empty house with nonsense as I got two plates and cut two pieces and served one to each of us. I continued to ignore Akihiko and we ate with our hands.

This kid is jumpy, he shies away if I raise my hand too quickly, he waits for me to do something before he copies me exactly – like eating with our hands, he even tuned the plate around twice like I did before he bit into it.

Akihiko moves from the chair and Hibaki nearly falls off the bar stood in fear at the noise behind him.

"Hey Hibaki, how old are you?" I ask sounding innocent pulling his focus away from behind him. I keep eating bites of my cake that I don't want. I can't taste the bloody thing anyway but the kid looks relaxed again.

"I'm six and a half" he says proudly and beamed a smile at me with a mouth full of cake.

"wow you are so... old... like as old as the dinosaur" I tease him and he snickers, he's small like me, so I know he was waiting for me to comment on how short he is, I smile back at him. He is kinda cute when taken by surprise like this, he looks like Akihiko too.

I know Akihiko has heard him and look towards him with hard eyes... yes I heard him too Akihiko... he's nearly seven... you do the maths on that one will you... you knew her seven years ago.. plenty of time you deceitful jerk.

"You want some milk? " I ask, and go to get both of us a glass, like before I have to drink before he will even pick up his glass – what's making a six and a half year old so fearful?

"Thank you sir" he says politely and I wink at him.

"You can call me Misaki if you like" he nods "lets play a game, ok" he nods again, a little weary this time.

"You get to ask me a question and I answer then I ask you one ok... like ask me anything Kay" he nods,.

He's not really buying into this whole game thing... well I can't blame him I was like that too when the social services worker ask me to play the same game after my parents died and before Niichan got full custody.

"So you can ask me.. like, if I really made this cake or if I faked it and brought it from the super market" I rolled me eyes at him "Don't ask me that... I really did make it" I stage whisper to him like its some secrete. He made a tiny snort at me but nodded.

I took another drink to hide my anticipation, I cant rush is kid to the answers I want.

"You start ..." I promoted him

He took a drink too and placed it on the bench only when I put mine down, he looked sweet as he though hard about his question.

"Misaki-Senpai, how old are you?"

"Pfftt wasted question... I'm oblivious nearly as tall as you so you must know" he didn't giggle as much as snicker again "I just turned 22 last month" I said and made a show of thinking of my question.

I cut him some more cake and put it on his plate. Cut my self another unwanted piece too just so the kid would eat his.

"My turn.. oh easy one. What's your last name?" I asked, and kept one eye out for Akihiko reaction to this question.

"Pfftt wasted question.." he mimicked me and I stuck my tongue out at him "I told the door guy yesterday Arashi"

I saw Akihiko stop dead still on way to reach us, he had been moving slowly to not started the kid but now I knew, that he knew – he had been caught out.

"Opps.. that was a waste of a good question... your turn" I pretend I knew he was here yesterday, but its getting hard to not let it show on my face.

It's hard to be the grown up, I don't want to to be the one that has to do this to a child. But Akihiko is more broken then this kid.

I can't think about the truth that I know, I can't crumble and fall apart ... I'm the only one in this house who is currently holding it together. So I play pretend, I will keep going.

He thinks hard again, and smiles as our game "Did you really truly make this cake ... Like not from a packet?" He asks and I humph at him.

"Yes Mr. smarty pants! I really truly made this cake from scratch... Right I get two questions in a row now for you making fun of my cooking" I declare.

 _I have to go careful now, not to much and not too soon... careful Misaki_

"When did your mother tell you about Usami Akihiko?" I ask gently and wait as I see him go still again but he will keep up our game and he will eventually answer me. I look for Akihiko in the room see him standing in the middle of the room with a hand to his mouth, and the other worrying the old scar on his rib.

He really looks like he's about to cave in on him self, and I hurt to see him in so much pain, I want to go to him and wrap him in my arms but there is a kid here that we need answers from.

"When she got sick, it's was better for awhile" he looked up at me and he turned pale again "then it got bad and she told me his name and made me wait" he lowered his head again but no tears came, I could go a little further...

"Wait for what Hibaki" I asked gently

"Till they found us, she told me I had to wait till they found me... then I had to find Usami Akihiko and he would look after me" he looked back up at me with so much hope in his face... hope that I would make it ok, but I couldn't. I didn't even really understand what he was trying to tell me. Maybe if I took Psyc Ed classes at Uni I would know how to carry on but I didn't. I don't know want to, nor know how to, keep playing this game.

I went to reach for him but he pulled away and held his bear to his chest again.

"Sorry" I said, sorry for your pain, sorry for your confusion and... Just sorry. But it's a useless word it was useless when I was little and people said it to me and it was useless today.

"I know what my last question is" I tried to sound light and like his words didn't effect me. He looked at me blankly.

"What's your bears name?" I asked trying to deflect his mood. It worked, kind of.

"Echo" he said as he hugged his bear.

"Well Echo looks tired to me, what do you say we take him for a nap in my room?" I ask as I start to move, still not looking at Usami Akihiko.

He jumps down and follows me, I put him in the side of me furtherest away from Akihiko - who he is clearly afraid of and we go to my room. I head a sob from down stairs as I shut my bedroom door.

I pull back the covers and he claims up. He pulls the covers over his bear and himself, he looks so unsure. Poor kid, he's so confused.

I'm starting to shake, and I want to run - but I can't see Usami yet.

"What me yo read Echo a story?" I ask and his eyes go wide and he nods eagerly.

I move the BL novels adapting and find the book Niichan used to read to me about a fish and his bowl that kept getting smaller. I had nearly finished it when he finally went to sleep.

His bear slipped from the bed and I went to pick it up. But it made a strange crinkling kind of noise - it felt like it had paper inside. I checked the seams and part of his side was un-stitched and something was stuffed inside.

I checked the kid to see if he was asleep before I took out the papers that were hidden inside his bear.

Sitting crossed legged on the floor by my bed I unfolded them. One was a dog eared and creased photo of a women's and a young Akihiko!

Maybe he was 24 or 25 years old in this shot.

This must be Hibaki's mother... and confirmed that Usami did indeed know his mother. I turned the photo over and saw tidy hand writing both if their names on it. And our address, the pen colour was different, same penmanship but it looked like It has been added years after the names. Guess that's how he found us.

I let it drop to my lap. Opened the paper, it was a birth certificate.

 _Child's full name : Arashi Hibaki_

 _Mother: Arashi Kira , Profession: Home Maker_

 _Father: Akihiko Usami, Profession: Writer_

I couldn't see any more the tears threatened to take all of my sight and I let that paper drop with the photo as my mind went blank...father: Akihiko Usami ...

I took the bits of paper and the photo, stood, put the bear back in my bed with its owner and took my phone as I left the bedroom. I shut the door quietly and walked calmly to the living room.

I know what I what to do, I want to leave... no I want to yell at him... no I want to sit any cry... ok maybe I don't know what I want.

I grip the birth certificate and photo and walk towards him...

I want to call Niichan, I have already unlocked my phone and it will only take one tap before I can hear his voice but I pause...

What will this man in front of me have to say for him self over this evidence.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Hibaki was such a quite kid, soft spoken and controlled. I could see him flinch every time Misaki moved to quickly, I could see his wide calculating golden eyes watching... waiting for the unexpected anger, waiting for the hand across his face or the 100 other ways she would control me to be inflicted onto him.

Misaki was amazing, he was taking care of this kid so well, he even got him to eat.

I still couldn't go anywhere near the kid, I'm afraid of him and he's afraid of me.

The pieces were falling into place, my Misaki kept probing the kid with questions and every answer he gave took even more strength from me.

He's six, not five. That was important I knew that detail was important Misaki looked my way so it was important. But I can't think why as I just try and not pass out. _Was it only yesterday that I first found out about him?_

Hearing the kids pain as he talked about his mother was what broke me, a tear threatened to fall down my face.

I hard them leave the room and as Misaki's presence left the room it's like my strings had been cut, with a sob I dropped back down to the sofa.

If she would do such things to me, what had this small child had to live though. He was only six for god sake that look should never be in a child's eyes – it should never be in anyone's eyes.

I'm glad the vile women is dead and I hope she is suffering now and forever.

I just sat on the sofa and let my weary head fall into my hands, I don't want to memories to surface again but its too late I cant stop them. That child has made me remember, I closed my eyes and pulled my head down between my legs with my arms – why now, I was so happy, I had forgotten I had found happiness, I had found Misaki.

"Why Kira you evil bitch! Do you have to destroy me even in death"

I could hear her voice, I could hear her laughter – high and vicious. The final time I saw her was at the office of my father, he had drawn up the legal papers and she had to come into sign them – he made me watch, my father made me sit in the same room with the women who had broken two of my ribs, abused me and raped me body and mind until I was hollow.

He stood and watched as she sat with her deceitful smile and signed the papers gladly accepting fortune from my father in agreement she would never see or ever mention any of this to any one.

She leaned over and took the papers and the cheque off the table, slid it past me and stopped as she nearly brushed me arm, taking delight in seeing me flinch. She whispered very low, it but it was all I could hear for days after.

"You will be mine forever! When you are happy I will come and take it all way from you"

My father bellowed at her that if she come near any Usami ever again her contract is null and void and she would never see sunshine every again. I believed him, but I didn't think my father meant prison in her threat , she would be seeing, it would be the end of her life.

My father just looked at me after she was gone, as he stood to leave – after getting nothing from me and said that words that would start my walls coming up

"This... this Akihiko is why you should never trust anyone. You are to naive and they are out for only one thing" he closed the office door on me and left me to my own pain.. I think that's when the father son rift was finally complete – he could offer me no comfort, only contempt.

But one man did offer me comfort, he came to pick me up that afternoon from my fathers cold office block and he saved me from myself. I'm not sure if I would have gone so far as to kill myself but I was not good place.

He took me to his house, his kid brother was at a school camp and he just let me be in pain. I guess he knew how to look after people who were in pain after taking care of his little brother it seams to come naturally to the man.

Grandly his gentle manner pulled me out of my self pity – he feed me and sat with me most of the night until I was ready to accept his help and finally spoke.

"Takahiro, I'm so sorry... she.. it hurts... I'm sor" I couldn't finish the sentence, he was smiling at me, not angry not looking down at me but smiling and accepting me.

And said the words that helped me heal "I will keep you safe from harm Usagi, I will be your safe place – if you feel fearful or afraid you can come to me Usagi. You will move on when you are ready, you will feel safe again I promise. I can protect you just like Misaki, you are also precious to me Usami Akihiko"

Those words soothed all the pain away, it all just melted with his kindness. He knew what happened to me and he accepted me anyway, he still wanted to be near me. He still let me touch him, him alone in this world - he still saw me as someone that was untainted.

My brother and my father – they just saw disgust in me, saw my actions as weak and wanted nothing to do with me. But this man, this friend of mine – he still saw me. Not the broken, beaten man before him.

For him I could carry on, I could push my pain in to a little box and smile for this man.

His body was warm as he gently leaned against me, and I finally let my eyes close – feeling safe and welcomed.

This strong man, this man who has been in my life for so long, this man who has seen me at my worst, that man who has been through a lot more then I ever have – if he could carry on after the death of both of his parents and taking on the responsibility of his kid brother – I could get up and carry on from this twisted relationship.

A month later, I realised he we would never be s items. But that was alright I could never think of us as anything other then friends after he knew how broken I was maybe he knew this too.

But by then he had taken me out of the darkness and shown me light again – I would do anything to keep this man happy, I would suffer watching his girlfriends come and go, I would watch him worry over his younger brother and watch him flourish at his work.. and never touch him, never do anything to make him shy away from me... I needed him to remind me I was not what she wanted to make me, I was not hollow and I was not broken.. not completely anyway.

I was removed from my memories by Misaki coming down stairs. But the pain of the memories were not gone, it hung in the air like mist and still swirled around my head making the past and the present meld and move into each other.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Misaki came into the room, his face tight and controlled – his anger was just being held in check, I could feel it in the air.

"He's asleep now, in my bed – so I will..." he muttered, not finishing the sentence, anger and fear holding him back. I couldn't look at him property – I failed him, didn't keep in safe from my past.

I lifted my head up and sat back up on the sofa, I grabbed the ribs she had long broken and felt their pain all over again. But my real fear and my sin were up stairs asleep in my lovers bed.. or is that ex-lover now?

I need help! I cant face this pain on my own, its crushing my chest.

I remember the man that helped me last time she broke my world. I looked at his little brother, tears welling in his eyes and total lack of understanding on his face, he was betrayed by me and he was confused.

 _No... him escape this madnesses._

I need his brother "Takahiro, I need Taka..." I said as I got up off the sofa. I saw papers flutter from his hands.

Seeing the pain in my Misaki's face as the dam of tears spilt over. He rubbed his eyes angrily and he let out a painful heart tearing cry, he pressed a button on his phone and threw it at me, I just caught it before It fell, I reached out to him but he was already gone! Just up and run.

 _Wait.. Misaki.. don't leave me.. Mis.._

"Misaki..." I heard faintly from the phone "hello, Misaki.. .you there" I lifted the phone to my ear and a tear finally slid down my face.

"Takahiro, its me" I whispered

"Oh Usagi, is everything all right – why are you calling me on Misaki's phone" he laughed then instantly switched to serious "has something happened to Misaki, is he ok?" he asked in a panic.

"Yes.. no... yes it's... I think..." oh that sounded bad "No he's not physically hurt..."

"Usagi, what do you mean? Are you ok" he asks

"I don't know, Takahiro..." I couldn't finish the sentence, I was torn what do I do – chase after the younger brother or ask the older one to help me? I shouldn't be aloud to touch Misaki, let alone ask him to help me.

"Akihiko, what's the matter your too quite, your scaring me" I could hear his own kid squealing with joy in the background, it made me look up to the bedroom, would that kid ever make that kind of sound, had he ever been happy.

His voice from years ago played in my mind _"I will keep you safe from harm Usagi, I will be your safe place..."_ It was selfish but I needed him.

I said two words that would be enough for him to understand most of the pain. "Arashi Kira"

"Whhhhattt! Akihiko, where are you – are you at home"

"Yes"

"Don't move I will come to you now" then he hung up.

"Okay"

I looked at the phone in my hands, the black screen sowed my own fearful eyes back at me I threw it into the sofa in disgust and went to the liquor cabinet. I need a drink!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Dear mother and father in heaven!, what am I going to do?

I nearly told him I was going to his bed... like everything was ok, like everything was normal... but its not... that's not going to happen again.

He has a kid to look after... his kid... he will need to focus on him.. I can't get in their way... Hibaki lost his mother already and he still has a chance to know his father.

Something I never had... I can't get in between. Niichan was right, family is too important ... I'm not needed in his home.

I was to was no longer Usagi... he's Akihiko to me now. Somewhere I along the way I realized that I have stopped calling him Usagi and even letting that simple name go was painful.

 _"Takahiro ... I need Taka..."_

 _Sub..._

His words hurt so much, I was so mad and so distraught – I wasn't strong enough to help Akihiko, not needed. I'm still not what he wants, or needs.. I'm not my brother.

 _...Substitute_ …

 _Well I could get you the real thing if that's what you want_

I pressed the button on my phone and lashed out as I threw my phone at him and run, I didn't even wait for the elevator I sprinted down all the flights of stairs and burst out the door of the apartment building.

I ran and ran and ran, the tears kept streaming down my face and I was aware I knocked some people accidental, but it was to hard to see where I was going. The streets were blurry and the skies were getting dark.

I wanted to keep going, no idea where I was going I just had to put distance between us.. it not like I think I can outrun what ever had happened but right now I thought it was at least worth a try.

The skies opened up and it stated to pour down with rain. The streets started to clear of people and I was no longer the only one running, me from the pain and everyone else from the rain. At least the water from the sky hid the water falling from my eyes.

I slipped on the pavement and felt my ankle give out, I started to fall into the traffic when a strong hand garbed me and pulled me to safety. A car horn blew angry at the trouble I nearly caused them.

"Misaki, are you ok?" ah it was Akihiko brother, Haruhiko. I nodded and pulled out of his grip gently. I did not need to see another Usami now, or ever really.

"Thank... thank you" I mutter and hide my face from him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he moved the umbrella to cover both of us "your rather wet"

"Ha ha ha.. Yer I guess I am" I force a laugh, _please just leave me alone..._

"And your crying" he said sounding concerned

"Ha... the fall, it scared me" I was getting better at this lying thing, I went to step away from him when the pain in my ankle stopped me short and I fell on to him.

"Let me help you, my apartment is not far from here" I didn't sound like a request but an order, very Usami of him.

"Oh no no, I could not do that. Thank you again for saving me I will be on my way" it was instinct to move away from him... Akihiko would not like... _ah no, I don't care what he was thinking any more._

"Not a bother, and you cant really walk with that ankle"

"Ahh no I'm fine" I made to move away and the pain was intense but I could hobble away if I needed.

"Takahashi, I insist, nothing will happen I can guarantee. Let someone help you for a change" another order.

I nodded and we started to hobble away. Now that I was not crying my eyes out I looked up.

Wow I had ran quite far from our house, this was a very nice neighborhood with a lot of flash apartments and upscale restaurants.

His apartment was not as lavish as Akihiko's, but very tasteful and sparse. Not much of a life to the place, it felt more like a home from a brochure then something someone really lived in.

"Please sit here I will get a compress for your ankle" he gently lowered me to a chair and walked out of the room.

I took off my shoe to look at the damage, its tender to the touch, red and swollen.

He comes back in and knees on the floor and places a cold compress on the foot.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch... thank you Usami-san" that really is sore, but the cold is starting to help it feel better.

"Please call me Haruhiko" he moved his glasses back up his face in a nervous gesture.

"Ok, thank you Haruhiko" now he's making me nervous, he is so quite, and he is not touching me in any way that would suggest he;s gone back to his old ways... but his quite is so never wracking.

"How is Akihiko?, I saw he won another award for one of his dull books again" he asked me.

"Ah ha ha ha.. yes he did..." _oh no please don't ask me any more about him_

"Is he treating you well" he continues completely unaware of my pain.

"... y..ye..yes" I stutter, _please stop please stop_

"Your crying again, am I causing you pain?" he asks with concern, his hand starts to reach up towards my face but stops short.

But its too late, the tears have started again... now they will not stop, I lower my head and let my hair hide my eyes but its no use. He finally reaches me and places a hand on my shoulder in comfort.

"Do you need to go to the hospital, I didn't look that bad to me" he seams lost to my pain, not knowing what to do.

"No... no I'm ok" I manage to get out between slight sobs.

"Takahashi ... what's the matter, if Akihiko made you cry I will make him pay" he swears angrily.

I shake my head... _please... his name again, stop saying his name!_

"Misaki ..."

I just cry harder, the sobs are starting to shake my body and Haruhiko stays still with one hand on my shoulder unsure what but unwilling to let me know. I don't know if it makes me feel better or worse to have him here.

It felt like hours, before I started to feel hollow and numb from the pain and confusion of it all. My tears are now dry on my face and my eye hurt from crying for so long. They itch and I want to scratch at them. All though my breakdown the hand never left my shoulder, its not cold like his but it was a comfort no the less.

"I'm ok now, thank you again" I say but keep my head down.

"Takahashi ... please tell me what caused this" his hand lifts off my shoulder finally and it feels cold as he pulls away, the apartment has grown darker and he flicks a lamp on that is next to the chair I'm sitting in.

I blink at the sudden light and wish for it to be turned off, its not so embarrassing to cry in the dark.

I sit still and quite for a long time, but he doesn't move away or make any move towards me. He really is the opposite from his brother.

But I shake my head again, its no use I can't say anything.

"I'm calling him" he announces with so much malice in his voice and pulls out his cell phone.

"No no no, please he has enough to deal with" I beg and reach for his phone, but he just moves it out of my reach and scowls at me with his cold dark eyes and press the call button.

"Ok I will tell, please hang up" I beg again and look at him finally.

He presses the end button and nods "Tell me" another command, and I can't keep quite any longer.

"I found out he had a girlfriend in the past.. ha ha ha that's all... I just over reacted" I try to make light of it, no need to cause any more trouble between the brothers.

Haruhiko looks confused "Girlfriend...he only had one" he stars are me with wide dark eyes.

"Did you meet her, tell me its important" he's intense now, and places his hand back on my shoulder.

My heart feels hollow, I need to tell someone, but I really don't want to causes trouble for Akihiko.. even now, he has a lot to work out he doesn't need me.

"No I didn't meet her... I found out … some other way" I mutter, its getting cold in her and I shiver and he release me from his grip.

"I'm glad" Haruhiko places a blanket on me and gets up to turn the main lights and the heating on.

I pull the blanket up to my chin and look up to the ceiling in a lame attempt to not cry again. What was he glad about, that I found out his brother had a girlfriend... I guess it looks like I ran cause I found out he liked girls.

"Takahashi, this may be hard to tell me but please its important... did she talk to Akihiko" he pushes his glasses up his face again.. another nervous gesture from him... I'm getting worried.

"No..." I meet his eye and see such relief in his face it takes me by surprise, I kinda thought he hated his brother but now he seams so concerned for him.

"In fact... I found out she's dead... I think" I continued.

"Dead... thank the stars?" his shoulders slumped and his face relaxed – oh he looks a lot like his brother once he stops scowling.

What a strange thing to say to be happy someone dead, that is not something should be happy with.

"Ah ah, sorry Takahashi.. I know its not normal to be ok with someone dying... but she was... not good for him"

I nodded like I understood and moved the blanket as it was now rather warm. I moved the compress from my foot and felt it for stiffness, it still pained me and to be honest I don't think I will be able to run out of here any time soon.

He went to turn the kettle on in the kitchen "coffee?"

"Ah.. yes" I answer as I move fold the blanket and place the compress on the floor next to it.

"I will run you back to his apartment after coffee if you like" he says from the kitchen behind me.

I swallowed hard and fought to not cry again, I had just stopped I do not want to start again. Not when Haruhiko was being to nice to me... I didn't want to tell him any more... but how to I explain that I can't go home.

"Or if you like you can use a spare room here, I will drop you where you want to go in the morning" he said after I made no comment.

"That sounds good, thank you" I slumped in relief.. not that I was feeling total ok with staying with brother-Usami but for now its better then going home. I and didn't grab my wallet in my rush out the door.

"Huh... you really want to stay" he said as he collected the coffee cups he joined me in the living room once again.

"Takahashi... I don't want to hurt you any more then my useless brother has but I need to tell you something"

I hugged the cup of coffee close and nodded as I took a sip.

"First I want to be clear we are talking about the same person... was it Arashi Kira" he asked as he sat.

I nodded again and he took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry again, but you need to know something.. and if after you hear this you still don't want to go back to him I will take care of you" he put his glasses back on and sat backwards on his chair, crossed his legs and looked straight at me.

I could only nod again, his gaze was intense – dark eyes boring into mine, asking silently if I was ok with what he was going to say. I gripped the hot cup tighter and let the heat waver in front of my face.

"She was not really a girlfriend in the sense you are probably thinking, I would not say that any part of their short two year relationship romantic at all. It was not what you would call healthy at all... she was a monster to my younger brother." there was real pain in his voice now, and my panic meter started to raise.

"We never really got along as kids but no body wants to see something like that happen to his brother. " he paused and shifted on the chair and swapped the legs he had crossed, this was making him unconformable... in fact his is as much as I have ever heard him speak … ever...

"He was always such a sensitive child, always felt more then he would say and she took advantage of that. At fist she just started by taking small control of him.. like answering question for him, until soon he could not even finish a sentence with out her.

A few months later he just kind of stopped talking to other people and let her plan everything for him. He still lived at the main house during that time... I noticed he had 'clumsy moments' as he called it – but she was hurting him not just emotionally any more, it had turned physical - a black eye, a sprained wrist and pain in his eyes." it was hard to hear, but I desperately wanted to her more about him, I guess I had not closed my heart to him completely.

"Then he moved out with her and it got even worse. He paid for everything and anything she wanted. She took total advantage and total control of his life... he became a shell of himself, he would flinch if anyone around him moved to quickly... and always had fear in his eyes.

She is the reason we don't talk any more to be honest... when she put him in hospital with two broken ribs I finally I went behind his back and call in our father to get rid of her. Every one has a price and that vile woman's was high... it turns out that all she wanted from the start was his money. He was nothing more then a plaything to that con artist.. and she left him broken and unable to trust anyone for a very long time..." he paused and swollen more coffee, took a deep breath as he came out of his memories.

"It was your older bother who finally let him heal, I could no longer talk to him – I was the one that knew he was being abused but I left it to late and he was gravely hurt because I delayed and didn't act, I knew she was bad from the start and I should have removed her from her earlier. Ever since I have been trying to protect him from afar – chasing off any one that got close to him with" he took his glasses off again and rubbed his eyes.

"Please forgive me selfishness at being happy that woman is no longer able to hurt him"

I nodded, I need to tell him what's happening... what if this kid was part of the con, the kid was the one that told us his mother was dead... but what if she wanted to hurt him again. All this time I really thought he was out to get back at his brother, but he was protecting him. Trying to keep him safe. I had to tell Haruhiko

"Haruhiko can you... can you check.." I started but could not finish the request, how do I ask for him to check some one I really dead?

"Please excuse me, I need to call father" he stood and took out his phone and went to move out of the room.

I grab his arm as he passes "Wait... there more to it"

"What do you mean, did you said she's dead I need father to check that information" he seams angry again, the scowl is back on his face.

"There is a child" I throw my hand over my mouth... I don't mean to tell him but it just came out

"WHAT... a child?" he all but yells at me, snaps his phone closed and leans down next to me.

I nod and tears drip in to my now cold coffee I move it to the arm rest of the chair before I drop it.

"It's his... I saw the birth certificate..." this all I can get out, I pull my legs up to my chest and drop my head onto my knees and just shut out all pain as I cry in to my jeans...

 _Please... please... please don't make me say anything else_...

I'm so tired I want it to stop.. I want to sleep.. and I want it to be a dream...

"Come, I will show you the spare bedroom, you can rest" his voice is gentle and it cox's me out of my cocoon.

I let him pull me up and I lean on him as he takes me slowly shuffling to a bedroom, lies me down and pulls the door almost closed leaving a little bit of light to reach the room.

I just let my pain embrace me as I curl into a tiny ball and loudly cry into the pillow and wish for sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

It took entirely too long to get to his apartment, the taxi seamed to miss all the green lights. I hastily threw the money at the driver and got out of the car with out the change.

I run quickly out of the rain and punched the entry code, clicked the up button on the elevator over and over and over until the dam doors opened. The ride up took entirely too long too!

I knocked and pressed the door buzzer urgently, I hope Misaki was not home. Akihiko sounded like he was broken when he called me.

If I had to face that women I would punch her in the face, be dammed that she's a female if anyone deserves a punch to the face it's her!

 _Come on... Answer the door!_

"Akihiko" I yelled urgently "Misaki" _come on!_

The door swung open and I saw Akihiko's back as he walked away from the door.

"He's not here" He said as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

"Usagi" I called as I stepped into the unlit dark living room, I flicked the lights on and took a look around.

The house felt weird, there was half eaten non-iced cake in the kitchen bench, plates left out, a glass and first aid kit in the living room and paper on the floor.

"Usagi" I tried again and this time he turned to me.

 _He was not holding it together at all._

He looked even more broken then last time I had to come running because of her.

I reached out to him and he crumbled into my arms. I just held him as he leaned into me, no tears fell on my shoulder, they never did.

His breath became uneven at the strain to not cry starred to take its toll. I let him just be held and conformed by me.

I looked around his apartment looking for signs that she had been here or worse... was she still here.

To be honest I had actually forgotten all about her, Misaki was doing so well at Uni, I was so happy with my wife and our wonderful child.

And it appeared that having Misaki around has was good for Akihiko.

He pulled away from me and I let him as he made his way to the sofa and sit down looking defeated. I picked up the papers that he just walked over and placed them on the coffee table face down.

 _That looks like a... Birth certificate.. I'm sure I had Misaki's at my house.. What's it doing here..._

I pick up the papers again and go to look at them.

"She's dead" those simple words distract me. I look at him in shock, paper forgotten in my hand.

"She's dead" I repeat like a simpleton.

He nods and leans back with his head on the back of the sofa. He looks towards Misaki's room and frowns, looks at me with hurt lavender eyes and pulls one arm over them effectively shutting me out.

"I thought you would be alright with that, Usagi what's going on? You are not OK"

He's ignoring me, great now he's shut him self away again, pretending he can't feel, pretending he's a dam robot!

"Where's Misaki?" I ask knowing it will get something out of him, he's rather attached to him and I feared my brother was becoming a bit of a crutch for him.

Another reason I wanted him to move out. If they were still fond of each other once some distance was between them then maybe... just maybe... I would deal with the signs I have been seeing.

Misaki's is so eager please people around him, I don't want him swept in to a life he can't be sure he wants.

"Gone" He doesn't move his arm and it was hard to hear his whisper of a reply as rain really starts pelts down outside.

"Gone?... Usagi please help me understand what's going on" I need him to look at me. I hear his phone go off in the other room and I go to get it but it shuts off and I sit down.

"Usagi..." I almost plea with him.

 _Come on talk to me_

"He left when he found out about that" He said again not moving his hand from his face. He used his other hand to point at the paper in my hand.

I finally looked at it... It was indeed a birth certificate. But i't's not Misaki's like I first thought.

 _Child's full name : Arashi Hibaki_

 _Mother: Arashi Kira , Profession: Home Maker_

 _Father: Akihiko Usami, Profession: Writer_

I re-read it three times before I really believed it. What the hell... a child he knew about it and never told me!

"What the FUCK Akihiko! " I don't know where the anger came from but I rise from my seat and started to pace. Shocked that I cussed at him, shocked he had hidden this from me... his best friend!

He put both arms over his head now, my anger was not helping.

 _Ah maybe he didn't know about this kid either._

I took a deep breath, it didn't help... I grabbed his half filled glass and drink the rest, leaving the ice alone in the bottom of the glass... OK that helped.

I sat next to him and leaned close and let our shoulders touch, mimicking him I threw my head over the back of the sofa too and pulled my hands through my hair.

 _Time to get clam Takahiro, he needs you._

"Sorry man... just took me by surprise... want to start from the top?" I asked calmly.

He let his hands drop to his legs and looked at them uselessly. At least he's not hiding any more its a start. I wait for him to be ready to tell me.

"I had nearly forgotten her, I was happy and doing so well... I had Mia.." He stopped him self at my brothers name "I was happy Takahiro" he repeated.

I'm nod and nudge his shoulder again to encourage course him to keep taking.

"Yesterday... Just yesterday I heard her name for the first time in seven years..." He turned to look up at Misaki's room again.

"I found out she has been dead for six months... that should be the end of it all right?" He sounded like he was almost begging me to make it true.

I nodded again and followed his gaze up to my brothers room...

 _Oh lord! I get it now... Misaki's not here and I think I know why but I need him to keep talking to me._

"She stayed away like the contract said, never once coming near or contacting any of us after the settlement..." He looked back at me. Moved his eyes away and went to grab his drink. Refilled it when he realized I had emptied it earlier.

"You have to believe me Takahiro, I didn't know about him... " he moves his glass in circles letting the remainder of the ice clink against the walls of the glass before he fills it again and throws the whole thing back.

 _How many have you had Akihiko?_

So much depression hung in the air I could bottle the dam stuff. He was quite for a long time and I itched to fill the salience but stayed quite.

"We... " he filled his glass again but just held onto it and looked into the amber liquid into like it could solve so many problems. He cleared his throat, I could tell he was forcing all of this out but I knew he needs me to hear it.

"We... she...only a few, and I never... she... always by force..." He couldn't get the words out in any kind of order, I knew he felt so much shame over what she let him do, but I never once looked down at him. Never once thought it was his fault.

It was a spiral of confusion that he could not break out of, if anything it was my fault for taking so long to notice.

I put my hand on his arm making him flinch.

"It's OK, you don't need to say it. I know what she did. She's gone Usagi" He flinched again and put his glass down untouched.

That women forced him to do anything she wanted, for the most part it was to spend money on her and I knew she never felt anything like love for him. I'm not even convinced she was attracted to him at all.

But when they moved in together she starred to demand more from him when he didn't respond like she wanted she would punish him. A black eyes here, a slap when he answered, a thump when he did... then she started to forced him...

I reached and took his drink off the table and threw it back.

He looked at me in shock. Guess I don't normally drink, but I need the rum to burn down to my stomach before the guilt could settle in. If I was not so wrapped up in Misaki at the time, I would have noticed sooner and maybe able to have stopped the whole thing happening.

I was now so glad Misaki was not here, he did not need to know any of this. He looks up to Usagi so much that I don't want his view of him shattered.

"Do you know how she died?" Not sure why this was not important but I needed to know how she went.

"Drug over dose it seams" He said with out any pain in his voice.

"This... Hibaki, how did you get this birth certificate?" I really was confused, was someone blackmailing him again? Using this to extract even more money from the Usami family? Just cause it has his name down as the father on the certificate dose not necessarily mean he IS the father.

Again he closed up, I could see his mask settle back on his face, he's trying not to feel again.

 _It never works Usagi, you always feel too much._

"He's here" He said in the same robotic tone as before and looked towards Misaki's bedroom again.

"Here! As in here this house here?" I ask dumbly.

I wanted to run to that room and confirm it with my own eyes and I wanted to erase all Usagi's heartache...

I also really wanted to know where Misaki is... I looked at my watch it's only two pm. He will be fine, he has friends he can go to. If I don't hear from him by five I will start looking for him. He's a good kid, he will contact me or Manami. And I guess hes not really a kid anymore.

He nodded again and leaned back in the sofa putting his arms back over his eyes.

 _Ahh... So that's all I'm going to get is it Usagi?_

I looked at the birth certificate again, he's only six and a half, she would have been pregnant at the time we got him away from her and she got her money. She really did every well if she didn't come bringing this bundle of pain to his door earlier.

 _Ah.. no, it is not the child's fault, that thought was unfair._

I put certificate down on the coffee table face down and stood.

"Misaki's room" Was all he said as he felt me get off the couch.

I touched his should lightly as I left the living room.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

He went to check out the shame that 'came home to roost', as the saying goes.

Takahiro is here, like before he came when I needed him, that was important. I was still OK, still a friend. It felt better just telling someone, someone that knew my past. He would help me work this out... I hope.

"Fuck!" I said and pulled my hands down angrily over my face. I need a smoke!

I patted my pocket I normally keep them and remember they were last in the office. I look up to the closed doors and growl. I feel like I have moved from sorrow and self pity to sheer anger in the last two minutes and I don't really know how to process the rapid mood shift.

 _Fine! I will go get them myself._

I stand and instantly regret it... OK... I have drunk more then I thought as I start to wobble a little on my feet.

I blink a few times to clear my eyes and stop leaning against the couch to see if I can even stand on my own, how pathetic!

I can do this! I have been walking for years... One step in front of the other.

Taking more concentration then it really should I made it to the bottom of the stairs.

 _What was I... Ah smokes... Office... I remember now._

I pull myself up by the railing and almost trip as the stairs suddenly stop. Open my office door and look for the smokes... Ah in the trash... weird I grab them and my forgotten phone and I make my way careful down stairs.

I look for the panda ash try, can't find it and give up.

 _I need air anyway._

I open the sliding door to the balcony and close it behind me, I lean against the glass so I will not get wet from the rain I open the packet...

 _Ahh dam it! They are crushed. Doesn't the matter anyway I promised myself I would give up for Misaki..._

"Fuck" I say again. I hurl the crushed packet into the rain in anger.

I destroyed my loves world! He trusted me and I let him down! How is his brother even able to stand me. Maybe he won't once he knows how much I hurt his kid brother!

"Fuck" It's starting to become my favorite word.

What do I do? How can you fix something like this? How could my life go from perfect to such a mess in a matter of hours!

I bang my head heavily against the glass door and try to shut down again, letting the sound of the rain drown out all other thoughts.

My phone chimed quietly in my pocket telling me I had missed a call... _Misaki!_

I pulled it out and looked at who the call was from.. That bastard Haruhiko what the fuck dose he want.

Ah that word again, I guess I really am found of it now, it's satisfying using it really it conveys so much.

I want to throw my phone out into the rain to join the ruined smoke packet. But stop myself, what if he knows where Misaki is, he's taken him before, he's never called to gloat about it. I guess the time is right for him now...

I take a look back inside, no sign of Takahashi just yet I better be quick.

I hit 'call' and don't have to wait more then three rings before I hear his smug voice.

"Akihiko"

"Haruhiko" I mutter, feeling the darkness seep into my words and my eyes narrow.

Neither of us speaks next and the rain is all I can hear.

"Misaki's here" He breaks first and he sounds so dam smug. But I sigh in relief at least he's not walking the streets confused or in the dam arms of the Manga writer.

I want to demand he brings him back immediately.

I hear Takahiro come down the stairs calling my name and remember why Misaki's not mine any more.

"Is he OK?" I can't help myself from asking, and put a hand to my mouth to stop the painful sound I know will escape if I let it.

"He will be fine, I have him with me at my town apartment, he's sleeping now, but Akihiko he is hurt. You should have never let him know about her" He sounds so mad at me.

But at least he told me where they are and I am glad he is safe but it bloody well doesn't mean I want this jerk to have him!

I nod, I know he can't see me but I can't move my hand away from my mouth.

"How long have you know about this child brother" his voice is so sharp and can hear him judging me.

I may hate him now but he was my big brother once, someone who I could relay on to do all the hard jobs father gave us. Before he betrayed me and started to take anyone I got near away from me.

"Only a day brother" I close my eyes and growl back at him! How dear he accuse me of knowing and hiding this! I would never device Misaki like that.

Ah it dawned on me... _I guess I have all ready have deceived him!_

I go hung up as he was saying nothing, but hear him say something as I pull the phone away and replace it to my ear.

"What?" I growl back into the phone, I have to go Takahiro is inside looking for me.

The door buzzer goes off and I turn my head over my shoulder as I watch him go to answer it.

"He had to know Akihiko, father is most likely on his way to yours now" I hear him say.

"YOU BASTARD! You did it again! You got father involved" I yelled down the phone, I was gripping it so tight it was going to snap it in two.

"Again! It was the only..." I ended the call abruptly as the old man walked into my house, I did not need to hear what ever else he had to say.

I threw daggers at the man through the glass as I turned fully to see him walk in the door.

He had not seen me yet but he looked so bloody smug as he dropped his white scarf over the sofa and folded his jacket neatly to sit next to it.

"Fuck" Well at least I feel sober now!

He's going to start with his 'holy then thou rubbish' the minute I walk through that door. I look at my phone, quickly I text Takahiro _"Misaki's safe, he's with Haruhiko, I can get his address for you as soon as father leaves"_

I should really go get the address first and left him go while I deal with father. But even if I feel sober, I'm not and I can't deal with him alone. Selfish again.

Takahashi looks down at his phone as he gets my message and smiles at me and nods my way. That did it, father saw him nod towards me and he turns to meet my eyes through the glass.

 _Show time!_

I open the door and step back inside, the room smells of expensive rum and sweet chocolate cake. You would think this would be two comforting smells but they just clash against each other and it's smells too sickly for my liking.

"Get out" I say to my father and storm over to the kitchen.

I start to throw away the left over cake and Takahiro comes to join me clean up and he turns on the coffee machine.

 _Coffee, that's a good idea... Not as good as more rum but... safer._

"Son, I'm worried about you, Takahashi would you mind leaving us alone" Father ask politely. Takahiro goes to leave, but I grab his arm gently as he passes me.

"You are the one that needs to leave, he stays" I growl at the older man.

How dear he come in here and act like this is his house and try and 'handle' me!

"Akihiko, it's really OK I will go check on..." He looks towards the bedroom and I let him go, glad he's not leaving the apartment, just the room.

Both father and I watch him walk upstairs and I turn to finish making the coffee as the door shuts to Misaki's room. But father notices where I was looking and what room Takahiro went into. I think we may have tipped our hand. Father is too quick and calculating not to have worked out we are hiding something.

I need to keep my hands busy or I might strangle this man next to me with his own dam scarf.

"The younger was not enough son? Moved back to his brother" He says baiting me.

I slam the fridge door hard as I get out the milk, the bottles rattle inside the door at the force.

"STOP IT" I yell, why dose he do this all the time, why will he have to push me till I explode. I was fine before he got here, I had started to shut down and not feel, I want that again.

He leans against the bench and finally nods, he looks sad but content! Bastard!

I slam his coffee down I front of him and watch in satisfaction as he is forced to quickly move out of the way as hot coffee spills on the bench right where is arm was a second ago.

"You have till I drink this to talk then get the fuck out" He's eyes went wide at my swear word but he took his coffee anyway.

"Look son, I really am worried. You bottle up your emotions and no one can break through"

 _What he hell is he talking about, he doesn't know me at all!_

"Haruhiko called me, and I checked she is indeed dead as young Misaki told him" He continued like it didn't even matter if I wanted to hear him or not. I loathed that he even said my Misaki's name let alone knew where he was before I did.

"Fine" I mutter as I put the drink to my mouth, bloody hell I think rum would have been better then this stuff. I don't let my self loose eye contact with him, if I look away he's won!

"Good to hear your so pleased son" He mocks and I feel my left eye start to twitch as I suppress the need to throw this hot drink in his face.

I take another sip to let him know his time is ticking away.

 _I will be done shortly, hurry up old man._

I want him gone, I can't believe I thought I even wanted his help only a few hours ago. This man is not happy until he controls every dam part of my life.

He moves his mug around the bench and finally pushes it away, I can tell by the look on his face he has decided something.

"What do you want!" I growl at him.

"Akihiko, son. I can't confirm if this child really is yours until the registered office opens Monday, and even then it's going to take a few days" His voice sounds so calm like he's at a bloody board meeting! I betray myself and my eyes flick back to the closed bedroom door upstairs.

I honestly don't know what to say and I place my mug on the bench and wrap one arm around my middle, then drop it as I feel my fingers move towards the old scar.

But it's too late father saw where my eyes went, I broke eye contact first, I let my fear show, just a tiny bit but it's enough for him to latch on to.

Old patterns are hard to break and I want to lash out and make him know I'm not weak.

"Why even help now father?" I bait him, it's dangerous ground but I keep going anyway.

"Feeling guilt over your own illegitimate child?" I say knowing its the wrong thing to say as soon as it's left my mouth.

I don't even see it coming, the slap to my face is loud in the empty room and it's more shocking then hurtful. I'm paralyzed, I have never been slapped by my father before.

"That is ENOUGH" He scolds me as he puts his offending hand in his pocket, at least he looks shamed by his action.

The slap took the wind from my sails and I have lost my nerve, the facade is too hard to keep up. The anger is gone and the pain is back. I have been slapped before, not by him, but may times before.

I move a hand to my face, refuse to touch the side of my face he slapped and covered my mouth instead. I can't meet fathers gaze.

My other hand starts to shake a little and I give up pretended and let it wrap around my middle and worry that dam scar.

Father moves towards me and I instinctively flinch away and I shake my head. Lord in heaven I feel like I'm 25 again!

"Son" He whispers, as if only just noticing his error.

I nod at him and keep my eyes on the ground, she would not hurt me sometimes if I'm quite, I will keep quite.

"Sorry son" he gently touches the arm over my middle and I let it drop so he has no excuse to keep touching me.

"Akihiko, the kids is here right"? He asks softly, trying not to scare me again.

I give him another feeble nod.

"Look, I think it's best if I take him for now" He's being gentle and trying to take my troubles away. Part of me knows he's doing the only thing he knows how to do, taking command.

But I'm not sure how I feel now, I was so angry at him moments ago and now I'm back to being a scared 25 year old who has been abused and put in hospital cause he didn't know how to deal with anything in his own.

Father starts to move away, and looks over his shoulder at me as he walks up the stairs towards the closed bedroom door.

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and nod my agreement again, he can take him. I have to focus and force myself to not feel the past. Quickly I need to build my defenses back up.

I look up to follow his accent to the second floor.

 _Dam the door is not closed... or empty._

Takahiro stands barring the way with a deep frown on his face, he's staring at me. Just around his right leg I see frightened golden eyes glisten with tears, his little mouth also set into a frown.

The child's eyes moves from me to the older man walking up the stairs. Oh lord how much did he see? Did he see the slap? That's got to set his panic buttons off.

I see him hide his fear quickly and angrily brush any evidence at his tears away with his sleeve. The gesture so much like Misaki's I can't watch any longer. I just turn around and put my back to the balcony, I need to shut down this hurts too much!

"Akihiko!" I hear Takahiro growl at me. But I refuse to turn back to them. I hear a shuffle and angry foot steps storm down the stairs. Takahashi by the sound of them.

"What are you doing... Usagi he needs you" He angry whispers in my face.

I shake my head at him and keep building my walls.

"Father will look after him, he will be better off" I say what everyone is thinking.

"Liar" He hisses at me, wow I must be pissing him off!

"What do I know about a children Takahiro?" I awkwardly point behind me. "Hell he might not even be mine"

What is his problem? I hurt is brother I lied to him and I deceived him, how was I even able to look after a kid!

"Turn around and you tell me that kids better with out you" He growls and forced me to turn.

My eyes go wide in shock, the kid is not being physically pushed down the stairs but he might as well be! His head is low and I see tears run down his pink cheeks. The little bear he carries is being crushed by my fathers big hands as he storms behind the kid forcing him forward as he's only inches behind the kid. The child has to choose to keep moving or letting he old man actually push him.

The anger from my father is palatable as he slowly follows the kid down to the main room.

This kid... Hiabki... He's had enough heart ache, enough abuse, enough orders, and enough choices made against his will.

As they finally both make it to the lower levels, his golden eyes plea with me, this kid who has been afraid of me since they moment we locked eyes is now begging me because he's more afraid of the man at his back.

Father puts his coat and scarf back on and doesn't bother to give me even a glance. He grabs the kids hand ignoring the fear he's causing and starts to walk off with him in tow.

"No.." His tiny voice can just be heard over the loud steps my father is forcing them to take to get out the door.

My walls break down with that one simple word. I don't think I want him gone.

 _No... No... No..._

"No" I say to my father, he stops and looks back at me over his broad shoulders with a questioning look in his face, daring me to say it again.

"No!" I say louder, I suddenly do not want this kid to leave with him. He's not going to hurt him but he will make this problem disappear. This kid will never be seen by a Usami ever again.

I suddenly don't want that!

"Father, no he stays!" I sound so sure this time, I move quickly to stand with my father and take the kids other hand making the poor child into some sort of twisted tug of war.

Lord he's tiny! And instincts kick in that I didn't even know I had. I need to protect this kid from fathers mind games and controlling ways.

The old man looks at me hard for a long time.

"You had better be sure of the choice you are making Akihiko!" He never once gives the kid a glance as he drops the child's hand and passes him his teddy bear forceful.

"I am" I assure him.

"Very well" He says as he looks at Takahashi and they share a odd look. But I can't ask him what's it was about as the man was all ready out the door.

He stops and turns before he closes the outer door, smiles and I think I hear him say he loves me as he closes the door shutting us all in.

I look down at the kids hand, slowly let it go and look at Takahiro, he looks revealed and I feel confused.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

I am awoken by a muffled voice on the other side of the bedroom door. Who's is it? It's not Akihiko's... nor Niichan's... Oh I remember. Not a dream then.

I cuddle back down and pull the blanket back over my head just let me hide a little longer.

I squirm, _ok bladder you win!_

I really can't keep hiding in here anyway, it will not make anything go away. And I really need to go to the bathroom.

Moving the blanket off me just makes that need more urgent. I try to flatten my hair down and straighten my clothes before I step out of the bedroom. My sore ankle flairs in pain and it forces me hold the walls and limp awkwardly. The floor is cold under my one un-socked foot.

Haruhiko looks at me urgently as I enter and mouth 'bathroom' he points to a door and stops talking. His anger is firmly etched on his face as who ever is on the other end of the line starts to talk loudly.

I shut the door not wanting to eavesdrop on top of imposing on him.

I flush and wash my hands as I stare at my self in the mirror. I don't think the sleep did me any good, I still have puffy red eyes and there is a crease marks from the pillow on my forehead.

I splash water on my face and lightly slap my cheeks to wake myself up.

I hear Haruhiko raise his voice again, can't make out the words but I'm glad that tone is not used in me. Scary! OK! I can do this! Go out there and smile, he's helped you and I have taken enough of his time.

I mentally shake myself and wait at the door to hear if he has finished his telephone call. I don't want to get in the way of his work.

It's been quite for a while now, I limp out to the living area and stand leaning on the chair back with my foot slightly raised.

Ahh what do I say now? What do you say to the brother of the man who upset your entire world in the time span of one day?

"Thank you" That's all I could think to say, a lame thank you.

 _Good one Misaki!_

"Your welcome" He readjusts his glasses and puts his phone in his pocket.

"Feel better?" He asks, he sounds like he has no idea what to say either.

I nod and utter my thanks again... Ahh awkward!

"Please sit, I will look at your foot"

I nod and sit, for lack of anything else to do. The gears in my head just aren't working I can't process what he told me earlier today.

He lifts my foot gently and I see his shoulders sag, he seams more comfortable when he has something to do. Some how I can't see him just lazying about like Akihiko, this man would always have to be busy all ways pushing himself and others to be faster and better.

He takes the throw cushions from the sofa and places them under my foot so it's raised a bit.

"Wait here, I will bandage it for you"

I nod again.

He comes back and busies him self with attending to my foot.

"She really is dead, I had father check and she unfortunately died of a drug over dosed" He says to my foot, still not looking at me.

"Ok" I mutter, I'm not even sure I care to hear anything about that women.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way... well I'm sorry you had to find out at all really" Again he talks to my foot as his hands that are busy still wrapping my foot.

 _Mmhhh me too Haruhiko me too._

He's done with my foot but stays kneeling as he keeps holding on to it.

"I told Akihiko your here. Please think hard before you make any long lasting decision" He says quietly and lets my foot lay back down on the pillows.

He told him I'm here, that's a bit of a shock. Was that who he was yelling at before?

Well at last he's not going to worry about me now, but finding out I'm with his older brother is not going to make him any calmer... but he knows where I am now..maybe he will come..

Ahhh really I need to stop thinking I'm the only thing that's going to effect his world now. How vain and selfish of me.

I am so used to being the most important person to him. I feel jealous that I'm not his any more, but that's my issue not his. He has more to deal with then a stupid 22 year old who can't even admit that he's in love with him. He's not going to come collect me this time.

I honesty thought it would be my brother who caused us to split, not .. well not this! Guess I don't need to worry about Takahiro now, it's rather clear what needs to happen.

I will move out and let him build a life with Hibiki. I child should have his father around, not that Niichan didn't do a good job in trying to fill both mother, father and brother role but I still felt the lack of one, and Hibiki is even younger then I was when I lost my parents. I was fortunate and I had Niichan who could look after me and hold me at night as I cried.

This kid didn't have any of that, and if I didn't back away I'm sure Akihiko would not even try to give him a father figure. I will get out of in his way.

Haruhiko looks up at me, waiting for a reaction or maybe more tears.

Tears are more like me... but I feel none prick my eyes, I do feel a bit 'outside of the situation' really. Like a outsider, hmm guess I am.

His dark eyes look at me trying to calculate if I'm even listening.

"Ok, I will" I answer so as not to worry him but I don't even remember what he asked me just a few seconds ago.

He packs up the medical kit and stands looking uncertain. Places it on the coffee table, puts a hand over his mouth much like Akihiko often dose when he's trying to make a difficult decision.

"Want me to drop you at your brothers house" He finally says.

"Yes please" I guess the offer to stay is now off the cards.

I'm not sure I'm ready to see little Mahiro or Niichan yet. I will have to fake it even more then I am here, but Haruhiko has taken care of me enough.

"Give me a few minutes and I will be ready" He says as he packs up the medical kit and starts to tidy up the living room quickly.

I give up trying to put my shoe back on my foot, it's not going to fit with this bandage anyway.

Haruhiko is back with his keys in his hands and I let him pull me up, the bandage helps and it's good that he's not insisting that I need to be carried like his younger brother would have but it makes me sad too.

We get into his black car with out a word to each other we pull out of his under ground parking spot. He looks at me as we stop at a traffic light.

"What's your brother address?" He asks.

I give it to him and watch as he types it in his GPS and shuts off the voice navigation.

24mins, that's as long as the GPS displays tell me the journey will be, 24mins to collect myself and put a mask back on.

It's not raining any more but the sky is dark and heavy with clouds that promise more rain will come. Out side the street lights are on and many of the cars have lights on too, but the quite and dark inside the car makes me feel secure.

"Thank you again" I say to him.

"Your welcome... Misaki please do think before you act" He caution's again.

"I will" I answer automatically.

He sighs heavily and I hear him make a displeased sound.

I turn to look at my reflection out the window and just listen to the click-clack of the car blinker as we wait for the turning signal to turn green.

I stare at my eyes in the window for a long time. It appears like someone else looking back at me and judging me for abandoning Akihiko when it got too hard for me, the eyes are right to judge me. I did just run away but it is difficult and confusing.

I frowned at this window stranger and turn so I didn't have to look at the eyes, what dose my reflection know anyway!

We turn smoothly and carry on our way.

"Misaki?" He asks and I hmmm a reply.

"You passed by the way... your the only one that has" He says, passed what?

I look at him confused.

"I have offered every other person attached to Akihiko the same thing I offered you" He's looking forward towards the traffic but his eyes flick to meet mine for a second to see if I'm listening.

"I offer to set them up with a comfortable life, pay all bills for them and see if they are willing to just leave my brother for the offer of money - the gold digger test my father calls it" He smirked to him self, then sobers up as he sees my shock.

"Not only did you pass, you mean so much to him that he came to find you. With the others he's just lets them go, like it was all too much effort. In some cases I wondered if he even noticed them around him to begin with. But not you. He fought for you" He puts the wipers on as it starts to rain again.

I just keep looking at him, it was a test... some kind of trail all of that drama years ago was due to some sort of twisted test? We stop at lights again and he turns to face me a bit, capturing me with his dark gaze.

"That's when I actually started to fall for you, your the first to turn my offer down. To turn me down actually" He said as he angled himself back around as we started moving again.

He was quite and I turned to look at my reflection in the window again. What do you say to that kind of confession? I have all ready turned him down and I know I don't feel the same way I do with Akihiko but to hear him admit when he started to have feeling for me makes me feel... weird.

We finally pull over to the side of the road, I look past my face staring back at me in the car windows and notice we are outside my Niichan's house. The front light is on and the living room lights glow at me in a welcoming way. That can not have been 24 minutes!

I reach for the door handle but the cars locked, I turn to him but he's not unlocking the doors.

He touches my arm and waits for me to meet his eyes.

"Please think about it properly, I honestly haven't seen my brother so well adjusted before you came along. Even before the whole girlfriend mess, you are good together. Don't give it up over fear of the unknown " He says to me in the darkness of the car I can almost believe him that I was good for Akihiko. Or is it that I just want to believe him.

I nod and can't say anything or my mask will not stay in place and the tears will start to fall again.

I hear the doors unlock and I try the handle again. Trying to compose myself before I step out to the happy family in the warm house in front of me.

"I will help you to the door, hang on" He says in a rush thinking that's what I'm stalling over.

But I can't handle him and his soft words any longer. I take a deep breath and I open the door and rush, as fast as my foot will let me, to the door.

The rain is coming down hard now and by the time I reach the front porch my bandage is soaked. Harukiho is just getting out of the car and ducks back in out of the rain as he see's I have all ready made it to the door.

Again I stall, not pressing the buzzer but I feel the car behind me still silently waiting my decision. If I don't hurry he will come and get me, I know he will let me get back in the car and hide from my fears but time for that is over.

I press the buzzer and hear the car pull away, I have made my choice... I think...

The sunny motherly face of Manami appears and I hear the tiny elephant foot steps of my baby nephew.

I place a smile on my face that is miles away from reaching my eyes and I open my arms to accept the hug I'm going to get from Manami, effectively avoiding my sister in laws eyes.

"My Missky" Little Mahiro squeaks over and over till he reaches me and I scoop him up.

"Rain make wet" He says as he pats my wet shoulders and then touches my face with his little hands.

"Down down down" He demands as I hobble into the house and Manami shuts the door behind me. I let him go and he's off running towards the living room in a rush.

I feel Manami put a hand on my shoulder and she gives me a little squeeze in support. A all mighty bang comes from the living room area and she rushes past me to find out what the toddler has gotten him self into now.

Taking a few deep breaths I follow behind her.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I expect to hear crying from the living room but it's giggles that escape Mahiro as he stands in a mountain of blocks that not long ago was a tall building.

Thank godness, Niichan is not home. I'm totally not ready to talk to him yet, he's most likely still at Usami's house anyway. I know he would have gone over if Akihiko asked. He was his best friend and would help him at the drop of a hat.

"My Missky play" He demands and scoops up blocks as I hobble in to the room.

"Oh your hurt, please please sit down" Manami says and rushes me to the sofa.

"Ahh no Mahiro. Uncle had a owie, be gentle " She says to little Mahiro as his little face turns concerned as he spots the now rather damp bandage on my foot.

"Bad owie, Missky sad" The toddler comments.

"Yer it's a bad owie, I fell when I was running" I say to him.

"I run" He squeaks in delight and gets up to show me how he runs to the kitchen door way and back his little baby arms pumping energetically as he comes back. How could he go from walking to running in a few months! He's the best baby ever.

"Good running, but don't run inside ok" I say to him gently.

He nods and walks off to the front door, I see Manami sigh and get up to go collect him.

She brings him back in her arms.

"No uncle Usami is not coming today" She's is saying to him and he frowns on confusion and points to me on the couch, clearly showing that I'm here.

"But Missky miss" he says in confusion.

I smile and take him from her arms and sit him in my lap. He gives me big hugs and I'm glad I am here now.

"Owie " He says again and points to my foot and I nod.

"Let me get a clean bandage for that" Manami says as she walks away.

Mahiro squirms and I let him down so he can follow his mother.

I close my eyes and relax into the sofa, it was a very good idea to come here. He's a cute distraction from the still spinning thoughts on my head.

They both come back in the room with little Mahiro holding the bandage proudly as he climbs back on to my lap.

His mother arranges her self in front of my foot and starts to unwind the wet bandage. It's kinda nice to be the one that's being looked after for a change. I hold Mahiro tight as he leans over to inspect what his mother is doing.

"Missky owie" He comments again and hands the new bandage to his mother to start wrapping it back up.

"Unagi make owie better" He says with so much conviction.

I shake my head and smile sadly at him.

"But Missky love Unagi" He says puzzled like It's only common sense that the one you love makes owies go away.

I have to blink a few times and swallow before I can answer, how are kids able to cut through all the crap and call out the truth like that.

Manami looks up at me to read my expression to those little words he son has just confessed for me and I don't know what to say.

But she saves me the trouble and smiles and nods at me.

"Mahiro sweetie, want to have a bath after this, you can show Uncle Misaki your new Duckies" She covers for my silence and the distraction works. The toddler is back to bouncing about on the sofa waiting for his mother to be done. I let him down as she finishes up as he inspects what she's done closely.

"Don't touch owie" He says to me and he's off again, this time I hear the bath toys start to fall in the empty bathtub.

Manami offers her hand to help me up and she lets me lean on her as we go to the bathroom to check on her son.

"Can you watch him while I get his pajamas ready" She asks as she turns the taps on to start the bath filling.

I have little ducks and pandas stuffed into my hands by Mahiro who is busy collecting them all from the floor and handing them to me as I sit on the side of the tub.

"If I don't get swamped with bath toys first, sure" I chuckle a little.

She chuckles too and walks away to his bedroom.

He really is a delightful child. He starts to tug at his clothes and look at the water filling the bath, but I want Manami to check the temperature before I put him in.

"Where's your new duck" I ask as a distraction. He bounds to the other side of the room and snatched it up and brings it to me to show off.

It's a little yellow duck with a pinstriped jacket, tie and top hat. It's rather cute, he hands it to me and looks for another one as his mother comes back in.

She checks the water as she turns it off and starts to strip him down so he can get in the bath. He takes his new duck from me and starts splashing in the water.

It's nice just sitting here and watching him play as his mother tries to wash his hair with out him noticing and demanding she stop.

"Ok mister! Bed time" He starts to pout but she stops him with a kiss to the forehead.

"Uncle Misaki can read you one story then its off to sleep for you cause your Uncle Missky has some explaining to do to mummy" She explains to the toddler.

 _Oh cheap trick Manami._

It works, the kid is reaching for me as I get a book and sit in the chair in his room. I look at her and give in, she's going to want answers from me, it will be easier while Niichan is not here but I still dread it.

In the end I read the same story three times over before he's finally starting to yawn his mother cames in, lifts him up off me and put him in to his crib.

I quietly walk out as she settles him to sleep.

I have been on my foot too much and its starting to ache, I flop on to the sofa and wait for her to come out to the living room. Where do I even start, how do I summaries it with out her alert flag going up.

 _Hey, so the man I have been having relations with for the last four years - sorry for not telling you by the way - well he's not as in to me as I thought in fact he may still be after your husband. On top of all that he has a love child...Ha ha stupid of me right to think he would like me, silly me I guess I got tricked._

Ahhhh no that's going to hit all her flags...

 _I decided to move back in like Niichan has been asking me, after all Usami is a busy man and I'm in the way. I like the train so to commute a hour each way to uni is perfect I can study with out even noticing._

Ahh no she will see right through that.

Ok I can do this... Start with each piece of this stupid puzzle.

 _Step One: I can no longer live there , check - why?_

 _Step Two: Cause he's a lying bastard who likes women, check - how do I know that?_

 _Step Three: Well see he has a son... Who needs his father._

 _Step Four: It just fucking hurts and I don't know what to say to him any more._

Tears start to well in my eyes and I put an arm over them in an attempt shut the tears down. But it's no use, never is.

 _Father..._

That's the word I'm getting caught on, if I'm being honest I could get over the women. He's ten years older then me I know he's had other partners before me - I'm a little shocked that the partners included women but he's a hansom man the ladies at his parties actually hang off him.

It makes me burn with rage to think others want him as bad as me, but it's a more traditional relationship as least Isaka would be happy.

To think of him as a father is painful, it is making me face the fact that he's not just dated a women but had sex with her... his brother hinted that it may it of always been his idea... but how could...

I can't see him as loving father like Niichan is to his child but who am I to deny him the chance to try being a true father?

 _Father_... The word holds so much responsibility and meaning to me. I wish I had more of my father's time, I will not be selfish this time.

I open my eyes and I notice Manami is holding a cup of coffee out to me, how long has she seen me like this?

"Want something to eat?" She asks gently.

"No... actually... yes please" I change my answer as she gives me a look that she will feed me regardless.

She walks off to the kitchen to prepare me something.

"Sandwich OK" She calls to me.

"Yes thank you if it's no trouble" I wipe my eyes and straighten up on the sofa.

 _Come on pull your self together Misaki!_

Placing a plate with sandwiches in my hand she settles opposite me and curls he feet under her as she sit in the chair.

"I want to ask you if you OK but that seams kind of like a stupid thing to say... so why don't I tell you what I know and you can catch me up?" She says as I start on my sandwich.

I eat to hide my embarrassment, now at lest I will not be caught telling her more about me and Akihiko then she already knows. I nod.

"Takahiro went to go help Usami with a stalker type of ex girlfriend situation, you left to give them some space. Ran into his brother and tripped while you were out, his brothers place was close so he helped you with your foot then you came to come help me with Mahiro while Takahiro is away, and you might as well stay the night as its getting late and it's cold out there" She sums up the situation nicely.

The relief that washes over me is immense and I eat the rest of my sandwich that I had been holding as I waited for her to explain.

I nod and smile at her, this truth will do for now, that's not going to upset anyone right it's sounds totally plausible.

"There are two pain killers please take them, your foot still looks rather swollen"

I swallow them down with the last of my coffee.

I finish everything on my plate as she cradled her tea and smiles sweetly at me, she really is perfect for Niichan I'm glad they found each other and that I got to know her.

"All done?" She asks pleased at me.

"Yes thank you, you don't mind that I stay the night do you?" I ask again, I don't have my phone so I couldn't tell her I was even coming here today.

"Not at all. So what do you think... I will tell that pretty explanation to Takahiro ... ONLY if you tell me the truth" She threatens me while still managing to sounding loving.

I freeze! Ah god dam it! I knew it, she wanted to know what really went down.

"Come on Misaki! You turn up at my door unannounced, foot in a bandage, tears on your face hours after my husband runs out of here with very little explanation other then you and Akakhio are in trouble! You think I would not be concerned for you?"

I can't answer her and just try and not look at her.

But she's not done yet.

"You think I don't see how you look at Usami or how his every movement is for you and you alone? True I haven't known him as many years as you and your brother but I'm not blind like Takahiro pretends to be" She pauses waiting for me to deny it, but I can't even speak so she continues.

"You never come to ours with out him or at least Takahiro pestering you for about a week. Please sweetheart let me in, the truth will go no further" She finished as I finally look at her.

I'm openly crying now, tears flow down my face with out a sound.

 _No no no it's meant to be hidden, it's not ok to show others don't ask for help._

I place the plate down in the coffee table finally as I remember to breath.

Is it relief I feel or shame? I don't know what one I should be feeling, she knows way more then I though she knew and it's frightening to hear my life summed up into a few words.

"Don't you dear close off to me young man!" She scolds me as she sees my face shift to try and reject her truth.

"I don't... I don't know where to start" I admit angrily to her and her face softens.

"How about we start with why you wanted to come over today? You were going to talk to Takahiro and I about something, can you tell me?" she prompts me.

No. That's what I want to say...

 _… No I don't want to._

 _… No I can't._

 _… No it doesn't matter any more._

"It's not really a issue any more" I settle on as I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and avoid her eyes.

"Any more? Why, what was the issue yesterday that isn't one today?" She frowns confused.

Her questions are so reasonable but I hate them anyway.

I'm quite for a long time, I can hear the clock tick on the wall. She's not pushing me for answered but she not letting things drip like Niichan would, she's right he will pretend not to see things. Trying to just keep everyone happy to keep the path ahead straight.

"I don't think... I .. I don't think we are ... to together... any more" I whisper out and I see her lean towards me in a effort to hear me. I screw my eyes shut and wait for her anger or disgust.

 _Please please please don't ask me to leave now you know!_

 _Please let me still see little_ Mahiro _please please don't take my family away._

I hear her get up to leave the room and I'm shocked to feel her arms around me I just lean into her and cry as she pats my back and makes little shhh noises.

"We will work it out, you will be ok" She says to me as I pull away slightly and she takes my face in both her hands gently so I'm forced to meet her eyes.

"Ok" she asks and I nod.

"Why aren't you together any more?" She asks me again.

"I'm too selfish" I confess to her.

"What... that's rubbish!" She sounds nearly angry at me.

"It's true, I'm too selfish and too afraid" I continue.

"Afraid? of what?" She asks gently trying to get the truth out of me.

"But I was told I passed... but I still don't think it matters... it's not my place now... it's too selfish to be there" I'm babbling but I can't stop now.

"Misaki sweetheart your not really making sense" She tries to calm me down.

"Didn't matter any way but what if he didn't know... but I guess it's just a lie... he had to have known... and he didn't want to be a father but he should be... don't you think?" I hardly even hear her talk to me.

"Ummm I don't know even what you are asking me? Slow down and try and explain it one thought at a time" She sounds so confused.

"Akihiko, he should be a good father right?" I ask and don't know why she was unable to keep up.

"Sorry are you saying Akihiko has a child? I real one! Not one of his stories! But real" She's looking at me with wide eyes and not quite believing me.

"Yes that's what I have been saying, I can't stay with him... he has a son from another relationship and he needs to look after him... I will get in his way and he will not give him all of his love of I'm there" I blurt out.

It was at that moment her phone rang, she stared at it and back to me a few times before she snatched it angry off the coffee table and answered.

 _Dear Mother in heaven, did I stay just say all of that out loud!_

"I'm going to bed" I infirm her as she's taking she sees me and scrolls but nods at me.

I shuffle into the spare bedroom and shut the door, sliding down the closed door I pull my legs up to my chest and cry into them.

What have I done!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Do I take this kid home with me? Or do I leave him with Usagi like has father planned?

He's not good with children, well people really. He's not really good with any one other then Misaki. And to leave him alone with him, to let him in to his space... is it really ok?

I guess at worst he will just forget he is here... the kids six he should be fine for a few hours. I will be back early tomorrow.

I don't know if he's really is Usagi child but he sure looks like him, he has the same fearful actions Akihiko had when he was as with that women too.

His date of birth puts it in the right time frame but who knows if the evil witch was cheating on him? It's not like she had any morels to begin with, why would she have bothered with keeping it exclusive, unless this is what she wanted, another collar for him to wear.

It would be like her to want to use a child to hurt him, and removing any doubt that it is not his child would be the type of long term planning she was known for.

Akihiko is reacting like he thinks it's his too, it surprised me that his fathers trick actually worked. His advice was simple really.

" _If you want to tell if something is important to Akihiko then threatened to take it away from him and if he stops you, then you will know for sure. And in this I need to be sure."_

And stop him being taking away he did. His father always unnerved me, he is such a commanding person and its very hard not to obey him when he gives you a order.

The kid must be starving, at least I can feed him before we decided where he goes.

Finding left overs in the fridge I reheat some of it and sit the kid at the table and ask him to eat.

He looks at it, what's wrong kid don't like it? Looks back at me and I put the chopsticks in his hands.

 _Come on Hibiki eat you must be starving. Looks like you only got cake earlier today._

I leave him with out a word and walk away back to Usagi. I hear him eat as soon as I turn my back, skittish kid.

Usagi is sipping on his cold coffee, for something to do I guess.

My phone beeps with a message and I check it.

 _"Misaki just turned up here, he's fine please call me when you can"_

She's a wonderful wife, she let me take off on her at a moments notice with very little explanation and now she's looking after Misaki, she just sort of took him under her wing and treats him like he's her own little brother.

 _"Thanks love, glad he's safe. call soon xxoo"_ I reply.

"What was I thinking? I don't know how to look after children, hell before Misaki arrived I barely knew how to look after myself" Usagi mutters more to him self then me.

I hmm at him, can't really disagree with that.

"Why did I stop him? What do I do now?" He looks at me his lavender eyes begging for an answer from me.

It unnerves me like always, his eyes are always so intense. I'm not good at handling him when he's like this, I just normally stay quite until he comes to his own answers but that's not going to work this time. Misaki would know how to handle a hysterical Usagi.

"Umm..." That's all I have got.

From the small amount of talking I got Habiki to do I can put part of his life together and its not a loving one. He needs something more gentle and more caring... and Akihiko's father is neither of those things.

After Hibiki's mother died, he was shipped to a foster home, which he ran away from. I'm guessing it was a few foster homes, kids like him are hard to place let alone keep around.

It appears he kept going back to the house his mother raised him in. A few days ago he found the photo that now sits on the coffee table with an address and pestered anyone he could ask until they showed him how to get here.

No clothes with him, no possession other then his teddy bear and no where to go back to... maybe we could start the investigations as to the last place he ran from but at least for this weekend he's going to need somewhere to stay.

"I need Misaki" He mutters and looks down at my brothers phone that is sitting quietly on the bench. I pick it up and put it in my pocket, I will take it to him tonight.

"I kind of agreed, but I'm not sure he really wants to be here. It's not like him to run off like this especially with out his phone. He must be upset and think he is going to get in the way"I say and hope its not going to set Usagi off.

His eyes go wide and he looks a little panicked.

"He's OK, Manami just let me know he's at our house now and he can stay a few days until we sort out what you can do. Your going to need the room back I guess" I reassure him.

It's panic I see on his face... dam it I'm not going to be able to ignore this thing going on between them much longer.

"Let's work out what you need to do with Hibiki first, I'm getting ahead of myself." I say hopping to bring him back to the subject at hand.

He has many rooms spare in this house but he's going to have to clean one of them out of bears before more furniture can be brought in if he indeed is going to look after this kid long term.

"You take him" he spits out angrily.

"Usagi... That's not really going to work, our house is full... you are going to need to look after him yourself. I can come past early tomorrow with clean clothes for him. But he really should stay here."

He puts his cup in the sink and just walks away from me and the conversation.

"Hey, get back here" I yell at him as he storms up the steps and shuts himself in his office.

The only answer I get is the sound of him kicking the door, then followed by the sound of a few books hitting a wall.

 _Childish man!_

I want to storm up there but Hibiki is looking afraid again. Is it really ok to leave him here with him?

The child controls his face and quite like a shadow he leaves the table and brings his plate to the bench. He looks up at me with golden orbs.

"Thank you for the meal, shall I leave now?" He asks me.

"Your welcome and no you don't need to leave now" I'm confused, why would he want to go now. He just found his father like he wanted.

"She said it would be ok but it's not and he's scary, where did the nice man go?" He says as he lowers his head so I can't see his eyes.

"Nice man? You mean Misaki? You meet him?" I ask concerned I don't feel too comfortable knowing Misaki meet this child, it would set all of his internal alarms off. He nods and looks up at me, glad that I know who he's talking about.

"He helped me and gave me cake and read me stories..." He says happily.

"He's a good man alright, but he's at my house at the moment" I say.

"Oh, your house" He sounds so defeated and lowers his head again.

"He's my brother" I explain to cheer him back up.

"You are lucky... I can go outside now" He looks revealed.

"Outside? You don't need to leave" I'm confused.

"Oh, can I go to the bathroom then?" He asks simply.

 _Oh god, kid your breaking my heart, what did that women make you do?_

"Sure let me show you where it is" I say and show him to the downstairs bathroom.

I wait for a long time for him to come back out, I finally knock on the door and open it to find him sitting on the bathroom rug nearly falling asleep.

I lean down and go to pick him up but remember at the last moment that he's not used to kind physical contact and tuck my hands on my knees.

"You don't need to sit here, why don't you come out to the living room and watch some TV" I ask him gently.

"Really!" He sounds so happy and rises as I get up, his golden eyes bright and clear.

I nod at him and set him up in front of the large TV and find the kids channel, turn it down low and pass him the remote. He takes it in both hands and careful places on the side next to his bear.

"I'm going to go talk to Usami now, I will be back down soon ok, call if u need anything" I say to him as he nods absently as he gets engrossed in what's in the TV.

He's quite and obedient... But not in a good way. He reminds me of a puppy that's been trained with a shock collar and its disturbing.

I go to face the other 'child' in the house.

At least the office door is not locked, I roll my eyes and walk in to see him pretending to work as he scratches at his arm angry.

"Akihiko" He's still ignoring me and I push the door part way closed behind me.

"Come on, you will be OK for one night with him here on your own. He can sleep on the couch if you don't want him back in Misaki's room" I say trying to get him to answer me.

I roll my eyes again as he keeps pretending to work and I sit backwards on the other rolling chair in the office. I cross my arms over the back rest and wait for the stubborn man to acknowledge me.

Finally he sighs loudly and gives up pretending to type, his shoulders slump and he's scratching his arm again. At least he's not walling him self up.

"You take him" He says again.

"No, you accepted the responsibility from your father for him you must have had a reason"

"Well I didn't so there" he childishly says to me.

I wait and he turns towards me.

"For now... he has nowhere to go, my house is full. You can look after him for a night in your own. If... And this is a big if... Misaki wants to come back with me tomorrow we can ask him to look after him for a few hours while we see if we can sort some of this mess out" I say, a bit of a low blow using Misaki name like that but it worked.

"Fine, but only till tomorrow" he sulks "I have lots of work to do he better not get in the way!"

"He's a six year old Usagi not a baby! He will be fine" I say to the only baby here.

 _He agreed, time to go! Before he changes him mind._

I jump up and he turns back to the laptop.

"Right then, I'm going to say good bye to Hibiki he's in the living room watching TV. Be nice to him...or at lest don't yell at him"

This time he really has started work.

I leave the door open and go down stairs to say good bye.

I walk in and he reminds me so much of my own brother at that age. His total focus on the TV and watching with baited breath for the hero to swoop in and stop the bad guys.

I call his name softly and he jumps in surprise and scurries off the couch to stand and look at me.

 _Ok do this now before I scoop him up and take him home with me._

"I'm going to go home now" I see him flick his eyes up stairs and he nods and grips his bear tight.

"You are going to stay here tonight OK, no running away!" I caution him and he nods again.

"Promise me, you will not want to make Misaki mad would you" I ask, lord when did I start using my brothers name as a threat.

"Promise" He said and this time I believed him.

"OK good, I'm going to come back tomorrow with some clean clothes for you."

He just nods and I turn to leave before I hug the kid.

"Remember you can use the bathroom when ever you want and you can keep watching TV until Usami asks you to go to sleep." I say to him as I walk out of the TV room.

Another nod. With that I leave.

I order a taxi then call my wife's number once I'm down stairs I need to tell her what's going on and see if she had a way I can convince Misaki to come back with me Tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 _You must have had a reason..._

What a stupid comment. There was no reason.

It was not cause the kid looked so small and frightened of my father.

It was not cause that vile women almost twisted me into something like him.

It was not cause I felt responsible that the sinking feeling in my gut tells me this child is in fact mine.

But now he's here and Misaki's is not, I chased him away with my stupidity from seven years ago... that was were the anger is really coming from. It's all my own fault.

I forgot about her. I was happy, I believed I could stay happy and that I could protect him. That he would be safe with me but I saw his face and tears were streaming down it and there was so much pain in his eyes. Pain that I caused.

 _I'm so naive!_

I want to call him and hear his voice, hear that he's alright. But I stop myself yet again. What if he tells me he's not coming back.

No I will leave him alone, his brother will convince him to come tomorrow and I can talk to him then.

I let my work take me away and avoided the whole situation.

I finally stop and look at the time, it's late, or is that early. Either way time to call it a night.

I save and shut down my laptop. I hear the mummer of the television from down stairs and remember that the kids still here.

Shit! I should have sent him to bed or made him brush his teeth or ... something ...I should have done something.

Yet again I scratch the blasted nicotine patch under my shirt I make my way down stairs to check on him.

Some random kids channel is playing and the light is flickering around the lamp lit room. I don't see the kid in the sofa.

 _Where is he?_

Ah there he is, slumped sideways asleep on the couch. I turn off the television and look down at him. He's so tiny on our sofa with his teddy tucked under one arm he looks so peaceful.

It really is childish and unfair if me to blame this kid for any of my troubles.

I crouch down and gently brush his ash blonde hair, it's soft and he mummers in his sleep. I pull my hand back quietly so as to not wake him. I lay the blanket I brought down earlier over his sleeping form. Tuck him in a little and just stand there looking at him.

He looks like I did as a child and again my gut churns with unease. I let my hand wonder to the scar on my ribs and it makes me wonder how many bruises or scares he has.

I can't bring my self to leave him here alone just yet and I sit on the arm chair and watch him in his sleep.

How can I possibly fix this? I know of him now I can't just pretend and go back to the way it was. But I can't let go of Misaki with out loosing half my soul.

Would I give up this kids future for Misaki?

But if I did that I would be asking Misaki to go against his nature and ignore someone in pain. He would not accept that and would no doubt feel like he made me choose between them.

That is assuming he would even talk to me long enough for me to tell him I kicked a kid on the street for my own happiness.

I dropped my head into my hands.

Honestly if it would work I think I might do it, but if he came back to me he would not be the same he would be riddled with guilt and I doubt we would last.

I looked back at the sleeping child who started all this mess, no it's not his fault it's mine.

Father warned me that our relationship was not strong enough that if I didn't allow him to have choices it was doomed to fail. He only needed to choose me, always choose me!

But how do I get him to listen to me? I need him, how do I show him he can believe in me again?

I got up and turned the heating on low so Hibiki would not wake from the cold and switched off the lamp as I went back up stairs.

I lent in the door way of Misaki's room and looked in at the darkness. I longed to see him in his bed where he belongs.

What if I could have both, Misaki and this child? Would it even work, Misaki was so good with him earlier today and he's a natural with his little nephew.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture what that would look like.

I smile as I imagine him in the kitchen cooking dinner, chopping the green peppers up tiny so I don't notice, with his apron on and the kid playing and smiling as he waits for Misaki to be done. I walk in and hug Misaki from behind giving him a little fright and the kid and I laugh as he lightly punches me on the shoulder. But we know its pretend, he loves when I sneak up on him.

It's a cute pretend scene, something I could see at the end of one of my novels but not something akin to reality. What would it take to get him back? Do I even deserve him back?

What if I play the happy family scene but replace me with a young lady and the child as his.

 _Oh that hurts, fuck it! No he's mine and I will prove that I will do anything to keep him._

I thump the door frame in frustration, sigh and walk back towards my own bedroom.

I will apologize until he hears me, and I will send Hibiki anywhere he wants me too.

Misaki's mine, I would not let my brother have him, nor that filthy manga writer and a kids not going to take him from me either!

Ah fuck I have just come back full circle with my thoughts! I give up for the night, fall into bed with out taking more then my belt off.

 _I will move in a second..._

 _...What the hell is that noise! I just closed my eyes for a second._

My phone is ringing where the hell is it...? I scramble around the floor by the bed and find it nearly under my bed. My head hurts and the irritating shrill is not helping.

"What" I growl down the phone as I answer it with out looking to see who it is, I flip back on to the bed and wait for a answer.

"Ah Usagi" _Misaki?_...

"It's me Takahiro did I wake you" _No not Misaki, his brother._

"Yes"

"Ok, sorry about that it's early I know"

I grunt at him, I want to go to sleep and close my eyes while I hold the phone to my ear.

"How is Hibiki?" He asks, why is he asking he was here not too long ago.

"Fine. I think he's asleep on the sofa now he fell asleep while watching television" I mutter to him.

"You forgot to check on him didn't you?"

"... Yes, but he looked fine" I confess, again no real point in lying.

"Well I called to make sure you get up and get him breakfast" He says and I groan... _Breakfast! What the hell is the time?_

I check the clock on my phone quickly, _bloody hell its only 7am!_

Anyway breakfast is Misaki's thing not really mine... but he's not going to make me breakfast now is he!

"I'm up all ready" I do lie this time but I drag my sorry ass up to side in the side of the bed and sit there.

"What... what do I feed him?" I ask. I can't make a fancy breakfast hell I can't even really make rice with out setting off a alarm.

"Toast will do" He chuckles at me and I hear the giggle of his son in the background and the sweet voice of Misaki as he answered the toddler back.

I stand and start going downstairs as if me moving will put distance between myself and the sound of a happy Misaki.

The house is warm from the heating being on all night but it still feels empty and too quite.

I find the bread and put it in the toaster, can't get this too wrong... I hope.

"When are you coming over?" I ask him, it's not the question I want to ask but it will do.

"We are coming over in about an hour"

"We?" I ask and try to keep the hope out of my voice.

"Yes, sorry I'm going to bring Mahiro and Misaki with me as Manami has a shift at work this afternoon and I will need a baby sitter if we plan to sort this out"

 _Misaki's coming, can I talk to him? Will he listen?_

"Thank you" I sigh in relief and don't care if the noisy toddler is coming with them. More high pitched giggles in the background and my gut twists again.

"OK we are going to head to a department store first then come to yours, see you soon"

"Yes, and thanks again"

"No problem" He says as he hangs up.

I look down at my self, my clothes are creases from sleeping in them and my face feels gritty. I look unable to handle even dressing myself let alone looking after a kid, this will not do I need to show Misaki I'm someone to trust.

The toast pops and I put it on a plate on the table for Hibiki add the spread and a glass with juice. That looks normal right?

I pick up Suzuki and place the large bear on the seat where Misaki normally sits and go to wake the kid.

He is already awake and still in the television room. He's sitting very still with the blanket folded next to him and is turning the photo of Kira and me over and over in his hands. I clear my throat and he hastily puts the photo back inside his teddy bear.

"Go wash up and eat your breakfast. It's on the table" I say, it comes out like a order but just seeing her photo has put me back on edge.

He nods and jumps down and almost runs to the bathroom.

At least he will eat.

I go back up stairs to get myself presentable too.

I sit down stairs at the table with my second coffee going cool in my hands, I opted for a casual look with the near while lavender shirt Misaki got me and black woolen sweater, after I saw myself in the mirror in my dark blue suit I saw how stern I looked and choose not to scare the kid any more that I already have.

Plus its still the weekend, and Misaki likes it when I dress casual in the weekends, something about making him feel like we can have fun.

But now the time was just ticking by slowly, Hibiki sits at the table too with his bear on his lap and his cup of juice in his hands and tried not to look at Suzuki. I could tell he itched to play with him but I could not offer the oversized bear to him.

So we sat in silence and I pretended not to watched the door and he pretended not to watched the bear.

Finally I heard the key in the lock of the outer door and I had to control myself to not jump out of my seat and launch myself at our guests.

I hear the high voice of the Takahashi's toddler and the mummer of the man him self. Then the door is open and Takahiro is standing there with a stupid grin and the toddler in his arms with a bag swinging from one hand. But I didn't see Misaki.

I stood then and walked over to greet them in a attempt cover my disappointed. When I finally saw the green eyes of my Misaki I stopped short and Hibiki nearly ran into the back of my legs. He looked past me and we both whisper Misaki's name at the same time.

He came into the room limping slightly and I stated to move again.

"Misaki! Your hurt!" I say pointing out the obvious.

He didn't look at me and moved slightly behind his brother.

"I'm fine" He mutters at me.

That annoying toddler reached back for him and laid claim to him "My missky" He calls and I see Misaki smile back at him.

Again Hibiki and I mimicked each other and took a sharp breath at the toddlers comment.

Takahiro puts the toddler on the floor and he walks up to Misaki who takes his hand and they walk to the kitchen bench and he lifts Mahiro to sit on the bench with him as he unpacks everything.

 _Look at me... please!_

I feel a little tug on my pants and look down to see hurt golden eyes.

"Can I help him please?" He asks, why is he asking me? I look at Takahashi and he nods and smiles at the child.

"Morning Hibiki, would you like to help put the food away and then Misaki can go help you get the shower started so you can get changed into clean clothes" He tells him.

"Morning sir" He says to Takahashi and nods eagerly as he rushes off to Misaki's side. I want to follow and be at Misaki's side too, I want to hold him and let him know I need him.

Hell I would settle for him looking at me at this point.

I cross one arm over my stomach and the other goes to cover my mouth so I don't blurt out how much I love him in front of his brother.

"Can you come with me for a moment Usagi?" Takahashi says and he doesn't wait for a answer from me he just walks up stairs. He knows me well and I follow him, my eyes stay on the kitchen for as long as I'm able.

Misaki is telling Hibiki where things go and Mahiro is passing things to him trying to mimic Misaki's orders.

At least Misaki is taking, but he still looks tense and like he would rather be anywhere else right now.

I follow his brother into Misaki's room, I want to protest that the kids not staying in this room but I don't actually have any of the other rooms free at the moment. Maybe he can sleep in the office.

But I see why we are here, there is a bathroom attached to this room and it will be convent for now.

I stand at the door and look down to the kitchen for what feels a long time. He still will not look up at me.

 _Please look up..._

"Usagi" Takahashi calls and I shut the door behind me as I enter the room. I walk past him and sit on the bed so I can at least be close to him this way. I wait for him to talk, this is not easy on any of us.

He starts to unpack the new clothes and places them on the bed after he pulls the price tag off them. I pick up a little blue collared shirt, it's kinda cute, not sure a kid wants to wear this but still cute.

After sorting out the clothes into two plies, maybe one for washing? Who knows what he's doing, I do know he's stalling. He has bad news to deliver me.

I lay the little blue shirt back on the bed and look at him as he continues to fuss over no existent fluff on one of the sweet shirts.

"Thank you. Again" I say breaking the awkward fussing he's doing.

He drops the shirts and pulls out the chair Misaki uses at his desk.

"No problem, look it was not easy to get Misaki here today and to be honest I'm not even sure it's a good place for him to be right now" He says in a bit of a rush. He puts a hand up to stop my objections before they are said.

"But it's not good for him to ignore this either" He continues as he shuffles in his seat and straightens up..

 _Here it comes he has his serious face on..._

"Usagi I have known you a long time, and we have helped each other thought what has so far been the worst parts of our lives"

"True, I value your continued friendship and support very much" I say honestly to him.

"And now I'm going to ask as your friend a question and I want a honest answer"

I nod again, this is getting me confused. He knows I didn't know about Hibiki previously dose he think I'm lying to him too?

"I'm going to try and not react but if I do please don't say anything till I'm calm again ok?" He asks me.

I nod again. He stands, then sits again quickly. Looks at me intently takes a deep breath.

"Are you in a relationship with my kid brother?" He rushes out.

I blink slowly as my mind catches up with his question, not what I expected to be asked.

I instantly want to say no, that we are just house mates that he is just living with me as its close to school and to not trouble you and your young family. I want to say all the pretty lies we have told him over the years... But out of respect I don't.

"Usagi" He growls at me, I have taken to long to answer he must know what the answer is.

I can't hold his eyes and lower my head as I pick up the stupid blue shirt again.

"Yes" I say, I'm not ashamed but it's not right to say this with out Misaki and is it still a yes if my love will not even look at me.

The chair he's sitting in is knocked over as he jumps up in anger, I can see so many emotions cross his face and see out of the corner of my eye his hands ball into fists. He's seriously pissed, shocked and maybe appalled.

"Usagi" He growls at me and I let him, I would let him punch me if its what he needs to do.

He starts to pace and his arms are thrown angry across his chest.

"You... He's just... You! ... and him... My brother! … … … it's ok, I'm ok we can work this out" He breaths through each emotion and his body slowly begins to relax back to normal. He picks the chair back up and sits.

Closes his eyes and puts a hand up to me stopping what ever I might have said again.

"Ok this... This we will deal with later" He says to me as he opens his eyes and meets mine again.

I'm surprised I don't see anger in his dark grey eyes, maybe not acceptance yet but not anger.

I nod again at him. We can pick this up later, if there is even a later for our relationship.

He sighs and slumps forward.

"To be honest I knew something may have been going on, but avoided it really. It hurts that I'm almost the last to know Manami has been trying to convince me to open my eyes to it for ages. But I'm stubborn" He explains with a crooked smile and fake laugh.

How can he take this ok? We have been so worried about how he will react I'm sure Misaki has a whole speech planned. And he's just saying he kind of expected it... but he's not done yet.

"Also explains why Misaki is taking this so hard, I mean he's an mindful person and will always think of others before him self almost to a fault, but he is hurting way to much for it to be just concern for a friend" He says.

His words hurt and it's my turn to stand, I can't sit still and hear how I'm hurting him.

"Sorry Usagi I didn't mean to upset you and we really need to find a path through this but when I got home last night I had to hear him sobbing his heart out like he had just lost our parents all over again. Only this time I couldn't help cause I didn't understand that you were breaking his heart" He says softly to me but with a edge to his voice.

"He's not ready to deal with his emotions yet and he has no idea what he wants. I worry that if he stays here he will do what _you_ want and not sort out his own pain. Please Usagi don't ask him to stay" He begs me finally.

I look at the ceiling and close my eyes at the pain of his words, all I want to do is beg him to stay. But I nod at his brother who I loved for many years, I will do this for you.

"Come down stairs shortly and I will go over the plan for today" He says as he touches my shoulder and leaves closing the door gently.

As I hear the door shut the one tear finally falls down my face. I swallow the rest of the pain down where it churns in my gut with all my other guilt. At least now they have company!

My heart is beating to fast and I don't feel very well but I open my eyes and wipe the one tear away. Put my walls back up and walk down stairs to face all my guilt in person.

Lord I would take a 100 back to back press conference rather then have to be in the same room as Misaki and not beg him to come home.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Manami has a shift at work, and Niichan needs to take Akihiko out and I have been dragged in to be the baby sitter of my nephew and my boyfriends ... Maybe ex-boyfriend's .. Love child at the house that I'm going to have to move out of...

 _Could my life get any better!_

At least the kids will keep me busy and I can use them as a excuse not to talk to Akihiko. It hurts when I hear Niichan use his pet name but I can't seam to call him that any more. When we turned up earlier I nearly chicken out before the door opened.

I saw both of them standing there looking so alike, like they really were father and son. The man looked better then I thought he would, I half expected the kitchen to be on fire and for him to be in the same clothes as yesterday.

But he looks good, painfully good in his casual wear, it's rear to see him in these clothes and he's wearing the shirt I brought him for his last birthday. It matches his lavender eyes so well.

When he called my name I nearly fell down, his voice soft and full of concern almost broke my resolve if not for Niichan being here I might have caved in asked to come home. But I'm just here as baby sitter, it's my one job I can see how the kids doing and cook a few meals for the freezer and that's all. As the image that meet me at the door proved he's a father now and I need to step aside so he can be one, no matter my pain I will not beg to let me stay and ruin this chance Hibiki has that I didn't.

I hear my brother come down stair and he avoids looking at me, what were they taking about. I'm sure it's about me, maybe it was about what I should take and what I can leave behind. Mahiro walks over to meet his father and reaches to be picked up. Which the doting father always dose.

"Papa frown" little Mahiro says and pats his dad's face then laughs when his fingers are chomped at by his father.

"You being a good helper for uncle and Hibiki?" He asks his son who nods and smiles.

"Good boy, can you get your toys from your bag for papa?" He asks as he released him back in the ground.

"Misaki, can you take Hibiki to your shower when Usagi comes out of your room please?" He asks me and I nod.

I put my back to the room and start cleaning the coffee maker out so I don't have to see Akihiko as he comes back down. But I can feel him the instant he steps in to the same space as me it's like a rope is pulling on me demand me to turn and acknowledge him.

Coffee machine all clean and Akihiko has moved to the dining room now, I can move with out having to walk right past him. I look down at the child that hasn't left my side yet I saw golden eyes look at me worried.

 _Oh great now I'm stressing out it's a six and a half year old! Good going Misaki!_

I put a mask back on and smile at him to reassure him everything is OK.

"You ready?" I ask and he smiles back at me and nods. He reaches out to my hand, this is a little surprising but I take it and lead him up stairs and away from the tension filled living room. There are clothes left out on my bed and a pile that looks like washing, I will get to that soon. It's nice to be in my room again, I can smell Akihiko's aftershave still lingering and it feels safe and familiar.

"OK, pick what your going to wear" I say and start resorting the piles. The kid looks at me and smiles again as I sit on the bed.

"I can choose anything?" He asks a little in awe.

"Yup it's all yours so you can choose what ever you like" I stop sorting so he can look at them all.

"All of it..." He says shocked and lightly touched the clothes, looks at me again and picks a dark jeans, light blue shirt and a dark blue woolen blend sweater.

"Like yours, I want to wear these" He says happily. I look down at myself and I guess the clothes do look like mine I nod and smile at him.

"Ok let's get the shower started" I walk into the bathroom and he hangs back avoiding me, maybe he's shy.

I get the shower warm and try and find extra shower gel, I really did run out the other day when I used Akihiko's... only the other day.

"Hibiki, come on the waters running" I yell over my shoulder as I keep hunting for gel in the draws under the sink.

He walks in and I hear him start to get undressed behind me.. Is he crying? I turn quickly and look at him, he is crying... _Wow what happened he was ok a second ago._

"Hey hey hey what's the matter?" I ask in a rush as I stop my search and turn towards him.

His head is low and he takes off his dirty Tee shirt, he's standing in a pool of clothes at his feet and his little underwear all that's covering him. I move towards him in shock, he has little burn scars all over his chest and I can see entirely too many of his ribs as his breath hitches with his crying. There are scars on his legs too and I want to turn him around to check out his back but I'm not going to touch him.

 _What the hell did his mother do to him?_

"I don't... I'm sorry... please..." He mutters and I strain to hear over the noise of the water running. What dose he think I'm going to do.

"Hey I'm not going to touch you" I blurt out, maybe a bit loud but I'm not sure what else to say. His golden eyes meet mine and they shine with his tears.

"You don't want me?" He asks sadly.

"Want you? Wow wow wow! I don't want to hurt you or abuse you... But I want you around" oh god this kid needs professional help.

"Your not going to?" He asks confused as his tears finally stop and he tugs at his underwear band.

"No... No one here is going to hurt you or make you do anything you don't want to do...ever!"

"No one?" He squeaks out.

"Nope no one..." I answer him

"But... What use will I be?" He ask in shock.

"Hey don't think like that you were really helpful today and I'm sure your real smart" I stumble with my words.

"But your leaving..." He says as his breath starts to get uneven again the tears will start soon.

"Yer well you need time with your fath... Usami right.. I can't get in the way of that" I try and explain why I have to go. We just stand there looking at each other neither saying anything.

"OK enough stalling! Wash you self with the shampoo the towels are here" I point to the stack of them it comes out a bit harsh but I'm finding it hard to breath. He nods but stays put.

"You OK to get dressed alone?" He nods again "Come down stairs when your done OK?" I say and take a glance at his back as I pull the door closed.

It has just as many scars on it as his front and it makes me feel ill that his mother did that it at least let that happen to her son. I left the bedroom and also pulled that door shut behind me. I lent on the closed door and put a hand to my eyes I felt sick.

"Misaki" Akihiko calls softly.

I move my hand quickly and it starts to shake so I put it behind me but tears have started to form as I see him through blurry vision. He has his laptop in his hand and was about to head back down stairs... A few more seconds and he would not had to see me like this. I tear finally falls and he comes to stand close to me but not touching.

"She hurt him Usa... Akihiko" I say as I nearly mess up and use his pet name. I feel my gut churn and put my other arm across it.

"Burnt him, he has dozens of burn scars all over his upper body... maybe from cigarettes. How could some one.." I have to stop or I really will be sick. I want him to hold me to tell me he will make it alright. He goes to move towards me but stops. Tears keep flowing and I put a hand to my mouth to stop a sob, I don't want the kid to hear me cry for him.

 _Touch me please... Help me..._

"He assumed I was going to hurt him too or abuse him... like he's is worth nothing else" I say in a whisper so the sound will not travel far. He comes even closer and I want to lean on him and let his cold hands soothe my pain away.

"Misaki" He says again and I give up and lean on him and he lets me rest against his chest.

His hands don't come up to my back but it's enough just to feel his warmth. I close my eyes tight and control my breathing to try to stop crying. His arms finally pull me in to a tight hug, I feel the laptop also press into my back and I can't stop the little chocking sound I make. The pain feels less and more at same time, here I am again crying over something that didn't even happen to me. I have been so selfish thinking only of my hurt.

He pulls away from me as I hear my brother call up to him from the living room and I instantly feel cold and confused again.

"You alright?" He asks softly and I nod so he can go back down stairs.

"Misaki... I want..." He starts but is cut off.

"Akihiko!" I hear my bother yell angrily from down stairs and he turns and leaves me alone.

Few more minutes and I will be OK, I need to be OK. Don't show my pain to my brother he worries over me enough as it is. I'm sure he heard me sobbing over my own lost parents last night and I'm not acting like myself around him. I can't show him any more of my selfishness.

Wiping tears from my eyes I make my way slowly down the stairs to a chubby happy baby who is waiting for me at the bottom.

"What you got there buddy?" I ask and he shows me the little bear in his hand.

"Oh that's Hibiki's bear" I say and take it from him "his name is echo" I make the little bear wave at the toddler and he giggles.

"Let's put him up somewhere safe. You have lots of other toys you can play with" I say and place the little bear on the bench out of the toddlers clutches who is pouting at trying to reach up to get the bear again.

I take his hand and limp away to the living area, leaving Niichan and Usami to their planning on the kitchen table. I open the room doors wide so Hibiki can tell where we are and put the TV down low on a kids channel and get busy making little block towers that get knocked over four seconds after their creation by a toddler monster. This stack up and knock down game is getting old, and kind of frustrating to be honest. But he's enjoying him self and staying out of the way.

"You build now" I tell the toddler.

He flops down on his bottom and manages to make a tower three tall before he's bowling it over with one of his stuffed rabbits. I sign and lean over to rest fully in the ground one arm propped up to hold my head and the other making a tiny three block high city for the fluffy bunny to terrorize.

"I'm done now" I hear from the door way and look up to see Hibiki. Wow he's super cute in the little dress shirt and jeans. His hair is even blonder now it's clean it's closer to the colour of Akihiko's.

His checks are pink from the warmth of his shower and the sweatshirt he's wearing might me a bit warm for indoors. But there are no tears in his eyes any longer and I'm relieved. He doesn't look comfortable but at least he looks clean.

"You look good in those clothes Hibiki" I tell him and give him a encouraging smile as he finally looks at me.

"Want to help me build a block city for the monster to destroy?" I ask as I notice the tiny block town I just finished is now in ruins.

"Crash" little Mahiro giggles and I beacon the kid over to come sit next to me as I sit up with my back leaning on the sofa.

"I bet we can build one that last for more then twenty seconds if you help me" I say to get him to start playing. He sits and picks up a red block and turns it around in his hands.

Over and over it spins as I start to build another tiny town. He's still not helping with the block towers and I see that red block just spun and spun as he still doesn't help.

 _What kid doesn't like building block towers?_

I am so engrossed in the tiny city I don't feel or hear Akihiko enter the TV room.

"Hibiki" He says and passes his bear to him.

"Thank you" The boy says as he gives the bear a quick hug settles the bear on his lap and the block finally gets placed on a tower in the mini city.

Of course it doesn't last long the town is still cursed with the rabbit monster. Mahiro giggles as he knocks the city to the ground and waits for it to be built back up. I look up at Usami and smile at him, he may not know the traditional things a father would need to know but to be able to identify what will put him at ease was more important in my eyes then knowing how to cook or do washing.

The man nods at me and smiles back then walks away quickly. Lord it's only been a day but I missed seeing that smile. It's his true smile and I have never seen him smile like that at anyone else. It makes me heart ache, can I really give that up. I stop playing with blocks and try to not let my hurt show in my face.

"Hibiki, I'm going to the bathroom can you watch him for a few minutes?" I ask as I get up awkwardly with my foot wait for a nod from him and go to the downstairs wash room.

I splash water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. Right.. Remember this is for them... It's what they need... I wipe my face and check my mask again, it's back in place. Can't stay here long the boys may not play together. I walk back into the room as I hear Mahiro start to get sulky.

"Let's put these away, you want to watch your dancing show Mahiro?" I ask hopping it will work.

He turns to the TV and waits for me to find the right show for him. Then sits and is dead quite as what ever that animal is meant to be danced in it's weird garden filled with man made trees and fake grass. It's a weird show but I will get about ten minutes of quite from him.

Hibiki helps me put the blocks back in the travel bag and I check the time it's about a hour till the toddlers nap time. Maybe a snack will help calm him down a bit. I get out his rice crackers and pass him a few, glance behind in out of habit to see if Usami notices I'm giving the toddler food near the nice couches.

"I'm going to the kitchen" I tell the toddler who looks at me quickly and nods, I don't know if he gets what I'm saying but he will be able to see me from there if he needs anything, or gets bored.

"Want to help me make a snack?" I ask Hibiki. Who just gets up to follow me with out a sound his bear tucked under one arm. Fruit and some crackers should tied them over till after the toddlers nap when we can have some lunch together.

"You want me to pull a chair over for you" I ask Hibiki as he tip toes in a effort to try and reach the bench where I'm working.

He nods happily and I limp to the kitchen table... Ah may be that's was not a great idea now I'm close to Usami again. They are taking and looking to address and phone numbers in his laptop. Akihiko stops his typing and pushed the laptop to Niichan and out of my view before I could see what was on screen closely. The only empty chair in the one right next to Akihiko as Suzuki is taking up the one I normally sit in.

My brother get up from the table after he called the number from the laptop screen. He's not quite outside but he's close. He keeps his eyes looking my was as he talks too quietly for me to hear. Usami gets up as I go to grab the back of the chair.

"Misaki, let me" He says and I let him walk it to the kitchen as I limp behind it would have been a wee bit hard if I did it in my own.

He places it next to Hibiki, and looks back to me, flicks his eyes quickly towards where Niichan is talking still. I go to move the chair slightly so the kid can stand next to me as we prepare the food. I didn't see his hand still in the back of the chair and he brushes my hand as we both move at the same time. I miss his touch even more now, I can't help it I take a sharp breath and don't move my hand first.

"Misaki... I want.." Again he didn't get to finish his sentence as Takahiro clears his throat loudly from across the room.

"... rabbit apples too" He says sadly and moved his hands and walks away from me again.

The hand he touched tingles like it misses him too. No time for this. I look into the TV room to check if Mihiro is still happy he is swaying to the irritating music they are playing his the show.

"OK let's start, can you put the crackers on the plate and I will cut the apples" I say in a forced happy tone.

He nods and starts to take his task very serious it's cute how much effort he putting into it and I quickly cut two apples into rabbits. Place one set on the plate with crackers and the other on a plate for Akikhio.

"Can you take this to Usami please?" I ask the kid so I can avoid bring near him again.

"Ahh CUTE! They are rabbits!" I hear the kid exclaim in delight be he jumps down and grabs echo from the seat and I pass him the plate as I watch him walk careful to the table with the bear ticked under his arm and the plate being held tightly with both hands. I here Usami mummer of thanks as he takes the plate from the kid and I quickly clean up out mess. I pass the other plate to him as I grab a small glass of water and child's water bottle.

"Can you carry that to the TV room? I will bring water" I say and remember to get myself a glass or Hibiki might not drink his. He walks with as much attention as he did before and places it slowly on the ground near the sofa.

I see Mahiro go to grab a apple rabbit and Hibiki starts to look upset. He looks back at me and back towards the toddler. I can see he wants to stop the baby from getting the snacks before I arrive.

"It's alright, you can start" I tell him and he sits down and let's Mahiro take a apple rabbit in each hand.

"Here" I pass his water to him and lean over and pass the drink bottle to the toddler.

"You eat too please Hibiki, we made it for all of us" I say as I sit in the ground again.

Hmm maybe I should get my pain killers to take with this? I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out the pills Manami gave me before I left the house this morning. I pop them out if the safely seal and hold two in my hand before I reach for my water.

I hear Hibiki next to me take a sharp breath and suddenly the pulls are snatched out of my hand and the glasses of water are spilled over the plate. This makes Mahiro scared and he starts to cry.

But he's not the one I'm worried about, he climbs in to my lap and keeps crying, I comfort him instinctively and look at the older kid in shock. His knuckles are going white where he's gripping the pulls in one hand. His golden eyes are staring at me hard.

"No!" He growls at me.

I go to reach for the pills in his hand, these are not fit children to take. But he moved his hand away from me before I could get them.

"NO!" He screams at me and cries harder.

By this time Akihiko has come in to find out what the noise is about, with Niichan close behind him.

"What's going on?" Usami asks sternly and flicks the TV on mute while he waits for a explanation. Hibiki turns to him shocked at his pales a little but turns back to me and holds the pills even tighter.

Niichan lifts little Mahiro from my arms and gently rocks him and soothes him, he walks away just a few steps to help calm his child down.

"No" Hibiki says again stubbornly.

"No what Hibiki?" Usami asks him in irritation.

"He can't take them they make people mean and sick" He says to the man forceful like he's also at fault.

"Take what?" He asks confused.

"My pain killers" I say as I finally understand. That was stupid of me, his mother dies of an over dose of drugs of course this kid knows how bad drug abuse really can get.

"They are just for his foot it's alright Hibiki" Usami try's to clam the kid down. At least he has stopped crying now.

"NO!" Again with so much anger "He will get mean and I don't want him too, he said no one will hurt me... I don't to be hurt any more... you are making him leave ITS NOT FAIR..." He yells as his tears start to flow and his checks redden at his out burst.

He finally realized what just said and starts to back away from Usami and I in fear.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"No" He says angrily "He will get mean and I don't want him too, he said no one will hurt me... I don't want to be hurt any more... you are making him leave IT'S NOT FAIR" He yells as his tears start to fall and he's backing away from all of us.

I look at Misaki and he looks like he understands, I wish someone would tell me. Neither of us is willing to move in case we startle the child. How could all of this spark from some pain killers they are harmless drugs...

 _Oh... his mother of course!_

I kneel down next to Misaki, so close I can easily brush his shoulder with out the eagle eye of his brother seeing.

Hibiki watches me with trusting golden eyes and turns his gaze filled with anger towards my Misaki. Normally anyone looking like that towards Misaki I would want to punch but I finally start to understand I think this kid is all ready attached to Misaki and his general nature and he's afraid I'm going to chase him away.

"No one here is going to hurt you" I try to calm him down so he will hear me, his fist still will not let go of the pills and his eyes narrow in disbelief.

Takahashi moves away to the kitchen with his fussing child. Now is my chance I have only about two minutes. I let my hand rest lightly on Misaki's shoulder and feel him flinch slightly under it.

"No one is making Misaki move, I too don't want him to go" I say quickly, the kid snaps his head back at me and the anger leaves his face.

"But he said he's leaving" he says.

Misaki has been strangely quite and I feel him start to move away slightly but I hold him a bit tighter to make him stay close to me. Now I'm touching him I don't want to let him go again. This may be the only chance I will get to make him see I can't do with out him. If I can't make him understand today I get a feeling we will be over for good.

"I know Hibiki, but I don't know why he wants to leave, do you?" I ask the child as I start to lightly rub Misaki's shoulder with my thumb out of habit.

"He said it's cause you have to be a father, your making him go" He pouts in confusion that we both share. _That's why he wants to leave, to let me be a father? Is this because he still feels guilt over the death of his parents?_

"I am a rather useless person with out him around and I would be a unless father if I missed him so much I couldn't think about you. I don't want him or you to go away" I confess to both of them.

I hear Takahashi foot steps come back to us and my time is nearly over. The kid loosen his grip on the pills and nods.

"Your scary when he's not here" He says truthfully.

Takahiro has brought a cloth from the kitchen and started to mop up the water and pick up the left over food, all the while with a clingy child on his hip.

Golden eyes light up with some idea he's had.

"You can both be my father" he says happily.

"WHAT!" Takahiro says loudly from the mess between us and his son starts to fuss again at his raised voice. He throws the cloth down on the plate of food.

His harsh word breaks the mood and the kid starts to move back away from us all again. I remember to drop my hand from Misaki's shoulder. Takahiro glares at me and passes the fussy kid to his uncle before turns back to Hibiki and he puts his hand out to him.

"Pass them here" He asks a bit harshly and tears start to form in his eyes again. But he extends his hand and drops the pain killers in his open palm.

"Thank you. Misaki can't be your father, he's to young for that don't you think" He says calmly to the child who looks like a sad puppy that's been caught peeing on the good rug.

"Niichan I'm not a child any more" I hear Misaki mutter from next to me. He's playing with a stuffed bunny with Mahiro, sitting on the floor and to be honest right now he looks very child-like.

"Yes you are, you should be experiencing life Misaki" He says as he pivots back to his younger brother.

"You are just about to finish uni and start your new job at Marukawa Publishing I don't want you to put it all on hold for a .."

"... for a child! Like you had to right?" Misaki finishes for him and he puts the toddler on the floor next to me and gets up in a rush. He's the only adult standing and right now he looks nothing like a child as he towers over his brother.

"Niichan I'm sorry I made you stop your life for me and I'm sorry I that I caused our parents to not be around for us. BUT you don't get to choose every detail of my life any more" He says and limps away as he throws the stuffed rabbit on the floor angrily.

Takahiro just looks at the empty doorway and cringes as a door slams from somewhere downstairs. The laundry door I think, when he's mad like this and says more then he intends to he starts to clean.

I thought I was the only one that pushed him this far and by the look of my friends face I don't think he has ever seen an out burst like this from Misaki before. His toddler is crawling back into his lap and he picks him up as he stands still looking at the empty door way. I'm not even sure Takahashi even knew his brother could speak his mind like that and It seams to have shocked him.

"He... he answered me back!" He mutters to himself more then to me and starts to function as a normal human again.

"Usagi what did you say to him!" He asks me with gritted teeth.

"How was that argument, even in part, anything to do with me?" I ask him calmly.

Hibiki is now pressed up against the television unit as stops his retreat his bear held tight to his chest and his eyes wide in fear. We are scaring him, here we are telling him no one will hurt him and we are frightened him ever ten minutes! This kid has seen enough arguments turn bad and I bet he's been the one the anger has been taken out on. I looking the pissed man in the face and don't get up off the floor I nod towards the kid and Takahiro finally sees what he's doing.

"Sorry Hibiki, this is not your fault. Sorry I yelled" He says and let's his anger go and leaves the room.

I still don't move, If Misaki is cleaning and not crying he will be all right. This argument has been a long time in the making and the words, even though harsh, needed to be said.

I thought I had crushed his spirit, but I just saw a glimpse of the old Misaki again. I have to selvage this. And I know what I told the kid was true, I don't want either of them to leave. I love and need Misaki and I'm responsible for Hibiki. It's not going to be a easy but it will have to work.

I hear the washing machine start up and smile in the direction of the laundry room. _So predictable Misaki._

"Don't worry about them, they will be fine. Brothers fight all the time... Well not normally those two brothers but my older brother and I fight every time we see each other. It's normal" I say to break the tension the Takahashi men have left in their wake.

His brother is wrong this time, I think Misaki all ready knows what he wants and what he dosen't know how do was tell his older brother who has always been his guiding light that he no longer wants to follow his ideas of what his future should be. He's been trying so hard to live up to the vision of what Takahashi had for his own collage filled future that he was not even sure what he wanted to do after collage ended until this year.

I see Hibiki loosen his grip on the bear and moves away from the television unit. I get up and walk towards him so I can speak to him quietly with out being over heard. Then crouch back down to not seam so threatening.

"Don't worry Hibiki, I don't intend to let our Misaki go" I say and ruffles his hair gently before I leave the room.

Takahashi is in the kitchen putting his sons bottle in the microwave to warm up. The other brother comes out of his laundry cave and refuses to look our way, he storms up stairs as much as his foot will allow him and slams the door to his room. The door slams again as Misaki hobbles back down with a basket full of laundry and continues to ignore us and slams the laundry door for good measure.

His anger for once is not at me so I don't even mind all the door slamming today.

"Oh boy you pissed him off Takahiro" I say with a chuckle.

I get a hmmm from him and it makes me smile even more. My goodness these two are so similar some times. Hibiki brings the plate that we all forgot about in from the other room.

"Can you go help Misaki with the washing?" I ask to get the kid out of ear shot of what I want to say.

He looks nervous but goes to the laundry room anyway. He taps the door lightly and Misaki lets him in before he closes the door softy this time behind the kid.

I turn to Takahashi and wait for him to finish putting the bottle back together and look at me as his son takes it from him. He walks to the kitchen table and sits and adjust his son in his lap.

"Look that may have been delivered harshly but it's true, he's not a child any more" I say as I sit at the table with them.

"Don't you even start! You don't get a say in this yet!... You have your own issues to sort out!" He growls at me angrily "Can we drop this for now?" He asks calmer this time.

I nod at him, but this is not being dropped forever my friend we will be taking about this.

"Let's stick to the plan, we need to start to file the paper work, go visit the last place he was housed, see if we can find her house and check for evidence" He saying summarising our plan up nicely. It sounds easy when he says it like that, a nice neat check list.

The boys walk out of the laundry and Takahiro smiles awkwardly to his brother.

"Can you take Mahiro please Misaki? Usagi and I need to get going" He asks and Misaki takes his neatly sleeping nephew and his seat to settling him.

I get up from the table too and mess my loves hair like I always do as his brother turns his back to us start collecting his things. I'm not going to stop loving this man and I'm no longer going to hide my affection in front of his brother. I confessed our relationship to him and now I will have deal with the fall out but be damned if I have to let my Misaki go. I need him with me, he lets me forget all the pain she brought on me and reminds me that life can be joyful.

He proved today that he can speak up to his brother we will work this out but he will not be leaving me. He moved his head away just before his brother can see but I do get a smile from him. It makes me realise I have made the right choice he didn't want me to let him go either.

"Hibiki, can you come help me look for my car keys?" I ask so we can let the brothers have a few moments. I walk up stairs with out checking if he's following me. I know where my keys are but pretend to look for them in my office, the kid is looking around the room in awe with his mouth open.

"So many books! Have you read them all?" He asks me.

"Yes, I have. Do you like books?" I ask as I run my fingers lightly over the spines of a row of books. He nods and picks one up off the ground.

"I love stories they always end happy" He turns the book over and looks at me in shock.

"This is you! Why are you on a book?" He asks

"I wrote it" I say

"This whole thing!" He exclaims.

"All of these actually" I say and point to one of the large shells fill of my novels and think of the BL ones I have in the closed cupboard in case Takahiro ever came in here "and a few others as well"

He just looks at me and back to the shelve holding my work. His open admiration for me is a but unsettling. I can't tell him that not all my novels have a story with a nice happy ending. I grab my keys off my desk and the noise gets his attention.

"Hibiki, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Yes"

"Takahiro and I need to go out now for a few hours. Can you stay and help Misaki for me, make sure he stays off his sore foot as much as he can" I ask and he nods. It's the only way I can think of to ensue he's here when we get back, it looks like he's had a history of running and I don't want to risk it before I know more.

We walk back down stairs and Misaki is putting the baby down to sleep on the red sofa with a mass of pillows on one side and his blue bear paw blanket covering him up. He's s cute kid... When he's asleep.

I'm shocked at how normal this is staring to feel, the built up tension between me and Misaki is no longer as strong and I think we both feel we will find a way through this. The bothers are no longer fighting and the quite we get when the toddler is sleep is a blessing. Takahiro kisses his son lightly in the head and nods me, I nod back yes I'm ready to go.

I stay true to my promise I made to myself and lean over and kiss Misaki's forehead good bye I front of his brother. I see his brother eyes narrow at me in anger. I ruffle Hibiki's hair and I walk away before I see the shocked reactions to my open affection may have caused.

"Call if you need anything" I say quietly over my shoulder and pull the door shut as I push the infuriated brother a head of me.

"Stay safe" I hear Misaki call like he always dose and it makes me very happy.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Hey I saw that, don't do that to my brother" I growl at the irritating man, he didn't need to do that in front of me!

"Relax its fine, Misaki was going to tell you about us this weekend anyway"

"Baka, it doesn't make it OK" I continue to grumble, but I don't have much fight left in me for this argument at the moment.

"Oh come on your really going to condemn your brother for being gay" He asks me, like I would really care about that.

"What! No I condemn YOU!" I spit at him, its his fault sweet Misaki talked back to me! He's never done that before.

"Pftt for being gay! You must have know that about me" He says, its so irritating how he doesn't even sound phased by this.

"Not for being GAY stupid! For confusing him... " I sulk and pout in the corner of the elevator.

"He's not confused" He tries to corrects me.

"Not over you! And don't think I will not be having words with both of you for lying to me! For confusing him over if he should stay. You promised you would not ask him to stay" I growl at him, it's already clear to me that he will not be coming home with me tonight. I really wanted him to have time away from all this and just think.

"I didn't say those _exact_ words to him so I kept my promise" He says to me flippantly. We reach the parking garage and he lets me exit first.

"You are not off the hook!" I growl at him, this is not what we need to be thinking about now.

"I never dreamed I would be" He says smugly and I can feel him smiling at my back. _I give up!_

He unlocks his new silver car and we climb in. As soon as the doors shut the banter stops.

We pull out of the building and head to our first stop, his fathers legal firm. He needs to file for a paternity test and start legal discussion over custody if he choose to keep him. But it almost seams too late to worry about the IF I get the feeling he wants to keep him regardless. But if Hibiki's real father is out there he has a right to know and accept his son.

As much as he frustrated me over his romance with my kid brother and as many of my buttons as he was pushing this morning it was all to cover his fear. I will not let him face this on his own, I know him and he will spiral in to self doubt if left alone. This women even in death is trying to take his happiness away just like she threatened she would.

However I think she had plans to be the one to ruin it in person, I guess we should be thankful for that one blessing.

The traffic was heavy this morning with weekend commuters not many offices would be open today but the Usami lawyers never stopped. Usagi stopped in the traffic jam even though the lights ahead of us are green. He started to tap his fingers crossly on the steering wheel and I saw his jaws clench. The lights turned red again and he let out a angry sigh and scratched at his shoulder for the tenth time since we got in the car. I expected to see him smoking by now...

"Are you wearing nicotine patches?" I ask him in disbelief.

"What if I am" He growls at me and I hide my smirk by looking away from him.

"No reason. Not the easiest time to try and give up is it" I say to him lightly.

"It's for Misaki" He growls again.

Oh that's surprising he's never given up when ever I harped on about how he should stop, Misaki, my brother do you have super powers?...

Oh of course they are boyfriends! That word makes me grind my teeth... These two men, my closets friend and my only brother... Hid and lied to my face. Granted, they really didn't hide it all that well Manami had been telling me for two years now that she thought there was more between them.

Misaki has never had a female friend let alone a girlfriend that I knew of... but I hopped he was just studying hard to have a good collage life like I couldn't have and experience the school clubs and the simple joys of earning his own money at part time jobs like I never got to do. I worked so hard so he could have what I couldn't...

 _Oh... Misaki is right! I'm trying to control him, trying to make him live as I wished I could._

I was pulled out of my thought as we finally pulled in to the office building, the garage was near empty but it didn't go past either of us that Akihiko's fathers car was one of the ones sitting in the darkened car park. Usagi pulled up a few spots away from it and groaned but we got out of the car and made our way to the lifts.

 _Great this was not going to be fun!_

Usagi used his access pass and we were taken to the lawyers floor, the lack of people and general office noise in a building like this makes it entirely too spooky like a b-grade horror move set. There was no overly cheerful receptionist to greet us and no security guard to glare at us as we entered the office. I did notice the security cameras were still blinking green and the tiny screen behind the desk was still recording. The sensors caused the lights to flick on ahead of us and Usagi walked with purpose to the board room.

If not for the knowledge that his father was even scarier then him it would be simple to believe he ran this entire place. I could hear soft voices as we walked down the corridor and picked out the light chuckle of his father. I saw his shoulders straighten as he picked up on the noise too, he's wound so tight I fear he might just snap before we even start.

 _Please don't let his brother be here too..._

We walked in and two men I didn't know rushed to stand up and bow at Usagi. No sign of his brother good, we might just make it through this.

"Son good to see you" His father said, he sounded like we just meet on a sunny side walk.

"Father, gentlemen" Akihiko nodded to each in turn.

"Takahashi good to see you again too, all going well I hope" He said to me, what dose that even mean I saw him just yesterday. I can not keep up with this man, he's too cleaver for me and it always makes me feel nervous and stupid.

"I'm well thank you sir" I finally say to him.

"You plan to go through with this then Akihiko?" He says to his son who clenches his teeth and nods at the man.

"Takahashi, join me for a coffee and we will let these men get to work" He says carefully, and claps my shoulder as he steers me out of the room. I just let him take me away from the meeting, if I can get his father away from him I will do this.

He closed the board room doors and leans me to the office kitchen area, it's a lovely room, big windows they look down on a grassed courtyard that devoid of people on a Sunday.

He surprises me by knowing how to use the coffee machine and gets two cups ready as the beans grind and brew. He gets the milk out and looks at me, I nod to let him know I take milk.

"Please sit" He instructs as he brings the coffee over to me. I haven't really talked to him this much in many years, since the last time I was here I think. He totally took me by surprise yesterday, I didn't think the he even remembered my name.

I sip the coffee, it's good! That's a surprise, I kind of expected it to be horrid bitter brew like at my office. Man I'm in the wrong company.

"How is your brother doing?" He asks, how dose he know... Oh of course he lives with his son he would know of Misaki.

"He's doing well, he got a placement at Marukawa Publishing and has just completed his thesis" I say, it's hard not to brag about him, best I leave out the fact he's gay, dating this his youngest son and currently not even sure where he's going to live.

"That's good news, you sound proud" He comments and smiles at me, but it's doesn't reach his eyes.

"Yes, sorry to brag but I feel he's doing very well" I say to try and get off the topic of Misaki before he asks about relationships.

"Always good to have goals"

"Yes sir" I agreed awkwardly.

"What's is major?" He ask politely.

"Economics" I mutter at him and try to cover my discomfort by drinking more coffee.

"Interesting choice for a economic major, going in to books... maybe he will be assigned to the cooking section" He says to me using the same flippant tone his son uses on me earlier. His words are not matching his tone.

"I guess it seams odd for the outside, but I'm incredibly proud that he followed through on his major and can find use for the rest of his education" I say, trying not to be to harsh but it's my brother he's about taking and I'm starting to think he's lashing out to cover his own fears.

"True, that is an admirable quality, he's a fine young man" He says as he looks at my eyes, I believe his words this time. I think this is also stressing him out.

"Yes sir" I agree again. We sit in silence and say nothing.

"Sorry if my comments caused you any unrest, I did not mean to upset you" He finally said with a weak smile.

"No problem, I'm sure you must be worried about Akihiko" I say to let him off. His eyes go wide then his proud shoulders slump in defeat.

"Yes I am, sorry again" Wow two apologies from the great Usami!

"How has he been? It's a lot of stress... on us all and to be honest I didn't think he would even stop me last night" He admits to me and keeps looking out the window at the sunny courtyard below so I can't read his eyes.

"He's doing OK, he seams to feel very responsible for he boy" What else can I say that will not come back to hurt Akihiko?

"I can understand, but responsibility is not enough to raise a child. If he was living with that women then he's going to need professional help and more then a feeling of guilt to heal" He says to me and surprises me with his insight to what this child would need.

"I agree with you, but I think it maybe more then responsibility he feels" How can I put this that he will not be able to use it against him.

He puts his head in his hand and we just sit there saying nothing. He straightens after a few minutes and we continue to look out the window as we sip our coffee. After what feels like a very long time, I hear the rushed foot steps of Usagi come down towards us and we both stand up.

"We are leaving" He calls from the hall at me and rushes back off in the other direction to the elevators.

"Thank you for the coffee" I say rushed and bow and hurry to catch up with him before I'm locked inside the building with his father.

He says nothing as I catch up to him, and continues to say nothing as we get in the car and he pulls out of the building with a screech of tires and finally starts loosen his grip on the steering wheel. I leave him alone, he will talk once he feels calm, to push him now will result in my head being bitten off, or may be the car going off the road.

"Usagi" I say and wait for him to talk or yell at me. I get a nod.

"Do you know where you are even going" I ask frustrated at his behavior.

"Yes, father has found his last address already. Seams like his lawyers really don't sleep and have been 'researching' his background" he barks out.

"Ok, they are ... Efficient" May be ruthless, or savage should be the word we are using. How did they know about this kid fast enough to start finding out information like his last address in one night?

" _Efficiency_ is what's required to keep your job when you work for the devil himself" he mutters.

"That's s little harsh Usagi, I'm sure he was trying to help you anyway he could" I reprimand, after all we have been searching for his last address too. Granted, we only got as far as narrowing down a location and it would have taken a lot of foot work to ask all the places on my list until we found one that he had been at.

" _Help_. That's a pretty word. But so far from the truth it's not even funny. The lawyers let slip that father was planning to take the kid and put him in a permanent placement outside Sapporo and needed to know if they could buy silence from his former carer" His hands grip the wheel tight as we weave through the traffic "I have 72hours before his plan is put into motion if by then I can't lay legitimate claim to Hibiki the lawyers are instructed to offer this deal to them and the kid will disappear"

"Like Kira" I say, now I understand where is anger is coming from.

"Similar, she managed to stay in the Tokyo area, but he will not have no choice" He mutters and continues to make dangerous driving choices.

"Akihiko" I start... This is not going to be easy. I fidget on my seat and start playing with the phone in my hand.

"What" He growls at me as we pull into a more suburban looking area. Good we can't be as much risk on the road to other drivers now.

 _Just say it! If I'm truly his friend I will make him face the entire situation._

"Usagi... What if he's not yours?" I ask and look at him, his jaw clenched up and he will not look at me. He pulls over smoothly and removes his seat belt. Turns to me and I see old pain on his face.

"Takahashi, I know I have hurt you by keeping Misaki and my relationship from you. And I know Misaki feels betrayed and heart broken by my actions and for both I am deeply sorry and wish I could do any of this over to show both of you how much you mean to me. But I can't.

What I can do is make the right choices now, this kid deserves a home with kindness not a house filled with cold indifference and people that only care about money. " He answers me.

"That women hurt me to my core, and with out you I would not have been pulled out of my madness. but if you think I suffered over two short years you tell me what little Hibiki would have had to endure over the six first years of his life?" He asks me seriously.

I shake my head sadly, I don't have an answer for him, true I had not really wanted to put a lot of thought into what might have happened to the kid. But now I'm the one not willing to face the entire situation if I ignore it any longer.

"She was not stupid, and she was a long term planner." He continues after I say nothing. "I know she would have used Hibiki to hurt me. She would know there could be no probable cause to doubt. I am neatly 100% sure he is mine. That she had plans to reveal him to me after his 7th birthday I also have no doubt of. The lawyers advised that by then it would have be too late for me to claim full custody but she got sick over her own addiction and her plans failed her."

I nod at him, all of what he is saying is true, I let him continue.

"Even if he's not mine, I can not let father steal him away and make him disappear, I will do what's right. I'm done running and hiding and I'm done hurting Takahiro... I have to make this right. If he's not mine that's fine too, I will find his real father and sort something out... I have to... Please help me" He is pleading with me, I just nod and put my hand on his arm to let him know I support him.

I see his shoulders slump in relief that I'm still with him on this quest to make up for his past errors.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

He nodded accepted that I needed to do this, I have hurt to many people already I need to start to make things right.

I put my belt back on and pull back into traffic, I know the address of his last placement, it's the small church across the road from the funeral home the Takahashi parents service in held in. I hate how everything keeps twisting around our past like this. It's not far from here and we drive the last few minutes in uncomfortable silence, so much unsaid between old friends.

"I know this street" Takahashi comments to me as I pull across traffic into the church's small driveway. He twists in his seat and looks behind us "is that?" He asks.

"Yes, sorry I didn't mention it earlier" I honestly didn't know his to bring this up, so I said nothing.

"No problem" He says as he unbuckles and gets out of the car before me.

He waits and we walk to the side door together, he knocks for me after I stall too long and looks back over his shoulder at the funeral home. The door opens and a very tall young sandy haired priest stands before us, he is wearing the black robes of the Christian faith and his white collar is a sharp contrast against all the black. He tucks his slim hands in to the opposite sleeves of his robe and smiles with nothing but warmth at us in his light blue eyes.

"Hello, how may I help. Service is not till six but the chapel is open if you wish to pray in peace." He says warmly to us. I look at the two big doors to our right and notice Takahashi turn again to look at the building behind us. It makes me want to get inside so we can shut it out.

"Thank you, but we have not come to pray. We have great need to talk with Father Kudo Ryouta, can you direct us to him?" I ask and throw in one of my professional smiles. He pulls the door closed behind him as he steps out in to the sun to join us.

"I may be of some help, can I ask what this is concerning?" He sounds nervous now and I can almost see his walls go up.

Takahashi has given up all effort to not look at the dammed building and is standing half towards me and half towards it, like it might do something if he doesn't keep an eye on it. For now I don't think he will be of any help. OK, charm was not getting us access to the man, would brutal honestly?

But I don't get a chance to try... as a five year old girl and preteen comes running around the corner. The younger girl is bawling her eyes out and the older one is holding a hair brush and cute white cat hair ties with a look of frustration on her face.

The youngest comes crashing into the priests legs and cries "Father Kudo save me. Kaede is hurting me!"

The older girl stops close to the priest and puts her hands on her hips and her mouth drops open in outrage.

"Why you little..." She thinks twice of what ever she was going to say as the Father clears his throat then reaches down to confront the young girl who is hiding her self in his robes.

"The boys put gum in her hair and I was TRYING to get it out!" Kaede said with so much drama and stands there waiting with her arms crossed and her foot tapping in irritation.

The younger one pokes her tongue out at her and turned back to hide her face. The priest bends down and make the little one look at him "Is what Kaede says true?" The girl nods and sniffs for dramatic effect.

"You know she was just trying to help right?" He waits for her to nod "Don't be mad at her, ask her to be more careful if it hurts or let her know if it was scaring you" The kids sniffs one more time and nods, she turns and mutters sorry to the older girl.

"Good girls, can you please finish getting ready around the back, I need to speak with these two men" He asks and the girls nod and run away holding hands like nothing ever happened between them. I raise my eye brow at this priest in question. _Why not tell us you are who we were looking for?_

"Sorry, please come in. I am, as you now know, Father Kudo Ryouta"He lets us in to his small office and we sit as he shuts the door behind us.

The room is very clean and the heavy wooden desk and floors shine with sunlight streaming in from the large window behind the desk. There is a painting of the last supper in the wall to my left and a simple wooden cross on the wall to my right above a half filled small book case that has children's bibles and and hymn books piled haphazardly on top of each other. On the desk is a old computer and a stack of papers, I see in the middle of his desk with a yellow bookmark holding his place a copy of my newest book Summer Has Come it's sitting in top of a well read bible that has many pages dog eared and the gold on the edges of the book faded in places. The chair he sits in creaks a little as it accepts his tall frame and he folds his hands together on the top of my book.

"Some times you need something a little lighter then the good book, he's a wonderful author have you read any of his works?" He asks me as he noticed where I'm looking and lifts the book off the bible shyly.

Takahashi stifles a scoff with his hand and moves in his chair nervously. I glare at him. _Shut up you silly man! People like my books!_

"Ah, not a fan then... never mind" He mutters as he moves both books to the side of his desk. And Takahashi stifles another giggle.

"On the contrary sir, he is a very big fan of his work" Takahashi says to the priest and I kick him under the front of the desk.

"OK then. How can I help you gentlemen?" He asks confused over our reactions.

"We need to talk to you about Arashi Hibiki"I say as I sober up.

"Sadly I don't think I will be able to help you with that, he is no longer placed here. Sorry to have wasted you time" He says and moves the bible back to the centre of his desk making it clear he is trying to dismiss us.

"So he _was_ here" I ask I'm not going to let him brush me aside like this.

"Yes, and like _I said_ he is no longer placed here" the Father says his voice has gone hard and bright blue eyes narrow in anger.

"We know this, can you tell us when you lost him?" I ask, I can be just as cryptic. But I feel it's not getting us anywhere and my hours are ticking down. _I don't have time to waste on stupid games._

"Lost him! I'm sorry gentlemen but it is time for you to leave. If you need to know more you will need to talk to the police, please leave" He says and opens his bible and tries to ignore us. I stay seated but this man is pissing me off, Takahiro puts a hand on my arm as signal to be quite and let him talk.

"Sorry Father, I know we look suspicious and you know nothing about us. But I am Takahashi Takahiro and this is my good friend. I understand if you don't want to give us information about one of your charges, however we do not come to you with any malicious intent" He has calmed the priest down who is at least looking at us again. He nods for us to continue and I let him lead this conversation.

"We have little Hibiki in our care, he is fine a bit worn out from being on the run but he's ok"

"Oh thank you Lord" He says and raises his eyes and hands in a quick prying gesture to the ceiling I nearly look up to see what he's looking at before I realise he is actually thanking the Lord.

"Sorry, I have several children in my care and need to be careful who I talk to about what... as two of them are safe house placements" The softness is back on his face and in his eyes.

"No problem" Takahashi says and removed his hand from my arm, a signal that he's happy for me to take over.

"Sir..." I start, look at my friend and he nods to say what needs to be said so we don't walk away empty handed "... Do you know why he kept running?" I ask instead and get a raised brow from Takahiro.

"I believe he was looking for his father, he had it in his head that he knew where he was and even who he was but he never opened up to me. He barely even said more then five words to me each day. He never trusted me I guess, I was the sixth placement he had been in since they found him and I think the previous abuse caused him to close off. He did talk to Kaede a small amount but never anything about him self" he said to us.

 _Sixth placement and he ran from all of them, ran so he could find me._

"He was looking for me" I finally admitted.

"Sorry, your his father?" He asked with wide shocked eyes.

"I think so, I'm not completely sure"

"You think so?" He sounded mad at me.

"I knew his mother, I was in .. a relationship... If we want to call it that. We ..went our separate ways around seven years ago. His age lines up with the time I was with her" I explain.

"Look, sorry to say this about the dead, and I should not judge but she appeared to be a unfit mother. Hibiki has scars on his body and his heart. Why only come forward now, I know she was rich previously but she spent it all drugs and there is nothing left for you to take. Please bring the child back here and we can pretend we ever had this conversation I just want him safe again" the Father asks us in a clam voice and sits up to his full height in his chair behind his desk.

"Do you think we are trying to use him as BLACKMAIL?" I spat my accusation at him and rise out of my seat putting both my hands on his desk in a threatening pose as I lean towards the vile man, my eyes narrow in hatred and if not for his dam white collar I think I would have punched him by now. Takahashi pulled me back to my seat roughly and I turned my anger towards him, but he's ignoring me.

"Father Kudo, we are not after money at all" He explained to the slightly frightened priest.

"They all say that! I don't want him hurt he's a frighten kid who needs help. Bring him back" He sticks to his first point and moves his gaze back to me.

"Usagi, pass me your drivers license" Takahiro asks out of the blue... _what for?_ I don't understand but I got it out of my wallet for him and passed it to him confused.

"If I show you proof that we are not in it for the money will you give us any personal belonging he had and his old home address?" He asks the priest as I finally catch up with his plan. The priest narrows his eyes again but nods his agreement.

"Good, now pass me that novel and a pen and I will give you our proof" He asks the Father.

The priest is looking confused but courtesy won out as he passes both over to my friend. Takahashi hands the book and pen to me to sign. I sigh dramatically and open the book on the desk, as he hands my drivers license over to Father Kudo.

I sign the inside cover of his copy of my book with the words 'I told you so' and my signature and turn it around and push it back to the priest so he can read and compare it against the signature in my license. His eyes go wide and flick between the book, the licence and my face. He looks at the dust jacket of the book and looks at the photo of me in my suit I should give him a dazzling show smile but I don't feel like it. That is until Takahiro gives me a light kick and I throw in my photo shoot smile so I look the same as the stupid picture. He just suddenly laughs at us, it's a deep laugh that comes from his gut.

"Your a very big fan of yours indeed!, oh sorry sorry sorry." He passes my license back to me and gets up for behind his desk. Picks up the office phone and chuckles until someone on the other end answers. "Ah Hanna, can you please bring me Hibiki's things... have two gentleman who have need of them... yes right way if you could. Thank you my dear."

... ...

The box of the child's belongings is sitting on the floor in the back seat. It held a few clothes a small toy truck and a worn book of Gon The Little Fox. That was it, that's all he had left to carry from his previous life. I don't know if he lost anything else he had during all the homes moved through or if he never had anything he considered important enough to hold on to but it made me feel deep unease.

Takahiro has the a paper with the women's address on it, it's been six months so we may not find anything but he did found out that is is now on the market for sale. He has already called the listing agent who agreed to meet us at the house shortly. We are following directions from his phones navigation app and we are both lost in our own thoughts. It's a short drive to get to the house, it would have been a long walk for a six year old to make if this is where he kept running back to.

We pull up to the house and look at it from the car. It's a plain white stand alone house and fits in well with the rest of the street. The garden looks like it has been only recently pulled back from going wild and the for sale sign swings happily in the fading afternoon light. It looks hollow and empty to me and I instantly hate the place. They are going to have a hard time selling this house it is well known that a death has occurred here and it's value will not rise again for a few years till people started to forget.

"Let's get this over with" I say to my friend and we get out of the car, smile kindly at a neighbor who walks by with his dog as we walk up to the door like we belong here.

The estate agent is waiting for us at the entrance and smiles his money grabbing smile at to us. We greet and bow to each other and he opens the house for us. He is going on about the classic finishing and how the light will shine in the front room in the mornings. But I don't really hear him. Takahashi is fawning all over him and distracting him while I look around. A house that caused a young child so much pain should not look this clean and put together.

"Is this the previous owners furniture?" I ask and the question trips him mid selling pitch and he nods to me with a frown.

"Oh they have a garden out back too! How wonderful can you show me that?" Takahashi asks him and he leads him away.

Giving me my chance to look in the draws that line the living room wall. Nothing, there is nothing I can use. I crack pipe chimes merrily in the draw as I slam it shut. I straighten up as they come back in. Takahiro asks me a question with his eyes and I shake my head.

"Can we see upstairs now?" He says and waits for the agent to lead the way.

There are three bedrooms and one bathroom upstairs. It would be a lovely house for a young family but the smell of bleach is not quite covering the smell of decay and old mold in the bathroom. I notice the agent will not go into this room. So this is where she was growing cold with death while her son was waiting for someone to find him.

I walked over the threshold and tried not to shudder as Takahashi lead the man to the bedrooms. I looked in all the cupboards and found nothing at all, the house has been cleaned out of all clutter. No doubt to get it ready to sell. I followed them into a bedroom, a small child's room. The smell of paint was faint but still lingered and the furniture looked new.

"Oh you asked if the furniture was the previous owners, if you like we can incorporate that in the sales of the house. However all the furniture in this room and the other child's room are hire as it they were near empty when we put it on the market at the start of the month so they would need to be returned." The agent informs us. "Ah not you two would need children's furniture he quickly covered his embarrassment.

"Oh of course not, but who knows maybe we will get lucky, ah honey?" Takahiro plays right into his hands and keeps it light.

I just growl at him. This is a old act we used to play when we were freshmen and people would try and call me out on if I was in to men or not. Well he played it and I just tried to keep it going.

"Oh never mind my honey, he's just grumpy cause he's trying to quit smoking" He continues and winks at me and it makes me smile slightly. _Hope you are enjoying your self you silly man!_

"Can we see the master room now?" He asks the confused agent who nods and leads us to the main room.

Again the smell of paint is lingering here and the tidiness of this room pisses me off! She was not a overly tidy person when she was with me but this room is showroom spotless I bet the crew have been over every crevice of this room too and have left nothing of use behind. Takahashi is doing a good job of keeping the man distracted while I try to control my face.

"Can I see the kitchen again, I want to imagine what it will look like once grumpy here lets me renovated it" He gushed at the agent who could almost see the money pouring from us, a wealthy gay couple with enough money to burn to renovate the kitchen.

"Of course this way" He leads Takahiro back downstairs.

As soon as they are gone I instantly start opening draws and the wardrobe but like down stairs it's void of anything at all. Bare walls and empty shelves mock me and I want to scream in frustration. I rub my forehead a few times and close my eyes. We are running out of time, how can I prove even in part that who's he is. I have to stop my father. As lovely as the priest was he will not be able to resist to the lies my father will spin him and the healthy sum he will get will allow him to buy as many.. _Bibles_...

I scan the show room ready book shelves for her dammed bible... I hope its here.. she was in no part religious but would hide things she didn't want me to see in a hollowed out bible. There is is. I flicked it open quickly to check it had something in it and I tucked it behind my back hastily as I heard the agent come back up stairs and I rushed to the door to meet him. I force a smile on my face and I meet Takahiro worried eyes over the agents shoulder.

"I was just coming down to meet you, I think we have found what we wanted don't you Takahashi dear" I said to let him know I found something.

His eyes widened and he put his hand to his mouth as he took a sharp intake of breath. This drew the agents eyes to him in worry, and gave me enough time to move the bible and I hide under my sweater as I tucked it into the belt of my pants so it will not move.

"Oh really, that's wonderful " We walked down the stairs as I motion that it was time to leave. He stood at the door and waited for us to join him.

"Thank you for your time, we will be in touch" Takahiro said politely with a bow to the agent.

"Hang on dear" I mocked him and I saw him grimace at me while the agents back turned away from him. "I will buy the house for the agreed market value. And including the cost of furniture. Let on one else see it. Please send the papers to this email address and we can arrange a holding deposit today until it is finalised" I said and got a card out of my wallet and write my lawyers details on it. I have decided I will buy the place after all, and bulldoze the whole thing down.

The agent looked shocked but quickly recovered and bowed deeply to me and then to Takahashi who looked just as shocked. The agent looks nervous at my 'partners' reaction but smiles back at me. His concern was not lost on Takahashi who cones up to me and hugs my arm in fake delight and beans his own dazzling smile at the realtor.

"Yes sir, right away" he bows again "congratulations on your purchase"

"Sorry to rush off but we have an appointment we must get to, please contact my lawyer immediately he will respond to your request with in the hour" I say and we walk out the front door of our new home.

I walk in front of Takahiro in hope the bible is not showing through my sweater but to be honest I don't think the agent would even notice if we walked out with the kitchen sink at this moment I'm sure he was in shock from selling this house to us so quickly.

I unlock the car and we both get in, put our belts on and I pull out of the curb with more care then I have before. I need to look normal, nice and normal.

* * *

A/N: Sorry if this has a few errors in it, I want to get this completed before my month long oversea's trip that's coming up soon - as I can not stand this being left not completed and leaving you all on a cliff hanger. So I have been publishing the chapters quicker then I perhaps should, and entirely way too early in the hours of the morning in most cases... should sleep... need sleep.. must type...


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I know I should not be driving like this, it was just such an effort to keep my eyes from wonder to the hollowed out bible sitting on my friends lap. He hasn't opened it yet but holds it tightly as if it might disappear on us. I weave out of traffic in a dangerous manner force myself to control my speed. No use giving Misaki another reason to yell at me. I am forced to stop at lights and Takahiro turns to me his dark eyes holding a hundred questions I didn't have answers for. I nearly ask him to tear the cover off and demand he find the answers inside. The lights change ahead of me and I let driving distract me once again.

Takahiro's phone rings from his pocket and he looks at me apologetically as he pulls it out and his face lights up as he shifts the book to the console between us.

"Hello Misaki" He says and just his name releases one of the knots around my heart.

"Oh, yes that's fine... oh that's good" His eyes flick up to me "… Misaki... No..." He looked at me and moved slightly towards the window.

It was hard to hear the other side of the conversation as Misaki talked so softly. I could see Takahiro getting irritated as he put a hand to cover his eyes as he listened "Look, can we talk about this soon. We will be back shortly... No Misaki" I heard him complain down the phone "... come on you will be fine..." He looks back at me and frowns "We will talk about this when we arrive... Misaki, good bye" He says as he shuts off the call quickly and smiles weakly at me, but it didn't cover up the fact he just argued with his brother, no doubt about if he was staying at mine or not.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

"Yes, they all are fine it was getting late and was checking when we will arrive as Manami is there now. They have giving dinner to the kids" He says and shuffles in his seat, that was clearly not all they were talking about and I glare at him.

"And..." I prompt.

"And nothing... he was just getting confused is all. No problem" He says quickly and motions for me to keep my eyes on the road.

 _Now I know you are lying to me silly man._

We pull into the under ground parking building of the condo and I switch off the engine but make no move to get out. I look at the book that sits so innocently between us and unbuckle my seat beat. If it holds nothing that can help, I'm not sure what we can do next.

I honestly can't tell if I want it to be something or not.

"Its best to check it now" Takahashi says softly, and I nod. It is better we check it now, here away from Misaki and the child.

If I find something I don't like we don't have to action it, we are the only two that know of this dammed book we can hide its content's if we need to. Stalling will not make the contents magically change to what I need. I flip the lid and look down at the inside.

There is so little in here. I lift out three upside down photos and turn them over. One is of me a year after I had left her, it was taken from a low angel at a used book dealers I used to go to all the time. I pass it to Takahashi who's leaning over me to see.

The next is of a pregnant Kira standing in a sun light living room, wearing a white summer baby doll dress and her hair is framing her smiling face but her golden eyes look too hard and too smug, and the manicured hands that hold a teddy bear just above her large abdomen remind me of the hurt they can cause.

The last is of a tiny baby boy only a few months old, he's sitting up with the help of the long pillow behind his back and is smiling directly at the camera while he holds a little truck. It's the same toy truck as the one in the box behind me and I finally realise I'm looking a Hibiki as a baby. He's so tiny with so much promise ahead of him, his eyes are clear and bright with no shadow of fear. He's a dazzlingly beautiful baby dressed in a little baby blue and white long sleeved outfit, pink happy cheeks and a wisp of ash blond hair on his head. I turn it again and see her script on the back _'little Hibiki 3 months old - looks like his daddy Akihiko'_. I turn it back over and look at the tiny little boy, I wish I knew him like this, sadly I pass it to Takahiro.

"3 months he's a small baby" He comments and puts the three photos in a pile on his knee.

I move aside a sealed envelope not willing to open it just yet and see a tiny hospital band, it's has Hibikis name on it and written in fine penmanship I can just read _'Usami Hibiki'_ I run the tiny band of plastic between my fingers and finally pass it to my friend.

"Must have changed his family name as her own on his certificate" He says and I hmmm at him. I can't talk, just thinking about Hibiki as a tiny helpless baby at the mercy of her is making it hard to think let alone talk.

I try not to touch the envelope and pick up the last photo in the bottom of the box. It's of Kira at a hospital holding a new born baby in her arms and I see the women who I thought she was when I meet her. In her photo she looks so kind, gentle and proud. She held the baby with so much care and affection - anyone would be loathed to take this child away from such a women. This is the face she would have shown the outside world. Loving and caring mother to all but the tiny child in her arms. I put my hand to my mouth and felt my stomach churn. My face goes cold and white, all sound started to leech away from me and I can no longer hear the words of concern Takahashi was calling to me.

I felt like I was going to pass out. I think I _want_ to pass out, it would be easier then feeling all if this, it's like I can feel the fear Hibiki would have grown up with and the desperate need he would have for this women to be someone she can't. It's the same need I had, the pain of wanting to see the glimpse of the kindness she showed others and to be the one she is pleased at, to be the one she smiles for and not to be hurt - even though you know you caused her to do it to you.

Every seldom given smile she gave me was both light and shadow to me as it came with as much warmth that was laced with even more pain. Just like a man trapped in the dark I wanted that harsh and hurtful light to comfort me, but every time it would bring more misery then before. Sound starts to bleed back to me and I feel Takahiro gently shaking my shoulder.

 _He's waiting for a answer._

"I'm alright" I mutter to him and he breaths a sigh of relief.

"Come on, let's go" He says to me moved to open his door, but turns as he realised I'm not moving. I blink at him and let go of the picture in my hand

... _I'm not alright... help..._

"Ready" He asks, and I nod slowly at him. But I still can't seam to move. He finally gives up on me and puts all the contents back in the bible and takes the book from my leg where it was resting. He gets out of the car, comes around to my side and looks at me in worry. He pulls on my arm till I start to move. I can't break the fog of confusion in my mind. I vaguely remember this numb feeling but can't seam to care enough to do more then blindly follow him.

"Come on Usagi! You can not shut down like last time" He scolds and frowns at me as we walk to the lift, I hear my car make a beep as Takahiro must have locked it. I look down at the bible he's holding and feel a sharp of pain again.

 _...No... I want to lock that feeling away._

The lift feels weird and it makes me start to feel cold and light headed again. He knocks on the door and it swings open to reveal the smiling face of my friends girlfriend.. _oh no she his wife now._ I smile at her and try to hold my own weight.

"What happened" She rushes to my side and reached to help me but I shy away from her .. _. she will hurt...don't touch..._

"Best leave him to me love, can you help with the door. I think he's in some sort of shock" He says and she closes the door behind us as he moves me into the entrance way, I remember we take off our shoes here and I start to move out of mine.

"He was like this when they broke up too, he just seams to shut down" I could hear his words but not make out the meanings of them. "I want to put him in the front lounge, can you make sure you keep the boys away from him for a bit"

"Yes give me a second, should I send in..." She asks him.

"No not yet, let me get him inside and see if I can get some sense out of him" He says and I lean on him as he leads me in after she left us alone, the room seams bright and warm.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Manami comes rushing in, picks up Mahiro from the floor and passes him to me as confusion and panic cross her face. I want to know what's going on I heard Niichan's voice but not Akihiko's . Did he not come home with him? Is Niichan that mad at me for arguing with him earlier that he's come to collect me first?

"Can you take the kids out side for a few minutes?" She asks and I nod, she watches me to be sure I'm moving away.

 _...What's going on.. am I really just in the way?_

Hibiki is trying to open the heavy sliding door for me I help him open it and we are shut out from the warmth of the house. I look down at little Hibiki and I can tell he feels as shut out and cut off as I do. I smile at him and jiggle Mahiro on my hip as he starts to fuss from being taken away from his mother. I look around but there really is nothing out here to distract him with, at least its not cold out here.

I stand there stupidly and look up through the glass as Mahiro keeps fussing and starts to reach for his father on the other side of the glass door. Niichan has Usami close behind him, and it al looks like my brother is dragging the man along like a sullen child. What's wrong with him? He looks out of it, like he's drunk.

 _Oh he better not be drunk it's not truly night time yet... and he has a kid to look after...he should know better!_

Takahashi Leads him to the TV room and shuts the doors, Manami is looking just as bewildered as me and I open the door as she nods at me.

"Isn't it a bit early for him to be drinking?" I grumble at her as I pass the fussing toddler back.

I sit on the red sofa and lift my foot from the ground. It's throbbing again as I didn't get a chance to take any more pain killers while the kids had dinner. Hibiki sits quietly next to me, he's been my shadow since Niichan and Akihiko left just before lunch. He's a very quite child and I feel bad asking him to help with everything but he seams happy to do it and if he decided to run away I would not be able to chase after him so I should be pleased he's being no trouble. Manami is collecting all of the toddlers belongings and looks like she wants to leave soon.

"I don't think he's drunk dear" she says absently to me as her attention is taken away by a muffled noise on the other side of the closed doors.

Hibiki stands up and looks between me and the door nervously, this is undoing all the work I have done today to relive the fear in the boy. He clutches his bear tight to his chest and I share a worried look with Manami. I get passed the toddler again, he snuggles into my arms and rubs his eyes as he starts to get sleepy.

"I'm going to check on them" She says and leaves the room.

"Come and sit up here Hibiki, we can read Echo and Mahiro a story" I say and the child climbs up on the sofa next to me. I open one of the books next to me and I angle it so he can see the pictures. I feel the babys limbs start to relax as he's lulled to sleep by my voice. Hibiki gets closer to me, not quite touching but very close as he's pulled in to the story. I see Manami come back out and shut the door softly and she smiles and nods at me.

Niichan comes out of the room shortly after her and stands with his back to the closed doors. He looks tired and worried, his head is hung low and he puts a hand to his eyes. I look down and continue the story for Hibiki who is now leaning against my arm as he looks at the pictures and listens to the tale.

Niichan comes over to his wife standing next to the sofa and wraps her frame in his arms. She holds him just as tight and mummers a hello to him. I read the last page and look at Hibiki who's looking at the book in my hands. I pass it to him and he takes it and sits next to me again with his bear sitting in his lap he turns the book back to the start and look at the pictures in the book. Maybe reliving the story I jut told him.

"What's going on?" I ask Niichan and he looks at Hibiki and softly shakes his head.

"Niichan, please tell me" I beg and look at the closed doors.

I long to see them burst open and the proud arrogant Akihiko to be standing there telling us all how rude it is to eat commoners curry with out him and if we aren't going to share then our guests should just leave.

But the doors stay closed and the house stays quite. I have had it! I need to know what's going on with Usami... I told Niichan on the phone that I can handle it and that this is the best place for me to be right now and it's time to prove it. I shuffle forward on the couch and Manami takes her sleeping child and she holds him close and rocks him gently.

Niichan goes to stop me and I glare at him angrily "Niichan!" I caution him not to stop me and limp to the door. I stand at them unknown what's in the other side. Niichan is next to me and puts a hand in my shoulder.

"Misaki" He says and I shrug him off but look at him, he sighs and nods "He may not respond to you but try to get through to him" I nod and swallow.

"What happened?" I ask.

"He's shut away from his feelings, I guess today over loaded him and brought back bad memories" I nod again as I open the door and quietly slip into the room.

Akihiko is on the ground with his back to the couch, his knees are pulled up to his chest with his elbows propped up on top of them as he holds his hands over his face effectively shutting the world out. This great man, this beautiful, tall and strong man looks like a child's broken toy.

I limp towards him quietly and kneel down next to him, my hand hovers over his head but I let it drop with out touching him. He reminds me of his son and it is tearing a hole in my chest.

"Akihiko" I call and he makes no indication of even hearing me.

"Akihiko" I try again and touch his shoulder, still nothing.

"Usami... hello..." I try shaking him lightly and he still gives me no reaction.

I look at the closed doors in worry, _should I get help?_

I sit directly in front of him, being careful to not put pressure on my foot. I need him to look at me, to see I'm here. I call his name a few more times but it's not working... Dose he just need more time?

"... Come on let me help you.. " I whisper to the still room and say the one thing I can think of that will get through to him.

"Usagi... " He stirs a little and I call again "Usagi... move your hands" He lowers his hands away from his face and his hair falls to hide his eyes but is at least doing what I asked him to do.

I reach out and touch the side of his head softly, he leans in to my hand and moves his head so my palm touches his face. His eyes are closed but I feel no tears. I'm not really too surprised I think I have tears enough for the both of us.

"Usagi... look at me" I ask him gently and his lavender eyes open slightly but he makes no move to meet mine "... please" I beg and he finally raises but they look right through me and I'm sure he's not seeing anything, or even knows where he is.

"Usagi... talk to me" I ask but he just blinks at me, again he's looking right through me. I let his face go and he replaces his hands back over his eyes. Shutting me out again.

I sit there and just stare at him, what do I do? If he's like Hibiki I should not touch him too much I could not bear to see him flinch at my touch like little Hibiki dose. So I keep sitting, and he keeps hiding from the world and his pain.

"Do you even know who I am?" I wonder out loud, this is worse then I thought. I don't know what to do. I need help. I get up and turn to leave. Niichan is right, he has shut down.

"Misaki..." I hear him whisper in pain and it pulls on my heart. I turn back to him, he's still on the floor but his hands are away from his face, He's looking my way but I still see blank empty eyes. Come on Usagi we need you to come back to us.

It's going to hurt me to force him to function again but Hibiki needs him. _…I need him._

He makes no further movement towards me and wonder if he even called my name or if I imagined it. I feel the tickle of fresh tears on my check. I close my eyes and take a small step backwards, I open them and he's still sitting there looking at me but not seeing still.

 _I'm sorry, please forgive me..._

"I'm going to walk away now... Niichan will take me home... I will stay... only if you ask me" I say to this broken man, it hurts to push him like this but I can't think of anything else to try. He's the only one that can break out of his own hell, he's the only one that can choose to let the feelings in and face the world again.

I wish my tears would stop but I can never make them stop when I need them to. I don't want this watery painful vision of my proud Usagi to be my last. If he can't call out to me, then I will let him go it will prove that I'm am not what he needs. I turn and walk to the closed doors with my back to him I wait... and wait... but I can't keep waiting... I tried and can't push him any more... Its time to leave him, maybe Niichan can help him where I can't.

No sound from behind me. No rush of movement. I close my eyes. Niichan was right after all I am a child who knows nothing, if I can't even help the one man I think I love what use am I?

"I .. I love you Usagi... Good bye" I say quietly and open the door a fraction.

"Misaki?" I hear called from behind me, his voice is low but strong.

I turn towards him to check he was the one that really said it. Clear lavender eyes see me this time... they look at me so worried and hurt that I'm going to walk away. But the are looking at me, not through me.

"Misaki" He calls again and raised up from the floor, he use the furniture to help lift him up like it hurts. He sits on the edge of the sofa and keeps his eyes on me his hand goes to cover his mouth and the other holds his middle. This is a pose I'm sadly getting used to seeing on him, he's thinking of her and trying to stop the pain of the past from overwhelming him. At least he's starting to feel again.

"Don't go... please..." He begs me and I finally rush to his side.

He stays sitting but pulls me into a tight hug and presses his face to my chest. I lean over him and cradle his head and cry silent tears into his hair. It hurt so much not to touch him these last few days and it hurts 100 times more to know that went I finally do touch him - it's because he's in pain.

"Don't go... Misaki... I need you ... more then anyone else ever will... Stay" He pleads to me and I never want to leave him again. I will think of something to tell Niichan later.

"I will stay" I say softy to him and I feel tension leave his shoulders.

His breathing becomes ragged and I rub his back as he clings to me like I'm his anchor, I never thought he would need an anchor he's always been so strong, so sure and always so in charge. I feel hot tears start to soak my shirt as he finally lets the pain be felt and accepted. They don't last long and all to quickly he's pulled him self together. His grip on me loosens and he looks at me with lavender eyes that shine with relief and old hurt.

I bend down and give him a chase kiss on the lips to let him know that I love him even if he's a tear soaked mess. The quick kiss is followed by a deeper kiss and I pull away from him gently. Look at him in the eye and say what I should have said to him years ago.

"I... love you Usagi"

His eyes go wide and his smile creeps into place "and I love you... Probably" he responds to me.

I roll my eyes at his lame jab at me and kiss him lightly again. I hear a throat being cleared loudly from the doorway and we both look at each other in shock and glance over to see the man standing there with his arms crossed and a pissed off look on his face.

I go to move out of Usagi's tight embrace but he will not let me go, and to be honest I don't want to let him go either. He just started to act like himself, I don't want him to go back to being a shell of a man. I see Manami poke her head around the cross man and giggle at us. Hibiki's little face also comes into view by her legs and his eyes go wide.

 _Oh dear mother and father in heaven please forgive me I fear I have caused Niichan to a lot of bother..._


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Declarations of love and... kissing!

I go to check on them and I'm confronted with kissing!

I clear my throat very loudly and wait for the pair of trapped deer to see the headlights. I cross my arms so I don't lash out and tap my foot as I wait for them to turn to me.

 _My word! This is not how I wanted to catch my brother comforting my best friend!_

They turn guilty eyes towards me, I feel Manami come up behind me and giggle at whole scene. I'm sure she's laughing at me too! I growl at her, little Hibiki has come to see what's going on and looks in to see the great fool of a man stop extremely embarrassed Misaki from getting out of his arms.

Usami glares at me and dears me to say anything and Misaki can't even meet my eyes he's still pushing lightly away from Usagi but he's not trying very hard. I clear my throat again and Misaki actually starts to try's to break away from the man as he sees the kid looking at them.

"Usagi... let go" He whines and the stupid man just keeps glaring at me and holds my brother even tighter.

I frown at his behavior and lean against the door jab waiting for what ever excuse they are going to give me this time. If Misaki can't admit this ...relationship in front of me soon then going to insist he move out once this has settled down a bit.

Akihiko and I keep staring at each other, he knows I'm pissed at him - not so much for the actual relationship but the lies to me, his lies I could get over but he has taught Misaki how to lie - that's something I'm not OK with. Mother and father would have wanted me to bring him up right and lying to his family is not right.

"Usagi... LET GO" Misaki growls lightly to him and goes even redder the longer we all stand here. I see Hibiki shift nervously and Manami is sill smiling at the men with mischief in her eyes.

"Ha ha ha Niichan... This is... It's not... Usagi let go" My kid brother really starts to struggle this time and he starts to punch the man's shoulder harmlessly.

"Stop hurting him" Hibiki cries and rushed into the room. He runs to Misaki and pulls at Akihiko's arms trying to let my brother escape.

 _Oh no … this has turned bad very quickly._

Usami lets Misaki go quickly and he falls backward as he's freed unexpectedly and ends up falling in a heap on the ground. Hibiki stands in front of him as he protects him by throwing his tiny arms out to bar Usami.

Tears streak down Hibiki's face. I think he's as quick to cry as Misaki is, but he has determination on his face that he will not let Usami touch Misaki again.

"You don't get to hurt him... If ... If you want to hurt someone you hurt me!" He announced to the room his tiny high voice saying words no six year old should ever have to say.

Manami is now starting to cry next to me and I put my arm around her in comfort and to stop her moving towards the kid. I know she wants to scoop him up and hug him to death but it will only set him in more of a panic. Akihiko is staring at the kid and flicks his eyes to Misaki in a plead for him to help resolve this.

"Hibiki... It's OK he was not hurting me" My brother says and gently touches the boys shoulder but the little protector will not budge.

"Honestly he was not hurting me at all, sorry it must have looked like that but it was not anything like a fight." The kid lowers his arms but still will not let Usami out of his tear filled sight.

"Hibiki. I promise Usagi would never hurt me or you like that ever " Misaki says as he gets up and moved to be in front of the kid and purposely turns his back in Usami.

He gets him to look at him and the kids tears stop as Misaki smiles at him. Akihiko moved to fast behind my brother and the kid has fear back in his eyes. I want to rush in to help, but more movement will most likely set the kids fear off again.

"It's OK... I promise... You trust me right? " He asks the kid as his golden eyes move back to Akihiko.

"Yes... but you wanted to leave and... he was... tying to stop you.. hurting you" Hibiki says as he lowers his head and his tears fall to the floor.

"Thank you" Misaki says to the kid "You were willing to protect me and stand up a friend that's very brave of you".

 _Wow, when did my kid brother grow up and see the world differently._

I look down at my wife and she gives me a look that says she knows what I'm thinking and thinks I'm a bull headed idiot for not noticing earlier.

"But you know he will never stop me from doing what I want to do, I never feel trapped or unwelcome by Usagi" He says to the kid, but I get the feeling its directed at me "Sorry if we confused you and sorry for lying to you..." He says and moves his eyes quickly to me and he takes a deep breath "The truth is... I love Usagi" he says clearly even as his whole face and ears go bright red. I'm suddenly so glad I had heard Akihiko's confession this morning, at least I can hide the shock and hurt I'm feeling in front of them.

Akihiko is looking wide eyes at Misaki's back. He flicks his eyes to me quickly and I roll mine at him.

 _Too bloody late now my friend just accept that you have been claimed by my brother and don't come to me when you want to talk gritty details._

Usami takes my sign of acceptance and envelopes Misaki in a hug from behind.

"I love you too my Misaki" He says proudly and buries his face in his hair.

The kid is looking confused at the sudden change in atmosphere and starts to back away. I not sure that kids ever been told he was loved and it might be hurtful to not be included, he appears to have started to trust Misaki and now he can see him being taken away from him. But I needn't worry, Misaki scoops him up quickly and gives him a hug as the kid stiffens up and has no idea how to react.

"We love you too Hibiki" my sweet brother says and the kid starts bawling loudly and clings to him.

I meet the lavender eyes of Akihiko and nod at him, and motion that its time for Manami and I to go. I pull my lovely wife away from the door, and close it gently. I just hope Misaki knows what he's done. If Usagi can't fight to keep this child he would have caused more harm then good.

I lift our sleeping boy from the sofa and cuddle him close. I never want to see even a tenth of the hurt Hibiki has seen on our child's face. We pull the door closed softly as we leave the out little dysfunction family behind for the night.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

After last nights _very_ public love confession, too many tears and the night spent with me holding littler Hibiki until we both feel to sleep on my bed. I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to leave Usagi. We didn't get a chance to talk after the kids tears started and there are so many questions I still wanted to ask him. The feeling of nearly loosing him is still raw and feels like it could still come happen. I'm fearful that it will all be messed up and when I return from University it will have gone back to what it was like yesterday and I will come home to see Hibiki gone or Usagi a lost shell again.

But I can't not go, it's English lit and I can get even one lack if attendance on my record in Kamijou class. I'm just scraping by as it is. Usagi has to go his fathers lawyers office, both places are not somewhere a child can go. So Usagi called the only person we could think of to help us out ... Aikawa.

 _If she can manage Usagi she should be able to manage this son... I think._

But I'm worried the kid will run away from her the first chance he gets, he looks nervous as we both get ready to leave the apartment but it can't be helped really. The doorbell rings and both Hibiki and I jump as Usagi goes to get the door for his editor.

"So Usami I'm here! Where is it?" She looks ready to face a day of work in her smart black and pink pinstriped skirt suit complete with a white satin dress shirt she looks smart and very business like. Her eyes don't leave his face and she puts her hand out to him waiting. But he just walks away from her and let's her follow him in to the living room. Her eyes light up as she spots me standing in the living room nearly ready to leave.

"Misaki, glad I managed to catch you I wanted to ask how you are going with work, are you enjoying... Want to quit yet" she jokes and I smile at her.

"I am enjoying it, I have nearly finished Uni and I am eager to start for real. I'm still nervous as to what department they will place me in but I'm looking forward to it" I tell her honestly.

Hibiki moves closer to me and slips his hand into mine.

"Oh my, is this Mahiro he's too cute! But I thought he was still a babe. Man time flies by when I'm stuck looking after this no good lazy author." She jokes again as she looks down at little Hibiki. I share a look with Usagi, I finally understand her manner - he did not tell her why he wanted her to come over.

"No, this is not Mahiro – he is still a baby, this young man is Hibiki" I say and pull him around my legs slightly so he is standing in front of her. "Hibiki. This is Aikawa she is Usagi's editor and helps him to make his books"

"Pleasure to meet you" He says quietly as he bows and she squeals in delight.

"Oh My God! He's so cute!" confusion comes over her face "if he's not your brothers child then ..." She smirks at me "don't tell me he's your love child Misaki" She laughs at her own joke.

Usagi and I wait in silence for her to stop. Hibiki has move back behind my legs, maybe this was not a good idea. He's not very good around females. Usagi comes up next to me so we are looking her in the face.

"No he is mine" He says and her jaw drops.

"Yours! Seriously... But .." She looks at all three of us in turn and gives Usagi a dirty look "What have you done!... Misaki loves you! How could you?...You bastard" She growls at him, I'm touched that she cares for me so much but she has it slightly wrong.

"Aikawa, I would _never_ cheat on Misaki you stupid women! It was before we even started going out" He turned away from her frustrated at being called out as a cheater and walked to get his jacket from the back the chair.

"Oh Misaki if you need to get away from this lying bastard you come to me! Like I believe that Usami. The kids barely tall enough to be four" She accuses of him. _Wow she's not very good with kids ages is she._

"I'm Six and a half" Hibiki says quietly from my side and I smile down at him, I can understand his annoyance at being called years younger then you are. I got that as a child too... Well I still get that sometimes.

"Oh sorry... So it was before you two were... Ah sorry" She mutters an apology and goes pink in embarrassment at her out burst.

"So Usami, where is the article?" She asks and frowns at him "You do have it ready don't you... That's why you called me over ... Right" She hardens her eyes at him and takes a deep breath "Usami! It's due by lunch TODAY! Why don't you have it ready it's just one little article!" Her voice starts to get higher pitched and if he doesn't say something soon she's going to start yelling.

"That is what you assumed... not what I called you here for" He says calmly and looks at me.

"What?" She asks confused and looks between us and settled her eyes on little Hibiki she physically walks backwards and her hands come up in defense.

"Oh no no no... Sorry Usami but I can not look after children" She pleads to me with her eyes "They hate me!" she cries, but Usami just grunts at her and check his wrist watch "No! Usami I have a board meeting in a hour I can not take a child to that"

He puts his jacket on and glares at her, but I think she might be the only person in all of Japan that his look will not work on

"This is not happening" She actually stamps her foot angrily at him and growls back at him.

Aikawa lifts her handbag higher on her arm and storms towards the front door but Usagi gets in her way and cuts her off as the match of stubbornness starts. You can feel the electricity in the air as the try to out last each others fury. Hibiki is hiding still and I start to feel him shake slightly.

 _God all mighty these two are the adults..._

I roll my eyes at Hibiki and wink at him. I grab my bag and pull it over my shoulder and he tightens his hold on his little bear as we walk around them. He can come to uni with me, maybe Kamijou will not notice or I can ask Todo to look after him for the lecture. We are at the door and open it before either of the _adults_ even notice we have moved.

"Misaki?" Usagi calls to me in question, I smile at him. For now this will be fine, we will work something out tomorrow.

"We are going now, I decided I want to show Hibiki the University after all" I look down and golden eyes smile back at me.

 _Lord he's going to be a heart breaker like his father when he grows up!_

"See its fine Usami" Aikawa says with relief and relaxes now that the child will not be left in her care.

"Misaki..." Usagi calls in concern again.

"It's fine, it's only one lecture - can you pick him up from Marukawa Publishing before my afternoon shift?" I ask, as long as he can collect him before then we will be fine.

"Yes, but are you sure?" Usagi asks me in concern. I look at Aikawa who is pleading me with her pretty made up face.

"He can sit in my office with me if your late Usami, I just can't take him to this board meeting... But don't you dear be late!" She says, helping me out.

"Ok we are going now" I call before the bickering starts again.

"Misaki, wait... " Usagi comes to me and places a gentle kiss on my forehead and ruffles Hibiki hair softly.

"I'm going now" I manage to mutter, how embarrassing in front of Aikawa.

"Stay safe... I love you ... both " He says seriously and I let the door close on their next argument over the deadline and importance of meeting them.

I try to not look at how red my face is in the mirror of the elevator as we descend. It's awkward but it's no where as unsettling as it was only a day ago. I will take all this embarrassment over the pain of nearly loosing him any time. I let got of the kids hand and readjust my bag and we head off on our slow walk to University.

Oh dear how is this even going to work? Will The Devil Kamijou really let this happen? I can't imagine him being alright with it, he's barely OK with me being in his class some days! People look at us sideways as we walk into the grounds together and the flow of people starts to get heavy I feel his hand slip back into mine. Finally I spot Todo ahead of me and smile down at Hibiki.

"What to meet a friend of mine, he's going to be a police officer so you can trust him" He nods as I call out to him. He spots me and waits for us to catch up. His raises his eye brows at me when he notices the child I have attached to my arm.

"Meet Hibiki... He's ..." Oh I didn't think this part through, how do I explain why I have a kid with me and how I know him...

"Ummm.." How do I finish this sentence with out hurting the kids feelings or letting it slip who's he is? The media would tear this apart if they found out and Usagi hasn't even got custody of him yet.

"Nice to meet you Hibiki" Todo saves me the trouble of having to finish a very awkward sentence and crouches down to shake the boys hand "My name is Shinoske Todo and I'm a good friend of Misaki's"

The kid moves his bear to under his arm and shakes his hand and nervously but ends up smiling at the gentle giant of a man.

"Did you come to see the University?" He asks the kid and raises his eyes to me in question.

"Yes, Misaki said I could is it still OK?" He asks politely.

"Yes of course it is, mind if I join you for a bit?"

Hibiki looks at me and I nod at him who in turn nods at Todo and puts his bear back in his hand. The tall man stands up and walks between us, Hibiki lets go of my hand - he must be feeling safer now with Todo around. We walk to the cafeteria to get a coffee before the lecture. I order a chocolate milk for Hibiki and the three of us take a quiet table near the window.

"What are you doing?" Todo whispers at me while Hibiki is slightly distracted as he drops his straw on the floor.

"I will get another one" The kid says and walks to the counter. I watch him like a hawk the whole time, if he starts to run I have to be ready to go after him. My foot will make it tricky but I hope to catch him at the door before he bolts.

"Things happened and I have to look after him for a few hours today. But I can't miss Kamijo's lecture" I whisper back as I keep my eyes on the ash blonde head making his way to the counter.

"Why is that child so frightened? What's going on? Are you in trouble?" He asks me only a few of the hundred questions he must have for me.

"I'm not in trouble, I can't tell you just yet please trust me for now and he... he lost his mother not long ago and she was... abusive towards him so he's a bit skittish" I admit and rush to finish before Hibiki makes his way back to us.

"I will help you hide him from The Devil Kamijou but this is stupid he's going to go mental at you"

"Thank you, I don't know what else to do" I agree, Kamijou will most likely go mental at me.

We finish our drinks in silence and walk to the lecture room early to try and slip in before The Devil teacher arrives. Hibiki is back to clutching my hand and I don't think he will let me leave him with Todo even if I thought that was an option now. The class room is quiet as we enter, no one is here I breath a sigh of relief we might just get away with this.

"Takahishi!" I hear my name growled at me from behind and I freeze and slowly turn around I hear Shinosuke swear gently under his breath.

The Devil Kamijou himself is standing behind me with a load of books in his arms and stacks of papers on the top. His brown eyes are as hard as ever and his scowl is firmly in place. At least his hands are full he can't throw one of the books at me... Yet.

"Shinosuke, this is not your class what are you doing here?" He scowls at Todo and I see him turn around too, he's hiding Hibiki behind his tall legs but I don't think it worked. We are busted, he's going to demand we leave and out of lack of attendance I will have to take a make up or worse he might just fail me for disrespecting his class and teaching by bringing a child into his lecture.

"Leave, immediately you are wasting my time" He commands the young man.

"Sir, everyone could learn from your lessons I assure you none of your time would be wasted" Todo says trying to pacify the demon teacher.

I see his eye start to twitch, we definitely are not going to get out of this unscathed.

"Get. Out!" He demands.

My friend shrugs at me, he really can't disobey a professor it's totally against his nature to disobey authority. He is going to make a good officer one day. I nod at him, it was wrong to get him involved in this in the first place. I can't let him get in trouble for me.

He moves away from Hibiki and pats my shoulder friendly as he walks out. I wish so hard that Hibiki would follow with him but I knew it was not going to happen and I let him hold my hand as the tall man walks away leaving us to the mercury if the angry man.

The Devil Kamijou, ignored us and placed the books and papers on his desk at the front of the empty class. Then he walks back and shuts the door and locks it as he turns back to me and walks back to us never uttering a word. His face softens slightly as he looks down at little Hibiki. But his eyes are not soft as they move back to me and pin me to the spot.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry sir. I know a classroom is no place for a child but I didn't know what else to do and I can't fail your class..." I quickly mutter. This was stupid he is going to kill me!

He puts a hand up to stop my river of words and the twitch is back. He pulls one hand down over his eyes and sighs heavily.

"Stop! Usami has already called me" He says and moves to lean against his desk, crossing his legs at the ankles he stares at us. I start to fidget unsure what to do. Hibiki is looking confused but stays still and quite. He's hyper aware of adults around him and it's painful to know that harsh conditioning has caused him to act like this.

"He has the same golden eyes she had but other then that he's just like Akihiko was at that age. What did she call him?" He asks me.

"Ah... His name is Hibiki" I say like a idiot, I don't know what to say to this man it surprised me that he even knows Usagi let alone _knew_ him when he was this small.

"Echo, that's a adapt name for him" He says and I look at Hibiki in confusion why is he talking about his bear. Kamijou sees our confusion and sighs.

"Did you learn nothing in my class! Every name, every word has a history and meaning of its own breathing life into the language we speak today and Hibiki has a meaning of Echo" He's back to being pissed at me, and he walks around the desk to open his books.

"And your wrong a classroom is the perfect place for children, but not this time. Take him and go! As a favor to Usami I will not mark you as absent ..."

"Thank you" I say as I bow.

"... but you must attend a make up lesson and take this with you. It's due in seven days and I will have no excuses from you nor will I accept it late" He warns me and hands me a paper summary to write. "Now get out before I change my mind" Kamijou scowls and we are suddenly walked out the door and it's slammed behind us.

"Wow you got out... Alive" Todo comments and I nod, I'm just as shocked but glad he waited for us.

"Want to go get ice cream?" I ask the child and see his golden eyes light up in delight. Might as well enjoy the three hours I just got back.

"Awww man not fair! I have Kendo and can't join" Todo whines and we walk away quickly I case The Devil teacher comes back out and changes his mind.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

 _I do not have time for this women's demands today!_

"Aikawa ENOUGH! We are _not_ talking about this any more. The article will not be done in time it's just for the site you can write a late apology for me!" I storm out of the door and shut her in my apartment.

I press the _'down'_ button over and over and it's not here fast enough. She storms out after me, slamming the door closed as she joins me in the hallway.

"Fine! But you had better have it for me soon Usami, not even _you_ can stay popular with out interacting with your fans" She grumbles but she's lost the fight and she knows it.

"Fine" I growl at her and we both get in the lift and I push button for the basement level "Want a ride to the station?" I ask and she nods at me.

It's always like this with us, heated arguments one second and quiet politeness the next. I would never tell her but she really dose know how to navigate my moods very well. In silence we get in my car and pull out of the building.

"So, your love child hmm..." She prompts. _I take it all back - she is a nosy pain in my ass!_

"Leave it!" I warn her as we move steadily through the traffic.

"Oh come on! Not ten minutes ago you wanted me to baby sit this kid and now your not even going to let me know more then his name, unfair" She sulks and smooths down her skirt then checks her make up in her tiny purse mirror.

"Sorry, I should have never asked you like that" I apologize to her.

"Pfft you never actually _asked_!" She mutters and flips the mirror closed and puts it back in the void of her handbag. "Please just don't hurt Misaki, and tell me what this is all about... If it's going to delay your work then I need to know. You already cause me enough trouble as it is." She says to me not in a joking way.

I pull over and let her get out as we are at the station. She pauses at the door before she opens it, turns her dark blue eyes towards me and hardens her face.

"Don't you dear be late in picking this kid up Usami or I will 'out' you to Misaki's brother! You hear me?" She threatens me and gives me a weak smile. She gets out and shuts the door, I push the button to unroll her window and she leans her face down slightly before I pull away.

"Too late for that demon women" I yell at her and watch her eyes go wide and her stupid grin turn to a chuckle as I take off before she can say anything else to me.

I put the window back up and smile to myself, this is indeed a mess but at least I got to hear Misaki confess his love to me. No maybes and no probably about it, a honest and clear confession and in front of his brother no less. Now I need to sort out the rest of this mess and we can... well maybe not go back to normal but we can start to _try_ normal I guess. Thinking of Misaki I better call Hiroki and check he's not going to fail him. I dial my old friends number and wait for the speaker phone to connect.

"What!" He growls at me as a way to answer the phone, as grumpy as ever I see.

"Hiroki, a pleasant morning to you too" I smirk at him through the phone.

"Ah Akihiko! Sorry, you caught me off guard. What do you want?" He say in a rushed tone.

"I have a favor to ask"

"What now? You still have five of my books I'm not a dam library you know!" He growls at me sounding out of breath.

"It's not books this time, it's about one of your student" I advise him.

"A student?"

"Takahashi Misaki"

"Ah yes that boy, so your finally going to tell me are you?"

"Hmm tell you?" What is he talking about?, I pull into the under ground parking building of the law firm and see my fathers car in its usual spot and it's lights have just turned off. He's only just arrived ahead of me I see.

"Sorry I don't have time to explain all the details now but I need to ask you a favor" I hurriedly say as I see my father get out of the back of the car as his driver holds the door open for him. He looks over at my car and I know he's seen me.

"He has a child, a boy of six, with him today... Please don't mark him as absent I know he's finding your class hard and can't miss.." I ask distracted and watch as father straightens his jacket and starts to walk over towards me.

"A child! At a university! What the bloody hell is going on? Why would I not fail him on the spot?" He growls at me in a hushed tone.

"The child is mine and Arashi Kira" I confess to him in a rush in an effort to shut him up. "Look I have to go, but I will explain later, can you please do this... for me?" I ask desperately.

"Yes... But you ow..." He says as I cut the call short.

I disconnect the phone as father waits for me outside my car. I take a deep breath and grab my phone and the dammed book she kept her secrets in. He moves away from the window as I get out and slam my car door closed causing a dull thud to ring around the parking building.

"Morning my Son" He says pleasantly to me. I nod but give him no comment.

I fall into line behind his assistant as we walk to the elevator and ascend in silence, the receptionist gives me a flirty smile as I sign in and accept the stupid visitors pass that my father insists I don't need. Security nods at me as he stands behind the reception desk and bows at my father as we enter the firm.

There is a hush that comes over the floor as people notice my father has entered, I feel childish even now being led behind him and start to feel my stomach fall. I have a feeling this will not go well at all.

Last night as Misaki and Hibiki slept I finally got the guts to read the letter she sealed away in the bible and it held nothing I could use. As far as I remember from law at university it would _maybe_ call in probable doubt If I was lucky. The letter was actually for Hibiki, the hand was not the neat and fine penmanship I was used to seeing from her but a scratched almost painful lettering scattered the page. It was only two sentences long and I don't think I will forget her words for a long time.

 _I'm sorry for the pain and heartache we caused each other, you caused me to lash out at you for being so very like him._ _I hope one day you will forgive me and visit the grave I will soon be resting in._

 _Regards, your regretful mother. Kira_

I don't think I will let Hibiki see the letter, even in death she hurts him and makes it his fault. She begs for forgiveness but tells him he caused her to do it. I was pulled out of my thoughts as father called my name, we had moved to the same board room as yesterday and he was waiting for me to acknowledge the two lawyers bowing deeply to me.

"Thank you for seeing me again gentlemen" I say and bow back to them.

We all take seats, including my father and one of the lawyers spins paper work towards me. It's the official document for the paternity test and I sign it with out pause. Under that is the transaction for the purchase of the house Hibiki grew up in. I see father raise his eye brows at me but I sign it quickly as well. I move them aside and father picks them up to examine.

"Oh so this is it then, her house. I'm surprised she stayed in Tokyo actually... Oh that's a high price for real estate in that neighborhood" He comments to no one in particular I look sideways at him, _so your a expert in real estate now!_ He puts the paper work down gently as he notices the whole room is watching.

"Sorry gentlemen please continue" He apologized to the room with a small smile.

I pick up the last document and try to make sense of it, it's not what I was expecting.

"Full custody rights?" I ask the lawyers and they piss me off as they look at my father before they speak to me.

"Yes, Fuyuhiko Usami asked them to drawn up. We should get them approved with no complaints as soon as we get the testimony of Father Kudo" One of them say, honestly I don't even remember their names.

"Testimony?" I ask father, it's all to clear who these lawyers actually take direction from.

"Is it not what you want Son?" He asks me with hard eyes of judgement, I can't quiet see the trap here but there is one I'm sure of it. I nod and keep reading the rest of the document.

It's fairly standard, calling out the abuse as documented and testified by the Father Kudo, the proposal of a paternity test for proof of fatherhood claims, my willingness to claim rights, the financial status and ability to support said child.

 _Oh here is the trap!_

Stability of the home environment the child will enter: Occupied solely by Usami Akihiko.

The current relationship status of the claiming party: Single

I can't even look at any of the men in the room least alone my father. I wished I didn't have to look for that this kind of trap, placed here by my own family. But if he thinks I will give up Misaki as easily as this - after all this time he doesn't know me at all. I take the pen and delicately scrawl ' _go to hell_ ' on the clause and place the papers neatly back in front of them and stand up to leave. I hear them check the papers and father chuckles from his seat. I guess they have seen my comments.

"Akihiko, come on you can not be serious" Father asks me and the two lawyers gape at me like fish as I turn around to scowl at him.

"I am deadly serious father"

"Come on Son! Not even I can guarantee a win on a custody case to a gay couple... especially when one if the couple is still a student and ten years the junior"

"That is not for you to decide" I growl at him and put both hands on the table to stop me leaping over the dam thing and chocking the life out of the man. He stands, not intimidated by my aggression.

"You are not thinking clearly, you really think young Takahashi is ready to have his life scrutinized and laid out in front of the courts... in what will possibly be a very public way?" He asks me.

This takes me by surprise I don't think of what investigators Misaki might have to face if he was noted down as a secondary career. Father comes around the desk and stands next to me.

"You really think your ready to have all of your private affairs aired out as well? You are practically a celebrity, do not fool yourself into thinking this will go unnoticed... This is a very dangerous path you follow Son and I warned you that you would have to part at some point" He places a fresh set of papers in front of me and pats my shoulder.

"Just think about what you would really be asking Takahashi to do if you change these documents. You could just send him away for a short time until the case is approved and the public and courts have moved on to the next thing" He suggests to me.

Father motions for the lawyers to leave the room with him and I'm left staring at the custody document and a hollowed out bible as they both silently mock and threaten to not only disrupt my life but destroy Misaki's future too. Can I really ask him to do this, will he even know what he's going to have to go through if he says yes?

I snatch the paper off the desk and storm out, ignoring all looks of concern. I throw the dammed visitors pass on the receptionist desk startling the poor women and angrily wait for the elevator to open. I close the door before anyone else gets in or try's to stop me and hit the basement button over and over impatiently, finally the doors open to the dark parking garage. My car chirps happily as I unlock it and throw the bible and papers on the passage seat. I see the other lift open and my father steps out looking for me with concern.

 _What a lie, he's not concerned for me he wants to control me again!_

I take off in a spin of angry tires and don't look back at him. I drive to Marukawa Publishing, I have to talk to Isaka about what could happen if Hibiki is found out. The man maybe a my brothers friend but he's a business man first and will protect his assists fiercely.

I'm like a summer storm as I blow in to the building and people move aside and away from me as stomp my way into the man's office. I will not be stopped by anyone including Asahina, his assistant. His office door nearly flies off the hinges at the force I throw it open with. He sees me scowling and the flushed angry face of his assistant behind me and holds up his finger to me in a gesture to wait till he's off the phone. I feel my eye start to twitch but nod forcefully and sit down daring Asahina to even ask me to move. His call ends with him apologising and a promise of a returned call when he's able.

"Hold all my calls please Asahina, and reschedule or reassign any meetings I have for the next two hours. Can you also ask Aikawa to come see me in 30 minutes" He asks politely.

"Of course sir, may I remind you that you have a meeting with an external paper company at three and unfortunately it can not be moved. Do you wish to ask your father to attend in your steed?" The assistant ask just as politely.

"No, I will make my self free for that, please remind me fifteen minutes before" Isaka says with a heavy sigh.

"Of course sir, Usami" He says and bows us a farewell.

Isaka finally turns his undivided attention to me and all politeness has been replaced with irritation.

"You are a foolish man Usami Akihiko" He says and takes all my fight away with his simple words. I hang my head low, I can not disagree with him on that.

"I have not yet worked out how we can spin this to our advantage, but I _do_ know we need to get on top of this before the media get their claws into it." He gets up from behind his desk opens his desk draw and pulls out a packet of smokes.

Walks around to lean on the front of his desk in front of me, crossing his legs at the ankle he offers me a cigarette. I take the one and roll it around between my finger and thumb. He passes me the lighter and I just hold on to both, the patches aren't working but my unspoken promise to Misaki is. I can't break yet another promise to him even a promise he knows nothing about. I put the lighter and unlit smoke on the desk in front of me and sit back in the chair.

"What do I do?" I ask him finally.

"Oh Great Lord Usami is asking _me_ the lowly Director of this company what to do! Have the heavens opened up and replaced you with an angel from on high?" He mocks me and I narrow my eyes at him and lightly kick at his foot as he chuckles.

"In all honesty we need to work out our position on this quickly. Haruhiko has told me what happened... in part. Now I want to hear your version." He takes the unlit smoke from the desk and starts to play with it as he gestures for me to start talking.

"In short, Arashi hid his conception and birth from me - which is why I think she took the deal father drew up for her years ago so quickly. It appeared she was going to wait till the child was seven - when legal custody would be near impossible – to reveal him and extract more hush money from my family." He's nodding along with my narration of the events so far and I'm guessing this is what my brother must have passed on to him. Isaka motions me to continue as I pause too long.

"However the vile women ended up killing herself from a drug overdose... but not before she neglected and abused her Son for six long years" I swallow and now he's started to take interest again.

"The kid was found at the address five days after her death and was put into the social services emergency housing system. However he kept trying to get back to the house it seems - six months, and six times he was moved from emergency care each time he ran away." Isaka nods and puts the unlit smoke back in the packet. "The last place was closer to his old home and he must have gotten in and found what he was looking for because... three days ago he turned up at my door demanding to see his father. Which turns out to be me" I finish and look at his calculating brown eyes.

"How do you know this is a fact?" He asks bluntly.

I get the birth certificate, photos, her letter and the tiny baby medical band from when he was a first born from my briefcase and place them lightly on the desk next to him. He picks each piece of evidence up in turn and his eyes go wider with each discovery he makes. He says nothing but puts his hand to his mouth in thought, I can almost see the gears in his mind start to grind as he puzzles a way through this for me and more importantly - to him anyway - my personal brand.

The BL series will be fine as that's under a hidden pen-name, however Akihiko Usami award winning novelist is a whole other matter. The headlines are bound to be a spectacular array of lies anywhere from _'Abused child found in Usami's basement'_ to _'Usami, author and saint rescues abused children in spare time'_ I groan just thinking of what rubbish could be printed if it was not controlled. But honestly I'm more worried over headlines that might say _'Abused child and unwilling sex shave found at Usami residence'_.

"Well now, how is your cutie taking all of this?" He asks as he keeps his mental gears running.

"Shocked at first, but alright now... I think, the kid - Hibiki, he's really taken to Misaki and to be honest I would not have been able to handle the child on my own. He really was worked over by his mother and seams rather afraid of me" I say as I gloss over the part about Misaki running away.

" _Shocked...Pfft_ I heard he ran from you to the arms of your older brother" Isaka baits me but I don't bite. Misaki is back home with me now there is no need to re-live that part of the whole ordeal.

"This is what my father wants" I say as I hand him the custody paperwork and he takes it with a raised brow in question.

"I also purchased the house he was brought up in and plan to flatten it as soon as I can" I tell him and lean my elbows on my knees and hold my head as he reads the legal paperwork.

"Sole occupier, and single now are we?" He asks but I don't think he expects a answer. "I can see why he would suggest this, it's the cleanest way to deal with it all, it will keep the Usami name clear and keep Misaki out of the limelight." He hands the paperwork back to me and goes back around to his desk to sit he is quiet for a long time before he asks "What do you want?"

"If it was just me I would take the blow, hell I would even leave Marukawa Publishing if I had too" He nods his head in thanks and smiles at me "but it's not just me, if I involve Misaki it could destroy his future here, at collage... just about anywhere he would try and get a job would reject him" I say what is finally causing me so much pain "I will ruin his life"

"Yes, I see your point. Strange how a love child can be accepted by the masses however mention a Gay couple will be taking care of the child and we might as well be feeding the kid to wolves" Isaka muses over my concern and picks up the phone.

"Asahina, can you please send the lawyer in to my office as soon as he his available... no... nothing like that... yes please." He hangs up and comes back around the desk to stand in front of me once again.

"Usami, this child issue must be addressed. And this is just a hunch _but_... I think you have enough to file for custody with out having to go through the courts. Can I show this evidence to our lawyer and ask him for his suggestions?" He ask me and I nod with a frown.

"Look it may just be me, but I think your father is using this as an excuse to try and distance you and your cutie. Lets face it, at the start I wanted that too, but he's good for you and your book sales have been through the roof since he started living with you" He holds his hand up as the door opens.

His assistants face appears around the corner, Isaka nods at the man and the door opens fully to make way for short slim man with deep black hair that is just showing the first signs of grey and steel grey eyes. He bows to the room and takes a seat, I can see him wanting to pick up the legal papers in front of him but he politely holds his hands on his knees and waits for his orders.

The assistant closes the door after him and leaves us to the quiet scheming mind of the Director.

"Sasaki, thank you for coming. Can you please check these and find a way we can settle this with out the courts involvement?" He asks and passes all the documents and evidence to the waiting lawyer then he beacons me to move away and leave the man to his business.

I stand at the window and look down at the traffic and people walking by the office building, all these years I have been watching people and I'm still surprised at how every day life can carry on while one single persons world can be falling apart as it goes completely unnoticed by everyone. Isaka is sitting on the windowsill and smiles his wicked smile at me, he's found a way he can use this to his advantage. He stands and walks to the lawyer, he is amazing at reading people and their body language and clamps the man on his shoulder giving him a fright.

"You can make this work can't you Sasaki" He says to the man and smiles broadly at me as the lawyer nods at him.

"So Akihiko, this is how it will need to go..."

* * *

A/N: I have no knowledge of the legal system - so sorry if I have messed any of this up - I will be happy to take advice and comments on how it should be played out... we are close to the end people... just wait a little longer.

Thanks for ever one who is reviewing me work - it keeps me going, and thank you for all the quiet readers - I hope you are enjoying it too.

Till next time BearHunter.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

The press conference was finally today, it was arranged only two days ago but I was so nervous it felt like it had been shadowing our lives all week. Akihiko didn't seam concern by it and wouldn't talk to me about it. Hibiki said he would do it and then closed off as much as his father.

It brought unnecessary tension into the house so I let it drop. It's only been eight days since our world was flipped upside down and little Hibiki came into our lives, but in that short time I have come to adore this child and even get used to his quiet ways. Him and Usagi are _tolerating_ each other and I see the strain of the hours they have to spend together while I'm out at work or at Uni. It will be better once Hibiki starts at school next week. Akihiko refused to get a sitter, saying the house was too full as it was and that the child never got in his way anyway.

We all caught a taxi to the hotel where the conference was being held, after I had a very heated argument with Usagi about how a child can not get in a private car with out a child seat regardless who's car it was!

Aikawa meet us and showed us in to the side room where we could wait. I'm relieved and concerned at the same time, relieved its finally come and will be over soon - but concerned that every other press release Usagi has done was about his work, his books and how he felt when he won a award but this time it would be different. This time it's about his private life, I was shocked when he agreed with Isaka about going public with the existence of Hibiki but I could not talk him out of it.

I could hear people start to file into the other room and Hibiki looked nervous as he stood off to the side of the room alone I went to go to him but Isaka bet me to it. He leaned down and spoke softly to the boy and pointed at me until the kid nodded a few times. He looked sad but the appeared to be agreeing with the director. They walked towards me and I took Hibiki's hand protectively.

"You OK?" I asked him quietly and he nodded but would not meet my eyes. I shared a worried look with Usagi who was standing next to me.

"Time to go cutie, come wait with me out front" Isaka said as he clamped me on the back and pulled me away.

"Misaki" Usagi called and I smiled and waved at him as we left the waiting room.

"Let them do this cutie, we don't want something Unnecessary to happen to Akihiko work now do we?"

 _Unnecessary... Was I really unnecessary?_

He opened the doors to the conference room and we slipped in to stand at the back. He leaned against the wall casually and nodded to his assistant as he came to join us. He stood on the other side of me and it made me nervous like they thought I might do something stupid if they were not here to stop me. The room started to get hushed as everyone took their seats, voice recorders and cameras at the ready.

 _How was Hibiki going to deal with all of this pressure?_

Aikawa came out first in her black skirt suit she looks all business as she controlled the room with a look.

"Ladies, gentlemen thank you for coming today on short notice. This is the first and most likely last interview Usami will take about his private life" She said to the room and there was disappointed mummer from the reporters. She put up her hands up for quiet and gave the room the same scary look she gives Usagi when his work was past its due date. Isaka chuckled next to me at how she could control the room.

"Please settle, Usami would like to advise the press of his recent adoption of a young charge, this young man was brought to the authors attention by the way of the family's priest who had concern for the child having placement issues due to the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the child's mothers death." She held her hands up again to quieten the room once more "... He request no questions be asked of the mothers death to the child as it's very upsetting to him. I will now take a few questions"

 _Adoption, this was not a adoption_ – how can you adopt your own child she should be saying he has custody of his child, why would she get that wrong? I start to shift away from the wall but a look from Isaka stops me and he motions with his head from me to stay put and continue to watch. I frown at him but stay where I am.

Aikawa pointed to a women in the front who stood proudly at being picked first and bowed politely at the editor.

"How old is this child? And is it a boy or girl" The reporter rushed two questions into one.

"The young man is six years old, and before you ask his name is Hibiki Usami"

"Usami? " Someone called for the back.

"Yes the closed adoption papers have already been passed and Usami wishes to acknowledge this child as he sees him now, his child" She clarifies and pens quickly scribble down her answers.

"Who was his mother?" A brave reported calls from the front but Aikawa ignores him and points to the another reporter.

"Will this effect his writing?" He asks her, I can almost see her twitch as she thinks how it might actually slow him down.

"I'm sure he will continue to produce the quality of work we are used to seeing from him." She smiles sweetly at the crowd.

"Well that's all I can tell you... Quiet please, Usami will now come out to accept a few questions but please keep them brief as we do not want to overdo the child" she said to the room and this time the mummer was with excitement and I head whispers of the word child and lucky. It was like Aikawa knew how to feel a pack of hungry Hyena's and she had them eating out of her hand.

The side doors opened and in walked Usagi, he looked stunning like always. He had his jacket off but his crisp white long sleeve shirt and smart black vest made him look even more powerful then normal dose with his jacket on. The cameras flashed quickly and he threw the waiting reporters his winning smile. The door closed and he held up his hands for the cameras to stop, they obeyed and even took their seats. It's like watching a lion tamer at a circus.

Usagi turned and opened the door slightly and Hibiki came into the room and took his hands. He too looked adorable in his jeans and white shirt and little black vest that looked almost like a copy of Usagi.

 _He was not wearing that before, did they dress him to look more like Usagi?_

Hand in hand they took the stage, Hibiki climbed on to a chair next to the podium and stood very still as the cameras went off in front of him. Usagi's hand went around his shoulder and the kid beamed his own winning smile at the crowd.

 _Holy crap this kid was as good at playing to the press as his sneaky father._

The crowd was putty in their hands and I heard several of the female reporters Awww and swoon at the overwhelming cuteness of the picture they made. The cameras stopped and Usagi nodded at the women at the front accepting her raised hand and first question.

"How do you feel you will go raising a child on your own?" She asks and I tense up as his eyes meet mine over the crowd. What the hell he will not be on his own, I will be there every step of the way. I wait to see what he will say.

"It takes a village to raise a child as the old saying goes and I have the support of my friends and family, I think we will do fine" he says smoothly and moves his eyes back to the crowd and picks another person to ask a question.

"Do you think it's wise to raise a child with out a mother?" A male reporter asks from the middle of the pack.

Usagi stiffens up and Hibiki looks up to him with his golden eyes starting to tear up. A single tear rolls down his cheek and Usagi scowls out at the man who caused his adopted son to cry. He picks him up and let's the kid lean into him.

 _What the hell! Last I knew they could only just tolerate each other. What is going on?_

"Please refrain from asking about his mother" Usagi says darkly and the man sits with a apology.

Hibiki turns his head around and looks right at me as leans into the microphone as the room falls quiet on bated breath waiting to hear what the kid might say. I start to move forward this is too much to ask him, he's only six. But I'm stopped by a hand on each of my shoulders as Isaka and his assistant hold me in place gently.

 _They planned this the shits! They planned to make the kid cry for the cameras!_

"Pappa will look after me" The kid says with a tiny smile on his face and I relax as he seams fine. Usagi juggled him a bit and the kid falls quiet. The cameras go off again rapidly.

Usagi points out another reporter to talk and gives them a dazzling smile as he moved the kid to sit easier in his arms and moves the chair out of the way with his foot in one smooth motion.

"Will this mean you will be moving on to writing children's books?" The reporter asks Usagi. He smiles down at Hibiki on his hip and looked back at the press.

"No, I don't think so I am along way off from that I believe" He says to the room with a light chuckle and the room lightens up as the tension leaves the space.

"I can help you write one Father-Usami" Hibiki says innocently and the room erupts into laughter, Hibiki smiles and shyly hides his face into Usagis shoulder again.

"I think that will be all the questions we will be taking, please excuse us." He says and walks the kid off stage and quickly leaves the room as the reports call out complaints and further questions that go unheard.

I want to rush after them and demand to know where that happy family on stage had come from! But again in stopped by Isaka's arm on my hand.

"Not yet cutie, let the press move off" He says as his grip gets tighter.

I frown at him and try to shrug him off I don't care right now if he's my boss I want to go check on Hibiki and demand answers from Usagi. I watch all the people file out if the room and I'm finally released from his grip.

"Before you go getting all angry at us know this" He says to me as the last of the reports leaves the room "... had we played it out any differently - you would have had to be mentioned and Usami didn't think you would be ready for that. If he had gone down the custody path then you would have had to leave his house or be put under the microscope and your relationship would have been opened up for all to see." He pushes away from the wall and faces me with hard eyes "I want you to know what that man has just given up for you. He can _never_ claim that child as his own biological son now, all so you can stay hidden. I will say this only once cutie... You own that man your future and if you don't start to acknowledge your relationship you are going to destroy him" He says and walks ahead of me, I stand there in the empty room and feel very small and ... Unnecessary.

The door opens again and Aikawa pokes her head out, I can hear raised voices behind her.

"Misaki you better come help sort this out" she tells me and I rush to her side and look in the room. Hibiki is hitting Usagi with his black vest and tears are drying on his face. Usagi is just standing there with hands up unsure what to do.

"What did you do to him?" I ask as I enter the room and the door closes behind me.

"Nothing" Usagi mutters.

"He said I couldn't talk about you Pappa and I wanted to!" He accuses Usagi and he looks as confused at the kids outburst as everyone else in the room.

"You did talk about me" Usagi says to try and calm him down. The vest gets dropped and the kid is now sulking.

"Not you, Pappa-Misaki" He says in a tiny voice. I'm shocked! I'm the _Pappa_ he wanted to talk about!

Usagi recovered quickly and crouches down and they both face me, golden and lavender eyes look at me with blinding love and admiration.

"Pappa is shy, so we don't talk about him to others. You don't want to make him upset do you?" He asks the child who shakes his head and smiles at me.

"Did you see me Pappa? I was good right? I said all the things Isaka asked me too" He beams a smile at me and I walk over to take his hand.

"Yes Hibiki you were wonderful and such a big help to Usagi" I say and Aikawa starts to pack up and leave the room.

Usagi leaves shortly after her with to call a cab and I'm left with Hibiki and Isaka. The director smiles sadly at me and shakes his head.

"Told you cutie" He says and walks out too.

"Can we go home now Pappa?" Hibiki asks.

"Yes Hibiki lets go home" I say and we lave to find Usagi.

The End... for now?

* * *

A/N: So that's the final chapter in the Unwanted Rabbit story... (or is it, Review or message me if you would like to hear more about the sweet little family that has been created here).

I originally was going to write this story as a short fluffy one, but it totally took over and demanded to be written like this. Like the short one-shot this all started from a song 'Anchor' by Birds of Tokyo - I could see Misaki thinking of Usagi as the one that never needed the anchor.

Thank you every one who read and reviewed my work - once again sorry for the spelling errors (I will go over it and clean it up some more - after my holiday :) - Sorry if it was distracting while reading).

Anyway - Until next time - BearHunter


End file.
